night in his stifling childhood home. He'd disappointed the new women in his life, two amazing women who he realized had come to mean more to him than the family who'd raised him.
From the minute Ryan had walked into the house and seen the formality he'd tried to forget, he knew things wouldn't go well. Still, he'd tried to let both Sam and his parents be themselves and hoped that the adults would have learned from their past mistakes. Clearly that hadn't been the case and there were only two reasons he hadn't made good on his threat to walk out- his uncle and Zoe.
Zoe hated his family and all they stood for. He'd seen it in her eyes, her expression and he'd heard it in her tone and hurt voice, when she'd defended her parents. Yet she'd backed down and she'd done it for him.
When he heard the soft knock on his bedroom door, he thought he'd imagined it until he heard it again and the door slowly swung wide. He supposed he should have been surprised to see Zoe standing there, but he wasn't. Not when she was the answer to his dreams and prayers.
He pushed himself up in bed and crooked a finger her way.
She shut the door behind her and leaned back against it. 'You don't mind my being here?'
'Why should I?'
She shrugged. 'Sam's down the hall, for one thing.'
'After three nights I've learned the kid sleeps like the dead.'
Zoe laughed. 'Isn't that the truth. I can't remember the last time I crashed that hard.'
'You haven't slept well since you've been here, that much I know.'
She tipped her head to one side, her dark hair falling over the white satin of her robe. 'Snooping on me?'
'No more than you've been doing to me, I'm sure. These walls aren't that thick. So are you going to stand there and make small talk all night?'
She laughed and strode forward, sitting on the end of his double bed. 'Can I ask you something?'
'Of course.'
'How'd you grow up like that?'
He'd wondered the same thing himself. 'I guess I was just lucky I survived it and came out sane.'
She nodded. 'Well you were amazing tonight,' she said, taking him by surprise.
He laced his fingers behind his head and studied her. 'You expected me to let my folks get away with belittling you and being so hard on Sam?'
'Let's say I wasn't sure what to expect, but…you impressed me, Ryan.' Her voice dropped an octave when she said his name.
The desire that he'd managed to hold at bay washed over him with desperate force.
'Weren't you afraid?' she asked, pegging his deepest emotions, the ones he'd thought were so well hidden.
Obviously they weren't and he wasn't about to explain it to her from a distance. He patted the empty space next to him and without hesitating, she scooted closer, curling up beside him. Only the glow of the television provided light in the room and they lay together comfortably.
'What could I be afraid of?' he asked lightly.
She reached out and caressed his cheek. 'Losing your family the way Faith lost her family.'
He shut his eyes, unable to believe this woman understood him so well. 'My whole life I lived with this double message that always tested me. In my heart I knew what my parents did to my sister was dead wrong and the only way I could make it right was to search for her. Every birthday of mine that passed marked another year closer to finding Faith.'
'You're a good man,' she murmured, as her soft fingers stroked his skin, encouraging him to continue.
'But I also knew the consequences for stepping out of those boundaries my parents set for us kids. I could lose my family and everything that was familiar to me if I misbehaved. Toeing the line was second nature.'
Zoe leaned her head against his shoulder, her breath soft on his neck. 'Yet you became a lawyer and didn't go into the family business.'
'Only because J.T. did and because being an attorney would help me if they suddenly decreed it was time I helped run Baldwin's, too.' He'd just never faced the possibility that that day might arise.
'You became your own man,' Zoe insisted and he laughed at her determination to make him see himself the way she viewed him.
'Still, my sister no longer existed for them and I knew…heck, I
'Yet you stood up to them tonight, and you did it for Sam.'
'And for you.'
She narrowed her gaze.
'You doubt me?' he asked. 'Or do you just want to make believe what I said isn't true?'
'Why would I do that?'
'I don't know. Every time things get intense between us, you back off in some way.'
A smile teased her lips, but it wasn't a happy one, more like an acknowledgment of his words.
'Care to tell me why?' he asked.
'If you want honesty, I'll give you honesty. You're a threat to me, Ryan. An honest-to-goodness threat.'
Her admission let him know that her feelings for him ran as deeply as his did for her. The difference was, he refused to run away.
'I'm a threat? Or your own feelings are?'
She breathed in deep and he felt the tremors wracking her body. 'A little of both, I suppose.'
He narrowed his gaze, not surprised and yet confused at the same time. 'You come from an open, loving family. One that isn't afraid of expressing their feelings, good or bad. You can't possibly be afraid of falling in love.'
Love? Not yet, but the possibility wasn't completely incomprehensible. Still, he couldn't believe he'd said the word out loud.
Neither could she. Her eyes opened wide, but to her credit, she held on to her composure as she tried to explain. 'I'm thirty and I've never fallen in love. Never said the words to a man who wasn't a family member. I've watched my parents live the emotion and saw my sister fall firsthand. I've long since accepted that it isn't going to happen for me. And it definitely can't happen between two people as different as us.'
Well, he'd asked. Now he knew. And his stomach cramped as he realized how tightly she held on to her notions.
'Differences aren't always a bad thing,' he reminded her.
She shook her head and laughed. 'You're determined to make this difficult, aren't you?'
'Not at all.' He reached out and stroked her cheek. 'You're scared of feelings you never thought you'd have. Join the club, sweetheart. I'm thirty and I've never been in love. Never said the words or even thought I'd fallen hard.' And he wouldn't say them outright just yet, either. 'It's something we
She glanced down at the comforter. 'My life is at a crossroads. Surely you see that. I'm still living at home. My business, which doesn't even have a name, is barely up and running and I've already had to put it on hold to come up here.'
'To be with Sam. Who needs you. You didn't hesitate to drop everything for her and she's not even your flesh and blood. Compare that to the situation she's got waiting for her here and you're miles ahead of us.'
She laughed. 'Looks like neither of us gives ourselves enough credit.'
'So isn't it great that we've got each other cheering us on? You know you're the first woman I've ever known who's truly an individual. You have drive, direction- '
'Ryan, don't.' She shook her head and didn't meet his gaze. 'I need to resettle before I can consider myself a part of a couple or even seriously consider a relationship.'
He nodded in understanding, telling himself she hadn't completely closed herself off to the notion of
She shut her eyes and leaned back, closing him out.
But this time he wasn't unnerved by her need to pull away because he understood now that she was scared.
