she hadn't let him finish. She couldn't, not until she'd sorted out her personal problems.
Thanks to Mac, she felt ready. He'd taught her how to find the woman inside herself. A woman she hadn't known existed.
She'd spent her life searching for something that had been forever out of reach. She'd done so by pleasing first her parents, then Tom. Never had she put her own needs first. She hadn't even thought to try. Without realizing it, she'd allowed herself to become empty and unfulfilled. When her mother had asked for her promise, Samantha thought she'd found their acceptance at last. She was wrong. She'd had it all along. She just needed more than they were capable of giving.
But she was no longer a little girl seeking affection. By the time her father had brought himself to the brink of disaster, bailing him out had been second nature. Sacrificing herself was something everyone expected. Even she hadn't truly questioned her decision. Until Mac had shown her all she'd be giving up.
In return for all he'd taught her, she'd given him the only gift she could before leaving. She'd asked him his name and offered hers in return. Freely given information without him having to push.
But she owed Mr. Ryan Mackenzie so much more than she could ever repay. And not just for giving her the passion-filled week she'd sought, or the love she hadn't. She gripped the iron railing in her hands as she faced the truth. She owed him for making her face herself.
And having done that, she knew.
She could not marry Tom.
If she turned her back on the woman she'd discovered, she would betray her innermost self. Worse, she'd betray Mac and their time together. Sam would never do that. She couldn't. She respected him too much to throw away everything he'd given her, not the least of which was a renewed sense of self-worth. She'd learned she couldn't sell herself for anyone, including her father.
What about your father, a little voice in her head asked? How could she bring herself to betray him?
Her stomach contracted, tightening into a knot as she acknowledged what awaited her. An annoyed and humiliated fiance, a betrayed parent and the unemployment line. Because once she ended her engagement, Sam had no doubt Tom, in his position as her boss, would terminate her immediately. And then?
Tom would move on, find another trophy to dangle on his arm and a competent financial planner to replace her. As for her father, she'd talk to his doctors and figure out whether he was capable of working again. Relocating seemed like a possibility for them both and would spare him Tom's wrath and the loss of status and dignity. One thing she knew. Her only parent would forgive. She had to believe that. After all, her mother and father had adored one another. Didn't she deserve the same? She'd agreed to this marriage because of a promise to her mother. A promise that had given her the sense of belonging she'd desired from parents who had loved, but hadn't known how to give in the ways a child needed.
But she was a woman now. One who'd been shown all she wanted out of life. She would never love anyone the way she loved Mac, and if he didn't want her forever, she'd rather be alone than settle for less. To do otherwise would demean them both. As she walked away from the balcony and back into the room, she laced her fingers over her stomach, trying without success to still the churning inside.
Why did doing the right thing have to hurt so much? Though she planned on coming back, she didn't know what awaited her upon her return. In silence, she packed her bag and paused by the bed one last time. She glanced down at the man sprawled on top of the covers and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
She hated to leave him this way. She hated to leave him any way, but she had no choice. Too many unresolved issues remained in her life. If she stayed, she'd be tempted to throw herself into his arms, declare her undying love and refuse to face the outside world. If she stayed, she'd have to listen.
A part of her didn't want to hear him say he'd wanted their fantasy week and nothing more, though she knew she might have to face that eventually. But there was the other possibility. That he'd want her forever. Her heart beat more rapidly at the mere thought.
Sam wouldn't know what Mac desired until she confronted him. And until she freed herself from the engagement that bound her, she had no right to ask.
Leaning down, she brushed one last kiss over his lips. 'I love you,' she whispered softly.
Rolling over, he threw one arm above his head, but he didn't stir. Would he understand or would he hate her for slipping away before he awoke? The most she could do was hope. A tear trickled onto her cheek and she wiped the moisture onto her arm. Then she forced herself to pick up her bag and head down to the bar, closing the door behind her. At least she knew where to find him when she was ready.
Seems he'd underestimated his Samantha. Mac knew the instant she left the room, and less than ten minutes later, he heard the slam of a door and the sound of an engine. He didn't need to glance out the window to know he'd see the red taillights of her replacement rental car peeling out of The Hungry Bear parking lot.
Letting her go was the hardest thing he'd ever done. But he had no right to hold her when she so obviously wanted to be gone. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and groaned. He'd banked on a couple of extra hours together. She'd bailed out early without saying goodbye. She was conflicted and confused, that much he understood.
He had only her parting whisper, words he wasn't meant to hear, to reassure him. 'I love you, too, sweetheart.' Mac said the words aloud for the first time.
He'd always thought the words would be the hard part. Never had he imagined the woman he wanted in his life would be elusive and hard to tie down. Whatever her reasons, Samantha deserved to do things on her own terms. Just as he'd decided to handle telling her the truth about him on his. Mac leaned over and reached for the phone.
An open-air lobby greeted Sam as she walked into The Resort. Plant life surrounded her, as did plush chairs and glass-top tables with Indian-drum-style bases. She placed her luggage down on the terra-cotta floor, allowing a bellman to take her bags. The hotel exuded warmth, tasteful decor, and as her fiance had reminded her more than once, it came with a five-star rating.
'Can I help you?' A young clerk, a nice-looking man who couldn't have been more than twenty, greeted her with a smile. The eager look on his face reminded her of her own early days at her first job.
'My name's Samantha Reed. I'm with the financial conference that starts tomorrow morning.' She glanced at her watch and cringed. 'I realize my room probably won't be ready until much later, but I was hoping to at least store my things.' She'd been in such a hurry to leave before Mac woke up that she'd forgotten she'd be temporarily homeless until a room became available.
Ignoring the pain in her chest that accompanied the mere thought of Mac, she focused on her empty stomach instead. 'And I'm starving. Is there a restaurant where I could have breakfast and sit for a while?'
The young man glanced up from the computer and shot her a beaming smile. 'Actually, we're all set up for you Miss Reed. Your room is ready.'
She blinked in surprise. 'Must have been a slow week for you to have rooms ready this early.'
'I, uh, yes. We had some early checkouts.' He busied himself typing information into the computer.
She glanced around while she waited. The hotel sported a comfortable atmosphere in the beige, cocoa and white color scheme she'd described to Mac in her fantasy home. Their fantasy home, she thought, feeling the onset of tears.
Obviously she couldn't put her bartender behind her. Even this luxurious hotel reminded her of Mac.
