him hope that this mindset would change once she believed his words. Believed in him.
Maybe it was just too fast, Damian thought. Maybe she needed time. 'Before you go, want to know what I felt when I discovered the baby wasn't mine? Once the reality set in?'
“What?' she whispered.
“Disappointed.' Of course he'd had to have the reasons spelled out for him, but damned if he wasn't one hundred percent certain they made perfect sense.
Micki blinked. 'You wanted Carole's baby to be yours?' she asked in disbelief.
He stepped closer. 'I wanted a baby to be mine. I want
She opened her mouth, then closed it again, obviously at a loss for words.
But he wasn't. He still had plenty more to say. 'So don't tell me I don't need you anymore. I do. But I've figured out where your head is at. You're not used to being needed in a non-professional way and that scares you.'
'Meaning?' She squeezed the dog closer to her chest and she yelped. Micki loosened her grip.
“Birth order. We're both the spoiled youngest children. You're so used to being taken care of, you don't know how to handle us now. And I'm not a shrink but I'd guess there's something going on with you being one of the guys. It's always been an easy excuse for you to hide from being yourself.”
She shook her head. 'What do you know? Like you said, you aren't a shrink.'
'Well maybe I should be because I have you pegged right. If you can consider yourself one of the guys, you have a perfect excuse if a relationship fails.' He drew a deep breath, realizing how much was on the line right now and how easily he could blow things. 'We won't fail, Micki. Unless you don't ever give us a try.'
The sun beat down overhead, his heart hammered inside his chest and he broke into a sweat waiting for her to reply.
'It's yourself you need to know better,' she tossed back. 'As soon as you get over the letdown of building yourself up to be a father, you'll realize how lucky you are to be free. And you'll thank me for not throwing myself into your arms now.' Tears flowed profusely down her face and she made no attempt to wipe them away.
He shoved his hands into his front jeans pockets because that was the only way he wouldn't reach out for her. 'You're dead wrong. I've already looked inside myself and come to terms with my future, so if anyone needs to get to know themselves better, it's you.' He started to walk away, then turned back to face her. 'And by the way, I won't be thanking you for this anytime soon.'
As defeat and loss settled on Damian's shoulders, he wondered if Yank would fare any better with Lola.
ONE WEEK LATER, Damian realized he'd been had. Yank had come home from rehab and begun short days at work. Damian knew because together they were planning his retirement announcement and future plans, but the older man had avoided any talk about his personal life at all.
Damian banged on Yank's office door and walked inside. 'You screwed me, old man.'
Yank scowled, looking completely affronted by the accusation. 'I did no such thing.'
Damian cocked his head to one side. 'Are you telling me that you did lay your heart on the line for Lola?'
He glanced down. 'Not yet.'
'Mind telling me what you're waiting for? Because misery loves company and since Micki turned me down, I figure it's your turn. After all, we had a deal.'
Yank coughed and looked away. 'Did I tell you how good it is to be home?'
Rolling his eyes, Damian sat himself in the chair across from Yank's desk. 'You're not overdoing it, are you?'. He shook his head. 'The girls wouldn't let me.'
'How about Lola?'
Yank groaned. 'You aren't going to give this up, are you?'
'Nope.'
'Micki's a stubborn one,' Yank said. 'Just like Lola.'
'No kidding” Damian couldn't believe he'd bared his soul to the woman he loved and despite her claim that she felt the same way, she'd rejected him anyway. He'd barely slept since that day in the park. 'I suppose I deserved the kick in the ass though. I mean all those years of being so arrogant with women. It was my way or no way. Sleep with me, no strings attached and be grateful or take a hike. It never mattered to me.' He rose and strode to the window overlooking the city.
'It matters to you now,' Yank said, stating the obvious.
Damian nodded. 'With retirement looming, what I want out of life seems more important than ever.' Every time he said the word
'We've got some strong interest from cable and satellite stations in having you as commentator. I think I can get them into a bidding war with GMA.'
Damian inhaled deeply, then slowly exhaled. 'Funny thing is, I' m not as worried as I thought I'd be about that part of things. I trust you and I have enough faith in. my ability to pull something off. Anything to keep myself busy,' he said and forced a laugh. 'It's not the professional stuff that's getting to me. It's the personal.'
Suddenly Yank rose and slowly came up beside him, leaning heavily on his walker as he moved.
'I didn't realize you were walking so well,' Damian said.
'If I wanted to get out of that hellhole, I had to work for it.'
Damian nodded.
'Micki was always the lost one,' Yank said, the topic of conversation catching Damian off guard.
But now that the older man had opened up, Damian wanted to know more and Yank seemed more than willing to talk.
'Annabelle was the oldest and she understood if I didn't take them, social services would split 'em up. So she became the peacemaker, the one who made sure her sisters behaved, not that they ever did,' he said, chuckling at the memory. 'But she took it on her little shoulders to try. She was serious and the little mother, following behind Lola and making sure everything was just so.'
Damian smiled at the vision.
'Then there was Sophie. She was always hardest to figure out. She'd escape reality with her nose in a book all the time. In some ways it made her the easiest because she had all the answers even before I knew there were questions.'
'And Micki?' Damian asked..
A smile curved the man's mouth into a smile. 'Always had a soft spot for her 'cause she told it like it was and was never afraid of my bluster. She walked up to me that first day and called me a pig. Then she told me to call her Micki instead of Michelle. Didn't sit well with her sisters, that much I can tell you.'
Damian met Yank's gaze. 'I didn't realize her name was Michelle,' he said, surprised.
'I don't believe anyone has called her that since the day I took the girls in. She just looked me in the eye and became my little Micki. But she missed out on the girlie stuff her sisters enjoyed and they never thought to include her since she seemed to like sports so much more.'
With a groan, Damian leaned against the window-sill, exhausted from no sleep and overwhelmed with the desire to understand what he could do to fix things between himself and Micki. Assuming there was something left to fix.
'So she considered herself one of the guys?'
'And I never did anything to discourage it.'
'I'm sure the guys she's dated have dispelled that notion ' he said, his gut cramping at the thought of another man's hands anywhere on Micki's body, never mind another man actually making love to her. He knew he wasn't the first but he damn well wanted to be the last.
'Not too many guys that I know of. A jackass or two wanted an in with me. Another couple she dated but if you ask me they were pansies, not worthy of my niece.' Yank shook his head. 'I shouldn't be telling you any of this. It feels like I'm betraying her.'
Damian laid a hand on the other man's shoulder. 'You're giving me insight that might help. I'd slit my throat before I'd use it against her,' he promised.
Yank nodded, seemingly satisfied. 'End result is she's confident in business and one hell of an athlete, but her self-esteem in the female department leaves something to be desired. It wasn't till just recently that she started to make an effort to look more… womanly. Even a blind man like me could see she was tryin' hard.'
'She never had to try with me. I knew from the first time we ki-I mean from the first time we met, that she
