Under the Boardwalk

The monkey had won a starring role on Broadway in Doctor Dolittle. Spank was destined for stardom.

“Knock knock.” Zoe peeked into the doorway. “Care for company?”

“Sure.”

Although she and Zoe had talked often, there was still a wariness on Zoe’s part, as if she didn’t quite trust in their sisterly bond. Only time would undo the rift that Ari had created. Wanting to breach the chasm was part of the reason she didn’t want to leave just yet. The other part was Quinn, the man she’d turned away yet couldn’t stop thinking about, day and night.

Zoe sat on her bed and crossed her legs, eyeing Ari with a grin on her face. “I like the skirt.”

Ari glanced down at the black mini. “Oops. I forgot to return it,” she said, caught at stealing her sister’s clothes.

“Reminds me of when we were younger.”

Zoe laughed while Ari was suddenly trapped in a time warp. “We did share clothing, didn’t we?” And not the prissy tops and trousers Ari had been favoring for too long now.

Her twin nodded. “For a while we shared everything. Until you put up a wall and pulled away from the family.”

Ari swallowed hard. “I hated that our family was so different from everyone else’s,” she admitted. “I wanted to blend in and not stand out, and to me that started with the way I dressed.”

“It wasn’t… isn’t just the clothes. It was the attitude. You changed. You condemned us and our choices. And as a kid, I could understand it more than I did over the last few years.”

Ari nodded. “I wish I could say it wasn’t intentional.” She settled in beside her sister. “But in the beginning I wanted to create distance and later it had become a habit. If I told myself I didn’t understand you, then I couldn’t be like you.” She sighed.

“There’s nothing wrong with embracing individuality,” Zoe said. “For you or for me. But that overwhelming need not to be one of us…” She shook her head. “That I never understood.”

Looking back, Ari couldn’t comprehend it either. “What started out as adolescent embarrassment ended up changing me.” She held her hands out in front of her, trying to explain and apologize at the same time. “And then the disastrous affair with Jeffrey just topped it all off and I needed to get away.”

“And now you’re going back.” Zoe pointed across the room to the fully packed suitcases that lay open on the floor.

“I have this semester and next to finish.” But the excuse sounded lame to Ari’s ears. Yes, she had a job and a commitment, but many teachers took unexpected leaves and the school and the students survived. In her case, the substitute was a talented young professor seeking tenure. She’d be happy to take over and finish Ari’s class.

She blinked. What was she thinking?

“Do you enjoy teaching?” Zoe asked.

“I love it. I really do, but-”

Zoe nudged her leg. “But what?” she prompted, a knowing smile on her lips. “But you enjoyed the excitement here, too?”

Ari laughed, almost reluctant to admit her twin had a point. “Yeah. I did.”

“I thought so, especially after I heard how you pulled off the ultimate Costas con.”

As Quinn had predicted, pride suffused Zoe’s voice, but all Ari could think about was her twin’s choice of words. “What do you mean I pulled off a con?” Her throat seemed to close as she spoke the word.

“When they released me from protective custody, Marco said Quinn had raved about how you’d distracted Damon with your rendition of The In-Laws.” Her eyes glittered with amused laughter. “Dropping to your knees, crying, howling, begging for your life, all so Quinn could catch Damon off guard. And all without being preplanned.”

Ari felt herself blush, a heat rising to her cheeks as her federal-agent sister went on about her amateurish attempt at saving the day. “It was a gamble. A gimmick. All I could think of on the spur of the moment.”

“That’s right. You thought on your feet and you did it just like any Costas would. You pulled off the ultimate con on that dirtbag Damon. After all the bimbos he dated, the man finally got his comeuppance by a woman. It’s sweet justice.” Zoe grinned. “But for you, it was absolute proof.”

“Of?” Ari asked, but she had a hunch she already knew.

“That you’re one of us,” Zoe said. “It’s in your blood, it’s in your genes, but most of all it’s in your heart.” She spoke the words Ari had already accepted that night in the kitchen.

Reaching over, Zoe pulled her into a warm hug. “Welcome home, Ari.”

Ari’s eyes filled with tears and she embraced her sister in return.

“Marco said Quinn had to be damn quick on his feet to get what you were doing.” Zoe eased back, still not finished regaling Ari with Marco’s version of events. “Either that or you two must have had some kind of mental telepathy or connection.” Her twin’s voice trailed off as the truth obviously dawned. “So what exactly is going on between the two of you?”

“Nothing,” Ari said. “Not anymore.”

Zoe narrowed her gaze. “But something did. I knew it the second I saw you two at the safe house. If he did anything to hurt you, I’m going to kill him,” she said, and from her protective tone, Ari knew she meant it.

“Quinn’s a good guy. He’s been through a lot in his life and he deserves someone who’ll be there for him.”

“And you won’t?” Zoe scoffed at the notion. “I can tell you that even if you finish the semester in Vermont, you’ll be back.”

“What makes you say that?” Ari asked, but a smile tugged at her lips. The thought of coming home for good opened the vise around her heart and she breathed easier.

Zoe rolled her eyes. “Didn’t we just cover all that? You’re one of us. You can’t go back to that boring life in Vermont anymore than you can button up your collars again.” She pointed to Ari’s lace camisole, which she’d sneaked out of Zoe’s drawer to pair with her already pilfered miniskirt.

“I’ve been telling myself that I don’t know who I am. But I do,” Ari said softly. “It’s just so hard to admit it out loud.”

“Why?” Zoe asked.

“Because it means I lost five years of my life living in Vermont, away from you, from Mom, Dad, and the rest of the family.” Admitting her faults wasn’t easy but it was the first step toward making her way back.

“It helped you grow. It helped us grow and change and come to understand you better, too,” her sister said. “And now it’s in the past, right?” Zoe looked anxious as she awaited an answer.

“Right,” Ari said. “I really did have some good times in Vermont and met some good people and friends. It just isn’t right for me anymore. It hasn’t been for some time.” She’d just been too stubborn, too entrenched in the conservative world she’d created for herself to admit it.

“It took my missing-person stunt to prove to you what you knew all along. In here.” Zoe tapped her chest, right above her heart. “But I’m so sorry about the pain I caused all of you.”

Ari nodded. “I know. And you can stop apologizing for it.”

“Now that you’re facing your family and your past, I have one more question for you,” Zoe said.

Ari shrugged. “Might as well get it over with all at once, so shoot,” she said, laughing.

Zoe sobered as she said, “You wasted five years away from your family. How many are you going to waste away from Quinn? The man you obviously love?”

As Ari glanced at her twin and contemplated the question, she wasn’t laughing anymore. Because Zoe was right. She did love Quinn and had for some time. Voicing the truth she’d been fighting made her light-headed and giddy.

She loved him.

She loved his tough-guy exterior and the softness inside he didn’t let many people see. She loved the way he’d created his own family out of Connor and Sam, all the while denying he had anyone in his life he cared about or who cared for him. And she loved how he’d put her before his job, first by admitting her sister was alive and then by taking her to the safe house and risking his career. But she hadn’t repaid him well.

Quinn Donovan was a man with a difficult history behind him, and one who didn’t trust or give of himself easily. He’d given Ari his heart, but not once had she admitted she felt the same. She’d pushed him away, the fear of finding and accepting herself too overwhelming.