A sharp stab of need shot through her belly, surprising her, and she shifted her feet beneath the covers, trying to hide her reaction. Perhaps she was more tired than she originally thought. The man was cleaning a tiny cut, not making love to her.
He leaned closer, using a cotton swab to gently clean the cut. “What were you thinking about out there in the pool-right before you started to go under?”
His breath was warm on her cheek. Tess shook her head. Concentrate on his words, not on what he was doing to your body. “I don’t know. I don’t remember much. It’s pretty much a blur.”
As she spoke, Tess was conscious of how close he was, his mouth inches from hers. It would be so simple to lift her head and quickly brush her lips across his, and then run her tongue along the swell of his bottom lip.
She tightened her fingers on the edge of the sheet. What was wrong with her? Was
“Do you trust me enough to try something, Tess?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts. The deep smoothness of his voice, combined with its sweet underlying raspiness, seemed to weave a seductive web around her, lulling her and surrounding her with its hypnotic tone.
Tess nodded numbly, trying desperately not to think about what she’d like to suggest they do. She felt like melting butter.
He continued to work on the cut, and she watched his lips move. “Don’t force anything. Just let whatever is inside your head come out. Allow it to come out on its own.”
She nodded again. Waiting.
“Close your eyes and concentrate on my voice.”
Tess did as he asked. It was easier to comply than continue to stare up at his face and contemplate what she couldn’t have. She settled back, feeling the cool sheet against the back of her neck.
“Good, now I want you to think back when you were in the pool. You’re swimming, and the water feels good against your hot skin. It washes over you, cooling and cradling you.” He paused a moment before continuing. “Everything-your arms, your legs, your breathing-everything is working together for the same purpose. You feel warm. You’re secure. You feel totally safe.”
Tess was surprised she truly could visualize exactly what he was saying. “You’re swimming. No other thought except moving your arms and legs. You’re enjoying yourself. You can feel the afternoon sun against your upper back, and the water runs over you and around you, cooling you. Comforting you.”
Tess smiled, allowing the sensations to take over. And then, out of nowhere, an image popped into her brain. An image of herself strapped to a table, tubes and needles stuck in her arms-in her legs-in her neck. Her legs jumped, and in a haze, she looked up, watching as the figure of the ghost, cartoonish in its shape, hovered and floated overhead. She grimaced. What did it mean? The ghost reached out to her, but he was too far away.
A small whimper slipped between her lips, and Tess tensed. The tempo of her breathing quickened, the sound harsh and rasping in her ears.
Next to the bed, Ryan noticed the change immediately. He shifted closer, reaching out to stroke her forearm, trying to impart a sense that she wasn’t alone. That he was there with her.
He continued to talk, “You’re perfectly safe, Tess. No one can hurt you.” He watched her eyes move rapidly back and forth beneath her eyelids. “Nothing is going to happen. Nothing will hurt you. You are in total control. You can wake up anytime you need to.”
Beneath his fingertips, her muscles relaxed, and he could see the tension seep out of her shoulders. Her breathing slowed to normal. She was responding to him. Trusting what he said.
“Tell me what you see now, Tess?”
“Firecrackers. Thousands and thousands of firecrackers, all going off at once.” Her voice shook with a touch of wonder. “It’s beautiful. They’re filling up the sky. It’s like one big giant celebration.” She paused as if listening to something. “I can hear people shouting and clapping,” she said dreamily.
“I want you to concentrate on the voices, Tess. What are the people saying?”
Concentration knitted itself between her delicately arched brows. Ryan could feel some tenseness return to her body. “I can’t make it out. They’re shouting, but the words aren’t clear.” Suddenly her entire body jumped as if jolted by an electric wire.
Ryan touched her cheek, stroking her skin’s velvety smoothness. “You’re okay, Tess. Just tell me what’s happening. You’re safe.”
“Oh, God! Oh, my God!” she gasped. “Someone’s dead!” Her voice was harsh, strangled, but her eyes remained shut. She remained in a deep trance.
“Tell me who is dead.”
“I-I don’t know.” Her head lifted as if she was trying to see something. “I can’t see his face. But he’s dead. I can tell he’s dead. Everyone is standing around him. People are crying.” Confusion flooded her delicate features. “No, wait, it isn’t terrible. It-it’s a good thing. I’m glad he’s dead.”
Ryan watched as anger and sadness fought for dominance on her face. Some kind of battle raged inside her. She was torn, unable to decide how to feel. How to react.
Ryan fought an overwhelming urge to gather her into his arms, to hold her and comfort her. To tell her that everything would be okay. That he’d help her figure things out.
But at the same time, he knew it was wrong to even consider offering her comfort like that. It was impossible for him to step across the invisible barrier erected between them.
She was his patient, and no matter how personal her pain and anguish seemed, Ryan knew that he could not allow himself to become personally involved. He had to maintain his distance.
Her teeth chattered and her limbs trembled violently beneath the sheet. “Oh, God, he’s been shot. And there’s blood everywhere.” Her hands came up in front of her face and air hissed between her teeth. “Oh no, it’s on me! I’ve got blood all over me. Get it off! Get it off.” She frantically tried to wipe the imagined blood off on the sheets, her hands twisting and rubbing frantically on the sheets.
Ryan tried to gently restrain her frenzied movements, but she pulled away, sat bold upright and opened her eyes.
She stared at him, her pupils wide, her expression crumpling.
Ryan knew that he needed to calm her, to give her a feeling of being safe. He continued to speak quietly, his words reassuring. Soothing.
But the look in Tess’s eyes remained wild, and tears streamed down her face. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against the side of his neck. He could feel her tears on his skin.
“I don’t understand,” she sobbed against his neck. “Please help me understand.”
Ignoring the voice that warned him not to, Ryan wrapped his arms around her, pulling her slender frame close. He gently stroked her back, trying to make her feel safe and protected.
His fingers tangled in the luxurious strands of white-gold hair streaming down her back. He could smell the sweet fragrance of soap in her hair, and he felt a tightening in his groin. A sign of danger.
As he fought against the reaction, Tess dropped her head back and stared up at him through tear-filled eyes. Eyes that turned an astonishing crystal green.
Her lips trembled and softened, parting slightly. They were inches from his own and a slow heat built inside Ryan, a heat so hot that it seemed to singe his lungs with each inhalation, making him feel as though he would never again catch his breath.
And even as the voice inside his head cautioned him to remember who and what he was, Ryan found himself slowly losing the battle, forgetting everything he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do.
He dipped his head and brushed his lips across hers, savoring the taste. A taste like new honey on a hot summer’s day, smooth and sugary, with a warmth that reached so deep inside him that he thought he might surely die.
But when Tess responded, her lips moving beneath his, her hands tunneling deep into his hair and her mouth making soft, urgent little sounds of need, Ryan froze and then pulled away.
My God, what was he thinking? Had he gone completely and totally insane? Lost his objectivity? His sense of professionalism? His heart pounded in his chest, and he shook his head as if clear the heavy, mind-numbing fog that threatened to engulf him. “Damn! I’m sorry, Tess. I had no right to do that.”
“You don’t need to apologize for anything.”
He turned away and then turned back again, unsure what he wanted to do or say. But he knew he needed to do
