The Taste Of Night

So why did I suddenly feel so abandoned?

Ben smiled sheepishly at my lengthening silence. “I know. Internet dating. Corny, huh?”

“No, it’s just…” I swallowed hard, and even though I didn’t want to hear it, asked, “What’s she like?”

“Well, I’ve only seen a photo of her so far,” he said, leaning forward eagerly. “But we’ve been talking on the computer every day for about a month, and the phone a couple of times. She likes Thai food and long walks on the beach, so we might get together and see if we have anything else in common, you know?”

I stared straight ahead, jaw clenching reflexively. I fucking liked Thai food.

“What do you think?” he finally said, clearing his throat in the lengthening silence.

“Are you asking my permission?” I asked shortly, and immediately wished I hadn’t. He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. I grimaced apologetically, but it was too late.

“You know, Olivia, for a long time I thought Jo was someone I couldn’t have. All those years she was still alive I would substitute women in my bed for her. I fought for my victims at work, substituting them for her as well. I just didn’t have the…” He was going to say balls, I could see the word forming in his mouth, and he caught himself, remembering who he thought I was.

He cleared his throat. “Anyway, when I had to get used to the idea of her really not being out there, of a world without Joanna Archer…” He let his eyes close for a long moment and whispered, “I almost died. There was no reason to keep struggling any longer. She was gone. I lost. Why bother, right? All those women…I’d be substituting them for a ghost.”

I momentarily lost the ability to breathe. That’s exactly what I felt like sometimes. Casper. “So…why bother, Ben?”

“Because Jo would want me to. She kept living and fighting and moving forward in her life. She’d want me to do the same.”

I couldn’t bring myself to affirm that or say the words move on, but I nodded because it was the right thing to do. Just a few months ago this man was on the verge of going apeshit; he’d lost his job, his hope, and was doing a good job of losing his mind. I also nodded because he was a mortal, and it was my job to protect them. Getting on with his life would certainly do that.

And I nodded because I still loved him. Ben needed something, someone, good in his life. If there was such a thing anymore. “So when are you meeting this Rose?”

“Next Saturday,” he said, expression clearing. “I thought I’d take her to dinner, then maybe the show at Valhalla? What do you think?”

For God’s sake, why did he have to ask me? I didn’t like it, and not just because I had to lie. Asking meant he cared. It meant this might be serious. “I think it sounds great,” I lied. “Just…take it slow. There’s some weird stuff going on in this town these days.”

“I know.” He nodded, shifting in his chair. “That’s one of the cases I’m working on, actually.”

I snapped to attention, frowning at that. “What do you mean?”

He balanced on the back legs of his chair, dropping his hands to his knees. He thought he was on safe territory now. “The department called me in as a consultant. They think the plague might be related to my missing persons case. He’s a scientist; his field of study was in vitro and viral replication.”

“So how’s that related to this plague?” I asked. Playing dumb was such a good strategy. I don’t know why I hadn’t realized it before.

“Well, they don’t want to say anything yet, but evidence leads them to believe the killer might be infecting the victims while having sex. He injects them with a syringe or compound that fries them from the inside out. They’re dead within hours.”

“He?” I said, letting disbelief bleed into my voice.

“Well, there’s more than one, obviously. A gang of some sort. A cult. Maybe some religious fanatics determined to smite the wicked of this world.”

“That’s just…” Wrong. Stupid. Way off. “Freaky.”

“So don’t go around kissing strangers.”

“Take your own advice,” I said a little too vehemently, and suddenly I had to get out of there. Warren had been right. I needed to stay away from Ben. He was moving on, but I was stuck and until I got unstuck, it only meant more pain for me.

“Sure,” he said after a pause, watching me fumble for my disks and bag and wallet. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Worry?” I said, standing, and tossed my hair over my shoulder as I shot him a flashy smile. “Now when have you ever known Olivia Archer to worry?”

I kissed his cheek in parting, and he held my hand until I promised to call him soon so we could get together for lunch. Then I swept out the doors, pretending to be as carefree as I looked. But I couldn’t resist one look back. And as I left the cafe, I saw Ben turned in his chair, watching me walk past the plate-glass window just like every other guy in the shopping center. I smiled as I waved, but let it drop after I’d turned away, still feeling Ben’s eyes pinning me from the back, like he could see through me and knew what I was thinking.

And what I was thinking was, Fuck Rose. Because no matter what he said, Ben wasn’t finished with Joanna Archer. And he knew who I really was, I thought, touching my hand where he’d caressed it. He knew it…even if he didn’t know he knew it.

26

Every person I’ve ever met believes, to a varying extent, that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is as simple as you made a bad decision, you were a dumbass, and now you’ve got to pay. Other times the reasons go deeper, and you can feel in the soft grit of your marrow that there are other, greater powers at work in life. That’s how I felt as I returned to Olivia’s apartment after my meeting with Ben. No, I hadn’t discovered anything incriminating or surprising or even useful on Olivia’s disks. But if the computer hadn’t been stolen, and I hadn’t taken Olivia’s backups to that particular coffee shop, I would’ve never run into Ben. I would’ve never heard about his involvement in the missing scientist’s case or known about his date the following Saturday.

Thus I would have never known to follow him.

I only considered this option because he was obviously so helpless. A man dependent on the police’s misinformation about a sexual virus was going on his first date with someone since his love-his one true love, dammit-had died. Someone needed to look out for him. Someone needed to protect him from what he didn’t know…not to mention this Rose woman who had contacted him out of the blue, without knowing anything more than noodles and beaches turned him on. Surprisingly, when I shared this with Hunter-and I had to; he could sense my agitation the moment I walked in the door-he agreed.

“He was clean in the cafe, right?” he asked, taking a bite out of an apple as he perched on the kitchen countertop. “You didn’t smell any disease lingering about him?”

Reaching into the cabinet to pull out a wineglass, I shook my head. I felt odd about drinking in front of Hunter after what he’d told me of his past, but he insisted it didn’t bother him. And I really wanted a drink right now.

“Then it’s your duty to make sure he stays that way,” he said, gesturing with his apple. No sign of jealousy, interest, or care either way. Partners, remember, I told myself.

“How?” I gave myself a healthy pour of Sauvignon Blanc and swirled it in the glass as I turned back to him.

He shrugged, and with his mouth full, said, “Kiss him.”

I froze, glass halfway to my mouth. “You mean…infect him?” I asked, my voice high.

“I mean protect him.” He slipped from the counter where he’d been sitting, reached into his pocket, and held a small white disk out to me.

No, not a disk, I saw, flipping it in my hand. A cassette, like the ones Micah used in his labs. I looked back up at him, my question plain upon my face.

“Your blood work,” he explained, taking another bite. “I couldn’t steal the paperwork from Micah’s lab, but the physical evidence is there. You’re not immune to the virus because that initiate kissed you. You’re immune because you’re part Shadow.”