Lucky Charm

“I told John what went on when I picked up Holly from you last week.”

Derek inclined his head. “I’m not sure exactly which thing you’re referring to.”

Marlene’s cheeks flushed pink. “Well, he wasn’t thrilled that I picked Holly up a day early,” she said without meeting his gaze. “John didn’t think that was fair to you. Especially with us coming home early. And then, when I told him I’d threatened to sue you for full custody and accused you of putting Gabrielle before Holly…” She twisted her hands together nervously. “John was furious,” she said, the admission obviously not an easy one for her to make.

Derek leaned forward in his seat. “Why was John upset with you?”

She laughed nervously. “He just knows me so well. And I’d promised him and myself I’d stop using Holly as a weapon against you. As you said, we’d gotten past a lot of old baggage. But last week…John accused me of being spiteful and jealous of Gabrielle. He said if knowing you were with Gabrielle bothered me, then obviously you and I have unresolved issues,” she said, gesturing between them.

Derek cocked his head to one side. “And you agree with him?”

“Yes, I do.” She let out a sigh. “This isn’t easy for me. Meeting her wasn’t easy for me. She’s always been between us, you know.”

He shook his head, denying it. “I never wanted you to feel that way.”

She shrugged. “In the beginning, I had no idea, but after my first trip to Stewart with you, I learned more about her than I ever wanted to know. It put her between us. And the harder you worked and the less time you spent at home, I felt sure it was because you wished you’d never gotten me pregnant. Never had to marry me. I always thought you wished I was Gabrielle,” Marlene admitted.

Derek was stunned. In all their years together, they’d never talked about Gabrielle. They’d never talked like this.

He met Marlene’s gaze. “I’m sorry. That was never my intention. If I could have been with Gabrielle, I would have been. I chose to marry you.”

She waved her hand through the air. “That’s all old news. But she’s in your life now and I have to come to terms with it. Just like you’ve had to come to terms with John in mine and in Holly’s.”

Derek shook his head. “She’s not in my life. I was giving her a place to stay while she was in trouble and making sure she was safe, but we’re not…We aren’t together anymore.”

Marlene narrowed her gaze. “Why the hell not?” she asked him.

He blinked at the vehemence in her tone. “Because…” He struggled for a way to explain himself that wouldn’t hurt Marlene’s feelings. He’d cared about her in a special way, and if he confessed that he couldn’t be with Gabrielle because he loved her, it would be the same as admitting he’d never been in love with Marlene.

He loved Gabrielle.

Holy-

“Derek, did you hear what I said?”

He shook his head, wishing he hadn’t heard his own thoughts.

“I said that the curse is bullshit,” Marlene said.

He raised his gaze, focusing on his usually polite ex-wife. She rarely cursed. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You might never have explained the curse or your feelings for Gabrielle to me, but other people have. And I’ve spent enough time with your father to understand the way of things with you Corwin men. You were madly in love with Gabrielle but you broke up with her rather than admit it, to spare yourself the pain involved in the curse.”

Derek opened his mouth, but when she raised her hand to stop him, he shut it again.

“Let me finish,” Marlene demanded.

“Go on.” He gestured for her to do just that.

“You married me because I was pregnant, but most important you married me because you weren’t in love with me.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to. You never told me you loved me, either.” She spoke evenly, indicating she was long over the fact he hadn’t loved her and long over him.

Which didn’t alleviate his sense of guilt or shame. “Marlene-”

She shook her head. “Let it go. I have. Or at least I thought I had until I had to face Gabrielle in the flesh. But I’m past that now. You and I have a great little girl. We did something good together.”

“That we did.” He smiled at the thought of Holly.

“But now you have a second chance to make things right with Gabrielle. Why aren’t you two together? Because you’re afraid to admit you love her and let some crazy curse kick in?” She stared at him as if he were mad.

The way he was feeling lately, she might just be right.

“Things happen in life. Divorce statistics are high. People die every day for no reason. They might get hit by a bus or a car. Others have affairs and ruin their lives. People make choices, but bad things do not happen because of a curse!” she said, her voice rising. “Sorry. But think about it.”

He rubbed his hand over his burning eyes. “It’s all I have thought about. Don’t you think Gabrielle’s said the same things to me?”

Marlene smiled. “I’m sure she has. But you obviously aren’t listening to her, so I’m asking you to listen to me. This woman has been a part of you for the past fourteen or fifteen years. She will continue to be a part of you whether or not you deny her a place in your life. So you have a choice. You can be lonely, stubborn and stupid like your father and his brothers or you can reach out and grab what you’ve always wanted.” She rose to her feet.

Derek stood, too. “I can’t stand by and lose her in some awful way.” The fire came to mind. The waiting desperately to see if Gabrielle had lived or died…only to push her out of his life hours later.

His head began to pound. So did his heart, with possibilities he’d never allowed himself to imagine. Could Gabrielle and Marlene be right?

Was it worth it to live like a shell of himself in case the curse kicked in? Or was he better off diving into those deep waters and at least enjoying whatever life gave him?

Gave them, here and now?

“Come on, Derek. Loss is a part of life. Are you any less miserable now than if you two were together and something happened later? Like I said, she’s a part of you and always has been. She always will be. The question is, what are you willing to do about it?”

He nodded, finally getting it. Finally hearing what Gabrielle had been trying to tell him for so long. “Thank you,” he said to his ex-wife.

“Thank your daughter. She’s the one who told me what a great person Gabrielle is, how happy she makes you and how she makes Holly feel as important as John does.” Marlene shrugged. “An eleven-year-old reminded me that I don’t need to feel threatened because she doesn’t. Go figure.” Marlene laughed.

Thinking of his precocious daughter, Derek grinned.

He still had more to mull over. He couldn’t just dump years of ingrained beliefs in ten minutes, but Marlene had given him a lot to digest. Gabrielle had always been a part of him. She always would be. What was he accomplishing by keeping them apart?

The answer was simple. He wasn’t accomplishing a damn thing. But did he have the courage to defy the old family curse?

GABRIELLE LOOKED AT THE invitation to Holly’s birthday party in disbelief. A smiling picture of Holly and Fred stared back at her. She was certain Derek had to know Holly had invited her to his house for a party. Certain he’d know how difficult it would be for her to attend. But knowing Holly, she’d probably bounced up and down until he’d agreed, and Derek wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint his daughter. The grown-ups would have to-well-grow up in order to make Holly happy on her twelfth birthday.

The invitation had a phone number and an e-mail for RSVPs. Gabrielle chose the easy way, shooting off an e- mail letting them know she’d be there.

One week later, she drove her freshly painted convertible back to Stewart. She pulled around behind Derek’s place and parked, then made her way out back where music floated in the hot summer air.

Since this wasn’t Holly’s main home, Gabrielle didn’t expect to find a large amount of people and she was right. Holly was hanging out with a group of girls, while a handful of adults mingled in the yard. She saw Hank and Thomas standing together, and to her surprise, Holly’s mother and a nice-looking man whom Gabrielle assumed