sure as hell-pardon me, ma’am-wouldn’t be going through all this. Now, with all due respect, I need to talk to Lucy privately.”
Ms. Maybe-I’m-Pregnant-Maybe-I’m-Not suddenly turned wary. “Muffins first. You love muffins.”
“Lucy. Now.” He jerked his head toward the doorway.
She hadn’t finished punishing him, and she took forever getting out of her chair, looking exactly like a sulky teenager, which seemed to amuse her parents. “She used to be such a sweet girl,” her mother said to her father.
“Your influence,” he said right back to the former president.
If it hadn’t been for the baby issue, he wouldn’t have begrudged any of them their fun.
Her father wasn’t done. “Maybe you two would like to settle this in Mabel?” He made it both a question and a mandate.
The president smiled at her husband.
Panda had no idea what was happening, but Lucy seemed to understand. “I guess.” She displayed zero enthusiasm as she sauntered toward the back door.
He strode past her in what he hoped was an assertive manner, held the door open, then followed her across a stone terrace and into a backyard with well-defined gardens and mature shade trees. Lucy’s sneakers swished in the fallen leaves as she followed a brick path around what he guessed was an herb garden toward a large garage. As they got closer, she cut behind it onto a dirt path that led to an ancient yellow Winnebago. He finally remembered. This was Mabel, the motor home Lucy and Mat Jorik had traveled in all those years ago when they’d picked up Nealy Case at a Pennsylvania truck stop.
The door creaked on its rusty hinges as Lucy opened it. He stepped inside the drab, musty interior. There was a tiny kitchen; a saggy, built-in couch with faded plaid upholstery; and a door at the back that must lead to a bedroom. The small banquette table held a baseball cap, a notebook, a bottle of green nail polish, and an empty Coke can. Her siblings must use this place as a hangout.
If he asked Lucy why her mother had suggested they come here, Lucy would give him one of those looks that said he was a moron, so he didn’t ask. “This thing run?”
“Not anymore.” She plunked down on the sofa, picked up a paperback copy of
He tugged on his shirt collar. The place might be sentimental to the Joriks, but it was claustrophobic to him.
He opened his collar button. His head nearly touched the ceiling, and the walls were closing in on him. He wedged himself sideways onto the banquette bench across from her. Even from here, he could smell the fabric softener from her red pajamas, a scent that shouldn’t have been erotic but was. “I told Bree about her father,” he said.
She didn’t look up from the book. “I know. She called me.”
He stretched his cramped legs across the motor home. She turned a page. His nerves had stretched to the breaking point. “Now that you’ve had your fun, are you ready to talk seriously?”
“Not really.”
If anybody else had given him such a hard time, he’d have either walked away or punched them, but he’d hurt Lucy badly, and she deserved whatever blood she could draw. She’d drawn a lot.
He made himself accept the fact that there was no baby. She’d lied. As painful as that knowledge was, he had to accept it. He couldn’t even let himself be angry, because her lie had accomplished what he hadn’t yet worked up the courage to do. Bring them together.
With a sense of resignation, he gave her the ammunition she needed to attack. “You won’t like this, but at the time, I really did think I was doing the right thing by breaking it off with you.”
She slammed the book shut, her icy reserve shattered. “I’m sure you did. No need to ask Lucy what she thought about the situation. No need to give her a vote or a voice. Go ahead and make all the decisions for the little woman yourself.”
“I didn’t exactly see it like that at the time, but I get your point.”
“Is that how this partnership is going to work?
“No. And there’s definitely going to be a partnership.” He suddenly felt steadier than he could ever remember. If he needed proof of his new stability, all he had to do was remember the exhilaration he’d felt when Lucy had called to tell him she was pregnant. He’d experienced no fear, no doubts at all. Knowing she’d lied was a blow, but he’d fix that the first chance he got by making her well and truly pregnant.
“You took away my power, Panda. Instead of laying out all the pros and cons and asking for my opinion, you cut me out of the discussion. You treated me like a child.”
Even in pajamas with every button fastened, she didn’t look anything like a child, but he couldn’t start thinking about what was under that red flannel or he’d lose his focus. “I’ve learned a lot since then.”
“Is that so?” Real tears glistened in her eyes. “Then why didn’t you come to see me? Why did I have to be the one to call you?”
He wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go, but he couldn’t do that yet. Maybe never if he didn’t get this right.
He squeezed off the bench and crouched in front of her. “I was working up my nerve to see you. I told you the biggest lie of my life when I said I didn’t love you, but I was scared to death I’d hurt you. Things have changed since then. I’ve stopped being afraid of loving you. Now go ahead and yell at me.”
She sniffed at the offense. “I never yell.”
He was too smart to point out the fallacy of that statement. “I’m glad, because you’re not going to like this next part.” He tried and failed to find a more comfortable position. “Leaving you was hell, but as it turned out, it was the best thing I could have done for myself-for both of us-because I finally had something at stake that was bigger than worrying about all my symptoms coming back.” A branch tapped the roof of the motor home. “I figured out that, at some level, I believed I deserved to suffer. I lived, and a lot of my buddies didn’t. Once I understood that, other things became clear, and for the first time, I started to believe in possibilities instead of inevitability.”
He could see the last of her defenses beginning to melt, but she still had some struggle left. “I would never have put you through what you’ve put me through.”
She was kind of doing that now, but since she’d only begun torturing him yesterday and he’d been putting her through hell for months, he couldn’t complain. “I know, sweetheart.” He took her cold hands. “You can’t imagine how miserable I’ve been without you.”
That made her happier. “You have?”
He rubbed his thumbs into her palms. “I need you, Lucy. I love you, and I need you.”
She thought that over. “You do know, don’t you, that you’re on your knees.”
He smiled. “Yes, I do know that. And while I’m down here…” His smile faded as his collar started choking him again. “Luce, please marry me. I promise to love you and cherish you and respect you. I’ll laugh with you and make love with you and honor you with every breath I take. I know we’ll argue, but in the end it won’t matter because I’d give up my life for you.” Now he was sweating bullets. “Damn, I’ve never done this before…”
She cocked her head. “What about protecting me? That’s what you do best, so why aren’t you promising that, too?”
He couldn’t take it anymore, and he yanked off his necktie. “About that…” He loosened another collar button. “I… can’t figure out exactly how to say this.”
She waited, giving him time, her eyes so tender that the words came out more easily than he expected. “You’re my safe harbor. You don’t need protecting half as much as I do, so how about you take over that job for a while?”
She stroked his hair, her fingers like feathers, her eyes giving him the world. “I’ll do my best.”
“What about the rest?” he said, his voice unsteady as his life hung in the balance. “Are you tough enough to marry me?”
She brushed her fingertips along his cheek. “Tougher than you can imagine.”
His relief was so intense he felt dizzy, but he gradually steadied as she murmured her own love back to him.
