“That’s what I came here to talk about. Even if I did have the money in liquid cash, I wouldn’t be giving it to you. It’s time you stood on your own. You may not have what it takes to make it in the majors but you have plenty of other talents. Certainly enough to make a living and support yourself. More than support yourself, really.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Oh, here it comes again. The old ‘why don’t you take a high school coaching job’ speech.”
“Why
“Because I’m better than that. But you wouldn’t know what it’s like to fall short, now would you?”
Roper had to laugh at that. “I know better than you think. I know exactly what falling short means. I know what it’s like to disappoint my family and my teammates. I know what it’s like to have fans boo me from the stands and throw things at me onto the field. I deal with criticism from everyday people on the street and from the media. I can’t name one source I don’t get shit from, so don’t tell me I don’t know what it’s like to lose. The difference between us is that I’m not afraid to step up to the plate. Whatever plate that may be. If I had to walk away today, I’d be damn happy to have a coaching job, Ben. No joking here.” He blew out a stream of air, shocked at how direct and hard he’d been with his brother.
He glanced at Ben, who appeared stunned, too.
“I’m sure that’s easier to say with money in the bank,” Ben muttered.
“I put that money in the bank.” He jabbed himself in the chest. “I earned it. When your father took off and mine was nowhere to be found, all I could think about was stepping up and making sure the family was taken care of. I mowed lawns while Mom worked. I did what I had to and I never asked a damn thing in return. But I’m asking now. No, I’m telling you now. Grow the fuck up. Get a job and hold your head up high for once,” Roper said, his heart accelerating in his chest.
Ben looked as if Roper had slapped him.
“What’s going on in here?” Cassandra asked, walking inside to join them.
Roper glanced at his younger brother. “Nothing. Give us another minute, okay, Mom?”
Cassandra nodded. “Just stop with the raised voices or I’ll be thrown out of here and then-” Her eyes lit up. “Then I can find a place where Harrison will never think to look!” she said, the idea obviously just forming.
Roper shook his head and groaned. “Remember your contract, Mom. We’ll talk in five minutes. Don’t do anything until then,” he warned her.
She laughed and walked out, probably already planning.
Roper quickly turned back to his brother. “Ben-”
“Not now. You’ve said enough.” Arms folded over his chest, he looked like the hurt little boy Roper remembered. It took everything Roper had to steel himself against the manipulation.
“Listen, Ben, my point is this. You have more inside you than you give yourself credit for. You could do a world of good coaching kids. You could tap into their psyches-those that already believe in themselves and those that don’t but should. You can steer them in the right direction from the start.” He placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder.
Ben shook it off.
Roper swallowed back the hurt, knowing he had to let things settle and hope someday his brother would come around. “Let’s go join Mom and Sabrina,” Roper said.
“Why bother? I’m finished here.” Roper waited in the kitchen while his brother stormed out of the room, said his goodbyes and left, slamming the door behind him.
One down, two more to go, Roper thought.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ROPER GLANCED AROUND, studying the female members of his family who gazed at him with curious eyes. Ben’s abrupt departure had left them stunned, Roper was sure.
“Obviously Ben’s upset about something. What’s going on?” Sabrina asked. She sat beside Kevin, holding his hand. At least she seemed genuinely happy.
And that, Roper thought, was what this part of his day was all about. He needed to use his sister’s happiness as the springboard to give him the courage to lay down the law with his mother-and undoubtedly hurt her in the process.
Before he could speak, a noise sounded from outside the door and suddenly Harrison entered, key card in hand. Roper raised an eyebrow but didn’t say a word. He already knew there was more to this relationship than his mother wanted to admit to her children
“You shouldn’t just barge in as if you own the place,” Cassandra chided him.
He raised an eyebrow. “Considering I gave up my own room, you can’t expect me to knock first. Hello, everyone,” Harrison said.
Roper shook the other man’s hand.
Sabrina managed a wave. From her pale face, she hadn’t known about their mother’s living arrangements, either. It seemed as if Cassandra was keeping up the pretense of not wanting to be with Harrison for no one’s benefit that Roper could figure, except maybe her own.
Cassandra scowled at him. “John was just about to say why he called us all together. It’s a family meeting so you might want to-”
“Stay,” Roper added before his mother could send the other man away. “And do not argue with me, Mom.”
Harrison grinned. “Thank you,” he said to Roper.
“No problem.”
Cassandra needed the older man more than she wanted to admit and Roper was glad she had him, especially since he, himself, intended to take back his own life. He was grateful and relieved he wouldn’t be leaving his mother alone to her own devices.
Cassandra folded her arms across her chest. “I wasn’t going to argue. If Harrison wants to pretend he’s part of this family, who am I to stop him?” She sniffed in her haughty way.
Harrison laughed and slung an arm around her shoulder. “Go on,” he said to Roper.
“Please,” Sabrina said.
Roper drew a deep breath. “Okay. Here goes. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been here when you all needed me. Twenty-four/seven, at your beck and call.”
“Well, I’m not sure I’d phrase it so callously,” his mother said, only to be silenced by Harrison squeezing her shoulder in warning.
“You’ve been a wonderful son,” she said, her voice sincere.
“Thank you.” He wasn’t fishing for compliments, just stating reality. “The thing is, that by doing everything you all wanted when you all wanted it, I’ve neglected my own life.”
“I can see that,” Sabrina said softly. “I have for a while. It’s just that old habits are hard to break.”
He smiled at his little sister. “Tell me about it.”
“So what are you trying to say?” Sabrina asked.
“That it’s time for you all to live your own lives.”
“As if we haven’t?” Cassandra asked.
The sad thing was that Roper knew she believed her words, which made what he had to say all the more difficult. “No, you haven’t. If I was in a meeting and one of you called, I dropped everything. If I was on a date and you needed me, I cut it short. Don’t get me wrong, I did it because I wanted to-”
“And you don’t anymore?” his mother asked, insulted.
He wanted to say no that, of course he wanted to, he just couldn’t do it anymore. But that would be a lie and he’d promised himself and Amy-even if she wasn’t aware of the promise-that he’d be completely honest. For everyone’s sake, including his mother.
“No, Mom, I don’t want to. I want to concentrate on my career. The time I spent at the lodge showed me the difference less stress could make on both my body and my mind.”
