Simply Sexy

and Emma.

Which meant that from the day he'd turned that incredible charm her way, he'd known he had an agenda. Her series of articles and research had taught her to understand and not jump to irrational conclusions. She could understand Colin's desperate need to save the paper from financial ruin, something else she'd been in the dark about. And when they'd first met and he didn't know her, she couldn't blame him for having an agenda that would negatively impact her.

But she couldn't understand the lingering deception. That was the hardest thing to grasp, Rina thought, and an even more difficult thing to forgive.

How could he have listened to her hopes and dreams, all the while knowing he intended to crush them, and never reveal a thing? How could he have made love to her and not tell her something so fundamentally important? And worst of all, how could he hear her revelations about her marriage, discover she'd come through one relationship where she'd lost sight of herself and her dreams, and not reveal his plans to take away hers?

Well, she thought, silence could go both ways. She'd gone out of her way to be understanding of his past, his need for emotional distance, and the fact that his desire to travel would take him away one day. But his behavior toward her was a direct slap and Rina didn't feel the need to roll over and take it lying down.

Ironically, Colin himself had provided her with her new plan and she had taken today off to update her resume and e-mail her job queries to magazine editors in New York. Thanks to the Internet, she had instant gratification by pushing the send button. Now all she needed to do was wait for replies. As much as she loved it here in Ashford, Colin was right. The opportunities were in New York.

She was going home.

'Hello?' Frankie's voice was followed by a belated knock on the door as she let herself in. 'Did you survive Christmas?' she asked. 'I saw your car downstairs and figured you called in sick in favor of sleeping in.'

'So you thought you'd wake me up instead?' Rina asked wryly.

'Ha-ha.' Frankie sat down on the living-room couch, eyeing Rina's laptop. 'Are you working from home?' she asked, concerned.

'No. I'm looking for new employment.' She shut down the computer and turned toward Frankie. 'In fact, you'll probably have a new neighbor soon.' At the notion, Rina's stomach twisted with pain and regret.

She didn't want to leave her home here or the friends she'd made. But now that she'd found herself and her calling, she couldn't give up writing and there weren't any other opportunities in the town of Ashford.

'Whoa.' Frankie shook her head. 'New neighbor? Not a chance. That's like asking me to find a new best friend. Besides, you love it here. So back up and 'splain, Lucy.'

Rina rolled her eyes. 'You've been watching I Love Lucy reruns again, haven't you?'

Frankie shrugged. 'What can I say? It's better than sleeping. Now quit avoiding the issue and take things from the beginning. Why do you need a new job?'

Rina bunched her hands into fists and explained the paper's financial situation and Colin's means of fixing the problem. 'So you see, the columnists are out, hard news is in. So I am trying to find a job in Manhattan, where the major national women's magazines are located. My resume isn't extensive, but this series of five articles is nearly finished and they make for a pretty impressive resume, if I do say so myself.'

She could fill her resume with the articles she'd written for her 'Hot Stuff' column. She still hoped the paper would run the end of the Simply Sexy series, but if not, she'd survive. At least she had an attractive package to show prospective employers.

'Earth to Rina.' Frankie waved her hand in front of Rina's eyes. 'I asked if you were really just running away from your problems with Colin.'

Rina scowled. 'I'm made of stronger stuff than that. I'm not running, I'm being smart. There's nothing left for me here, so I'm moving on.' But the tight squeeze around her heart made her realize she was lying. There was plenty she wanted here, but she had no way of making those kinds of dreams come true.

'What about Colin?' Frankie asked.

Rina glanced down at her feet before meeting Frankie's gaze. 'What about him?'

This time it was Frankie's turn to scowl. 'Don't play dumb. It doesn't become you.'

Rina let out a groan of frustration and stomped her foot for good measure. She felt a stab of pain in her heel. 'Damn.'

Frankie put a hand on Rina's shoulder, and at the comforting touch, Rina's eyes filled with tears. The first ones she'd let herself shed. 'The man didn't think twice about lying to me, so what's left for me to hang on to now?'

As she spoke, she wanted to believe that the goodness she sensed in Colin wasn't false, that he had regrets despite his agenda. But she didn't know, nor could it make any difference. They'd had an affair, by definition a short-term arrangement. She'd always assumed he'd leave, and now she was going back to New York.

'You can hang on to me, Emma, the friends you made down at the paper, to start with. And I bet Colin would be there, too, if you'd let him.'

That was the problem, Rina thought. To listen to him, to hear his side, to let him be there for her, assuming he even wanted to, would leave her vulnerable. No matter how much she loved him, and there was no denying she still did, she didn't think she could open herself up to that kind of hurt again.

She'd lost her husband and now she'd lost Colin. She'd just now found herself. She couldn't put that on the line. Especially since his departure was imminent if not guaranteed.

* * *

COLIN SAT AT HIS DESK, tapping a pencil against the old blotter. He'd never known a woman could make herself so busy she didn't have time for one conversation. Monday, Rina had called in sick. Tuesday, she'd come in, worked on her column, wearing a headset, no less. When he'd approached her at lunchtime, she'd said she had a meeting and ran out, probably knowing full well he'd be at the hospital all afternoon. Tuesday evening, she hadn't answered her phone or her doorbell, and by Wednesday morning, he was irritable.

He'd pick her up and carry her over his shoulder and into the back hall if he had to. Today he wasn't taking no for an answer.

Someone tapping on his shoulder startled him and he whipped around, annoyed. 'What the hell do you want?' he snapped.

'A minute of your time, if it isn't too much to ask.' Rina stood before him, one hand on her hip, acting as distant as his latest assignment in South America.

Now she wanted to talk? 'What can I do for you?' he asked, trying to keep things professional in front of the staff, despite his earlier thoughts of acting like an irrational caveman.

But outer calm belied his internal struggle. He wanted to take her into his arms and not just apologize but swear he'd make things right. How, he wasn't certain yet. But he damn well would. Even if she never forgave him, he still had to prove he wasn't another man who'd trampled on her needs and desires.

'I spoke to Corinne about this but she said you're handling personnel now, so I should come to you.' Her voice was cold, but her eyes betrayed both pain and what he hoped was a lingering caring beneath the cool veneer.

He wasn't certain where this conversation was headed, but at the word personnel, a distinct tingling he'd always referred to as gut instinct set off warning signals in his brain. 'About what?' he asked.

'Referrals. I've taken your advice and submitted resumes to some major magazines in New York. Some smaller ones, as well.' She shook her head in a breezy attempt at looking casual.

She failed, he thought. He saw the wounded woman beneath. But he was nowhere near as confident as he had been when this mess had started, and he wondered if he was only imagining the depth of her hurt. Because if she hurt, it meant she still cared.

She drew a deep breath. 'So if anyone calls, I'd appreciate you giving me a good reference despite all that's gone on between us personally.'

At the thought of losing her, fear shot through him. 'The hell I will,' he said, rising from his seat so he could tower over her.

'Look, Colin, you may not like what I write, but you can't deny I've done a good job at this paper. And you can't