Without losing a beat, he shut the Tiffany box and slipped it back in his pocket. 'All right. We don't have to get married. It was just a suggestion.'
She stared at him. Seconds ticked by. He lifted a forkful of chicken to his mouth and slowly began to chew.
'Is that it?' she asked.
'I can't exactly force you.'
Anger and hurt rose up so far inside her she thought she would choke. 'That's all, then? I say no, and
you pick up your toys and go home?'
He took a sip of his club soda, the expression in his eyes as abstract as the silver earrings at her lobes. 'What do you want me to do? The waiters would throw me out if I got down on my knees.'
His sarcasm in the face of something so important to her was like a knife through her ribs. 'Don't you know how to fight for anything you want?' she whispered fiercely.
The silence that came over him was so complete that she knew she had hit a raw nerve. Suddenly she
felt as if the scales had dropped from her eyes. That was it. That was what Skeet had been trying to
tell her.
'Who said I wanted you? You take everything too seriously, Francie.'
He was lying to her, lying to himself. She felt his need as much as she felt her own. He wanted her, but he didn't know how to get her and, more important, he wasn't even going to try. What did she expect,
she asked herself bitter'y, from a man who had played some of the best opening rounds in tournament golf, but who always fell apart at the end?
'Are you going to have room for dessert, Francie? They got this chocolate thing. If you ask me, it could use a couple dabs of Cool Whip on the top, but it's still pretty good.'
She felt a scorn for him that bordered on real dislike. Her love now seemed to be an oppressively heavy weight, too much for her to carry. Reaching over the table, she grabbed his wrist and squeezed it until
her fingernails had dug into his skin and she was sure he knew for certain that he needed to listen to
every word she had to say. Her words were low and condemning, the words of a fighter. 'Are you so afraid of failing that you can't go after one single thing you want? A tournament? Your son? Me? Is that what's been holding you back all this time? You're so afraid of failing that you won't even try?'
'I don't know what you're talking about.' He attempted to pull his hand away, but her grip was so tight
he couldn't do it without drawing attention to them.
'You haven't even gotten out of the starting blocks, have you, Dallie? You just hang out on the sidelines. You're willing to play the game as long as you don't have to sweat too much and as long as you can make enough wisecracks so everybody understands you don't really care.'
'That's the stupidest-'
'But you do care, don't you? You want to win so much you can bloody well taste it. You want your son, too, but you're holding yourself back from him just in case Teddy won't have you-my wonderful little boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and would give anything in the world for a father who respected him.'
Dallie's face had paled, and his skin beneath her fingers was clammy. 'I respect him,' he said sharply.
'As long as I live, I'll never forget that day he came after me because he thought I was hurting you-'
'You're a whiner, Dallie-but you do it with so much style that everybody lets you get away with it.'
She released her grip, but she didn't let up on him. 'Well, the act's wearing thin. You're getting too old
to keep slipping by on your good looks and charm.'
'What the hell do you know about it?' His voice was quiet, slightly hoarse.
'I know everything about it because I started out with some of those same handicaps. But I grew up,
and I kicked my bloody life in the tail until it did what I wanted.'
'Maybe it was easier for you,' he retorted. 'Maybe you had a few breaks thrown your way. I was on
my own when I was fifteen. While you were taking walks in Hyde Park with your nanny, I was dodging my old man's fists. When I was real little, you know what he used to do to me when he got drunk? He used to turn me upside down and hold my head underwater in the toilet.'
Her face didn't soften with even a moment's sympathy. 'Tough shit.'
She saw that her coldness had infuriated him, but she didn't let up. Her pity wasn't going to help him. At some point people either had to throw off the wounds of their childhood or go through life permanently crippled. 'If you want to play games with yourself, that's your choice, but don't play them with me, because I'll bloody well call your bluff.' She rose from the booth and then stared down at him, her voice frigid with scorn. 'I've decided to marry you.'
'Forget it,' he said, cold with fury. 'I don't want you. I wouldn't take you if you were gift wrapped.'
'Oh, you want me all right. And it's not just because of Teddy. You want me so badly it scares you. But you're afraid to fight. You're afraid to put anything on the line for fear your head's going to get dunked in that toilet again.' She leaned forward slightly, resting one hand on the table. 'I've decided to marry you, Dallie.' She gave him a long, cool look of appraisal. 'I'll marry you the day you win the United States Classic.'
'That's the stupidest-'
'But you have to win it, you bastard,' she hissed. 'Not third place, not second place-first place.'
He gave her a scornful, shaky laugh. 'You're crazy.'
'I want to know what you're made of,' she said contemptuously. 'I want to know if you're good enough for me- good enough for Teddy. I haven't settled for second rate in a long time, and I'm not going to start now.'
'You've got a mighty high opinion of what you're worth.'
She threw her napkin straight at his chest. 'You bet I do. If you want me, you'll have to earn me. And, mister, I don't come cheap.'
'Francie-'
'You lay that first-place trophy at my feet, you bloody son of a bitch, or don't bother to come near me again!'
Grabbing her purse, she swept past the startled diners at the front tables and dashed out the door. The night had grown cold, but her anger burned so hot that she didn't feel the chill. Stalking down the sidewalk, she was propelled by fury, by hurt, and by fear. Her eyes stung and she couldn't blink them rapidly enough to hold off the tears. Two glistening drops beaded on the waterproof mascara that
coated her bottom lashes. How could she have fallen in love with him? How could she have let such an absurd thing happen? Her teeth began to chatter. For almost eleven years, she had felt nothing more than strong affection for a handful of men, shadows of love that faded nearly as quickly as they appeared. But now, just when her life was coming together, she had once again let a second-rate golf pro break her heart.
Francesca passed through the next week with the feeling that something bright and wonderful had slipped from her life forever. What had she done? Why had she challenged him so cruelly? Wasn't half a pie better than none? But she knew she couldn't live with half of anything, and she didn't want Teddy to live that way either. Dallie had to start taking risks, or he would be useless to them both-a will-o'-the-wisp neither of them could ever count on. With every breath she took, she mourned the loss of her lover, the loss of love itself.
The following Monday as she poured Teddy a glass of orange juice before he left for school, she tried to find consolation in the thought that Dallie was as miserable as she. But she had trouble believing that anyone who kept his emotions so carefully protected could have feelings that ran all that deep.
Teddy drank his juice and then stuffed his spelling book into his backpack. 'I forgot to tell you. Holly Grace called last night and told me to tell you that Dallie's playing in the U.S. Classic tomorrow.'
Francesca's head shot up from the glass of juice she had started to pour for herself. 'Are you sure?'
'That's what she said. I don't see what the big deal is, though. He'll only blow it. And, Mom, if you
get a letter from Miss Pearson, don't pay any attention.'
The pitcher of orange juice remained suspended in midair over Francesca's glass. She shut her eyes
for a moment, willing her mind away from Dallie Beaudine so she could concentrate on what Teddy
was trying to tell her. 'What kind of letter?'
Teddy fastened the zipper on his backpack, working with single-minded concentration so he wouldn't have to look up at her. 'You might get a letter saying I'm not working up to my potential-'
