enough to keep Rosa and Lilium warm.
It wasn’t true what Gabri said. There was no way simply cracking the shell had hurt Lilium. She hadn’t done much, just a little crack, just enough to give Lilium the idea, really.
Ruth got up, her hip and knees fighting her, and limped over to the oven, instinctively putting her shrunken and veined hand in to make sure the element was still on, but not too hot.
Then she bent over the little ones, watching for breath.
Lilium looked fine. She actually looked as though she’d grown. Ruth was sure she saw the little chest rise and fall. Then she slowly made her way back to the white resin chair. She stared a little longer at the pan in the oven then pulled a notebook toward her.
She could see the pink scalp and yellow beak poking through the shell. She was sure the little one had looked at her, and squealed. Called for help. She’d heard that geese bond with the first thing they see. What she hadn’t heard was that it goes both ways. She’d reached out then, not capable of just watching the little one struggle. She’d cracked the shell. Freed little Lilium.
How could that be wrong?
Ruth laid down her pen and put her head in her hands, her knotty fingers clutching at the short white hair. Trying to contain the thoughts, trying to stop them from becoming feelings. But it was too late. She knew.
She knew that kindness kills. All her life she’d suspected this and so she’d only ever been cold and cruel. She’d faced kindness with cutting remarks. She’d curled her lips at smiling faces. She’d twisted every thoughtful, considerate act into an assault. Everyone who was nice to her, who was compassionate and loving, she rebuffed.
Because she’d loved them. Loved them with all her heart, and wouldn’t see them hurt. Because she’d known all her life that the surest way to hurt someone, to maim and cripple them, was to be kind. If people were exposed, they die. Best to teach them to be armored, even if it meant she herself was forever alone. Sealed off from human touch.
But, of course, her feelings had to come out somehow, and so in her sixties the string of words she’d coiled inside came out. In poetry.
Jeanne was right, of course, thought Ruth. I do believe. In God, in Nature, in magic. In people. She was the most credulous person she knew. She believed in everything. She looked down at what she’d written.
Ruth Zardo picked up the little bird, no longer needing her warm, new towel. Lilium’s head fell to one side, her eyes staring at her mother. Ruth lifted the tiny wings, hoping, maybe, she’d see a flutter.
But Lilium was gone. Killed by kindness.
*
Clara had been in her studio since midnight. Painting. A feeling had crept over her since the party. Not yet an idea, not even a thought. But a feeling. Something significant had happened. It wasn’t what was said, not totally. It was more. A look, a sense.
She’d sneaked out of bed and practically run to her canvas. She’d stood back from it, staring for many minutes, seeing it as it was and as it could be.
Then she’d picked up her brush.
God bless Peter for suggesting the party. Without it she was sure she’d still be blocked.
THIRTY-NINE
The next morning was splendid, a green and golden day. The early and young sun hit the village and everything shone, made fresh and clean by the rain of the day before. Despite being up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night Gamache rose early and went for his morning walk, tiptoeing between the worms on the road, another sign of spring. They at least were silent. After twenty minutes he was joined by Jean Guy Beauvoir, who jogged across the green to join him on his walk.
‘We should wrap it up today,’ said Beauvoir, watching Gamache appear to sneak along the road.
‘Think so?’
‘We’ll get the report on the ephedra then question Sophie again. She’ll tell us everything.’
‘She’ll confess? Do you think she did it?’
