Secret Fantasy

Did she really have no idea? He’d been so affected by her orgasm he’d nearly come just watching. He’d never reacted so strongly to a woman before, never cared so much about someone else’s pleasure, his own be damned.

And the one thing he knew without question was the feelings crowding inside him and begging for release weren’t going to be easily controlled. “That’s not the way I remember it.”

“You’re telling me it wasn’t one-sided?”

It was time for a revelation of his own. “We both have our fantasies, Juliette.” What had he said to Merrilee? I need to know I can put a woman before myself.

At the time it had been a line to get him in the door and pair him with Juliette, though admittedly the words had held some truth. But in kissing, caressing and giving to this woman, Doug had learned-not only that it was possible to put her first physically, but that he wanted to put her first emotionally as well.

She leaned forward, ready to listen.

And he was ready to tell her. He hadn’t expected to reveal his fantasy to Juliette, but she made him want to open up and share. “I recently hurt someone I cared about. I hurt her badly. From her perspective, I was using her and I suppose she wasn’t far from wrong. So now I want to prove I can put a woman’s needs before my own.”

Curious green eyes met his. “And will just any woman do?”

“No way.” He shook his head. “And no way are you just any woman. Not to me.”

She splayed her hands on her thigh, fingering the silken material. “But you can’t deny things were one-sided. And I have to know-was it because you were using me to prove a point?”

“No more than I assume you’re using me for reasons relating to your own fantasy.” He laughed. “You are a stubborn one. Technically, yes, it was one-sided. But…” He paused deliberately.

Long enough for her curiosity to win out and for her to glance up. “But what?”

Doug leaned forward until they were inches apart. “But…” He reached for her hand. “You’ve come to mean a lot to me in a very short time. And I enjoyed watching you. And I enjoyed listening to you. Did you know you make these little sounds? Sighs, gasps, moans of pleasure?”

Her pupils dilated. A flush spread from her neck up her cheeks. Her mouth opened in a small O then closed without making a sound. Heat flooded his system and he broke into a sweat. In reassuring her, he was arousing himself all over again.

It was probably his punishment and penance. To be so close to the woman he desired and know he had to keep his distance, for her sake as well as his own. Because to make his fantasy come true-to be able to look himself in the mirror and to see he could put a woman, this woman, before himself-he couldn’t go further. Couldn’t sleep with her. Even if doing so would fulfill a fantasy of another kind, his conscience and soul were at risk. And so was his heart.

But he forced himself to concentrate on her needs. “And those sounds?” He drew both himself and her back to the point at hand.

“Yes?” The word came out a barely audible gasp.

“They turn me on.”

Juliette swallowed hard. He was doing it again, she thought, dazedly. Soothing her. Easing one kind of distress while creating a new one of an entirely different sort. He was so obviously setting out to convince her that her pleasure had been his as well.

And he was convincing. Enough to relax her and loosen her inhibitions again. To remind her that as much as he needed to prove to himself he was a decent person and could put someone else’s needs first, she’d promised herself something as well-that she’d take this one week to break free and be herself. That she’d experiment, with no constraints, problems or reporters to hinder her inhibitions.

She’d trusted Doug to give her ultimate pleasure once before. Modesty and shyness wouldn’t help either of them now. “Doug?”

“Yes?”

She grasped on to the short length of time they had left on the island-the time they had left together-and marshaled the courage she needed. “Are you still turned on?”

He sucked in a deep breath of air. The “yes” came out in a drawn-out hiss, one he couldn’t hold back, though he’d obviously tried. She’d take it as an affirmative answer.

Grasping on to the ends of the white towel, she pulled him close. She inhaled his potent, masculine scent, and her body, already on the edge, reacted. Her nipples tightened and desire coiled deep in her belly-both familiar and welcome reactions to this man.

Familiar. In a short time he’d become more familiar and endearing than her ex-fiance ever had been. Why had she been willing to settle for less? “Let me take care of you this time.”

She spoke the words at the same time she covered his mouth with her own, using the movement of her lips and the vibration of speech to make her point. To arouse him with her words and her touch, just as he’d done to her.

His hands gripped her shoulders and she felt his indecision in the way he kept the kiss light and his hold on her firm, preventing their bodies from touching intimately. Just because Juliette now knew what caused his hesitation didn’t mean she’d allow him to turn her away. Testing her feminine wiles, testing him, she teased his lips with a light flicker of her tongue.

She obviously made her point because his heartfelt groan resulted in a change-their kiss became the deepest, sweetest one she’d ever known. Juliette figured she’d made headway. And when he matched her move, dipped into her mouth with his tongue, she stopped thinking at all.

CHAPTER SIX

SWEET HEAVEN. And that’s where he was. Losing himself in her warm, wet, willing mouth once more. Warning bells were ringing hard, but he couldn’t bring himself to heed them. Doug didn’t break the kiss as his hands slid from her shoulders and around her back, settling on her waist. Barriers, even silken ones, were no longer acceptable and he lifted the flowing material so he could caress her soft skin.

She stopped him with a firm grip on his wrists. “Your turn, remember?”

Her voice broke through the haze of desire, bringing him back to reality. He didn’t want anything from her.

He swallowed a curse. He might lie to her but he wouldn’t lie to himself. He wanted anything and everything she had to give. He just couldn’t let himself take. “I told you I didn’t expect anything in return.” His voice sounded rough to his own ears.

“I know that. You gave because you wanted to, even if you were proving a point to yourself. Now I want to give back.” She drew a deep breath, one Doug knew for certain was for courage, and then placed her hand on the front placket of his jeans.

He gritted his teeth. She must have sensed his aching need because she cupped him more firmly and slid her palm down then up again in an excruciatingly slow but tantalizing movement. Certainty combined with endearing hesitancy showed in her face as she felt, tested and learned his shape and contours. His body came alive beneath her touch and he barely held himself in check.

“Are you going to deny you like that?” she asked.

He couldn’t admit or deny. Need and arousal collided inside him, fast and intense. “I think the hard evidence speaks for itself.”

She laughed, the sound light and easy, despite their serious conversation and the fact that they were both on the edge. But when she reached for the button on his jeans, Doug knew he had to call a stop. Now, before things went too far. But he also knew he’d be hurting her if he turned her away.

Although he’d explained his fantasy, she was still vulnerable and she’d never completely understand why he stopped so soon. Considering how badly he wanted her, he was having a hard time understanding it himself-and he was in possession of the facts.