Dream A Little Dream

'I don't know yet, but I'm looking. He obviously has to be unmarried and intelligent. And sensitive.' She emphasized the last word, so that he'd understand this was a quality he'd never possess in a thousand years.

He bristled like a porcupine. 'I can't believe you're ready to throw away a lifetime of propriety for a few carnal thrills.'

, He was sounding stuffier by the minute. 'What's propriety gotten me? I have nothing that's important to me. No husband, no children. I don't even have a job I like.'

'You don't like your job?' He sounded both hurt and mystified.

'No, Ethan. I don't like it.'

'Why didn't you ever say anything?'

'Because I've been a wimp. It was safer for me to be depressed about my life than make changes.'

'Then why did you stay all these years?'

That was one question she couldn't answer honestly. He probably knew anyway that she'd stayed because she was in love with him. 'Fear of change. But I'm not afraid any longer.'

'Rachel is responsible for this, isn't she?'

'Why do you dislike her so much?'

'Because she's taking advantage of Gabe.'

Kristy didn't believe that at all, but Ethan was in no frame of mind to listen to reason. 'You're right. Rachel is responsible because she's given me courage. I've never met a woman I admire more. She's living her life on the edge of catastrophe, but she never complains, and she works harder than anyone I know.'

'Gabe's made it easy for her. He's given her a job and a car. He lets her stay in Annie's cottage and pays for Edward's day care.'

'That's confidential. And Rachel has given Gabe a hundred times what he's given her. It's as if he's come alive since she's been here. He even laughs sometimes.'

'His grieving has run its course, that's all. It has nothing to do with her. Nothing!'

Arguing about this with him was hopeless. For some reason, he was determined to be blind and stubborn when it came to Rachel.

His mouth set in a stubborn line. 'I'd appreciate it if you'd at least give me the courtesy of two weeks' notice instead of leaving me in the lurch.'

He had a point. Quitting like that hadn't been right, no matter what he'd done. She thought about how difficult it would be seeing him every day for the next two weeks. Still, she'd been doing it for eight years. What difference would another two weeks make? And it would be nice to have a paycheck while she looked for a new job. 'All right. But only if you keep your nose out of my private life. And my wardrobe.'

'I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Kristy. It was the shock of seeing you look so different.'

She rose from the table. 'I'm chilly. I'm going back inside now.'

'I wish you wouldn't do that.'

'Forget the two weeks' notice.'

'All right. Sorry. Go on in. You can sit with Gabe and me.'

'No. I want to dance.'

'I'll dance with you.'

'That'll be a big treat.' Obviously he thought the only way he could save her from sin was to force himself to dance with her.

'Why are you being so difficult?'

'Because I like it!' Her heart pounded. She was never rude, but she couldn't seem to help it, and the words kept rushing out. 'Because I'm tired of twisting my own life in ten directions just to make things easier for other people.'

'You mean easier for me.'

'I don't want to talk any more.'

She brushed past him and headed for the Mountaineer, even though all she wanted now was to go home and be alone.

As Ethan watched her disappear, guilt swamped him even as he told himself he had nothing to feel guilty for. 'You have a wonderful life!' he called after her. 'You have the respect of everyone in the community!'

'Well now, isn't that something cozy to cuddle up with on a cold winter night.' As she shot the words back over her shoulder, she stepped into a pool of light from the street lamp. It defined her figure in a way that made his palms sweat.

The entire world had gone crazy, he decided. Right before his eyes, Kristy Brown had turned into a babe. As the light washed over her, her dark hair seemed to have fireflies dancing in it. She wasn't beautiful; her features were too ordinary for that. Although they were pretty, they were hardly exceptional. Instead, she was… sexy.

It bothered him to think of Kristy as sexy. There was something unnatural about it, like throwing lascivious glances at a sister. But ever since Tuesday morning he'd been thinking about those breasts.

Pig, Oprah said. There's a lot more to Kristy Brown than big breasts.

I know that! he shot back. It was the whole package: the small waist and rounded hips, the slender legs, that flighty hairstyle, and a new vulnerability-maybe that was the sexiest thing of all. Kristy no longer seemed so supremely competent, but like an ordinary person who had the same insecurities as everyone else.

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and tried to figure out why he was so upset by the changes in her. Because he was losing a darned good secretary, that was why.

Wrong, Oprah said. You are so wrong.

All right! There was too much truth in what Kristy had said tonight. He did regard her as one of his oldest friends, but until now, he hadn't realized how selfish that friendship had been.

She was right. Everything had been one-sided. He knew the events of her life, but nothing more. He didn't know how she spent her spare time, what made her happy, what made her sad. He tried to recall what she liked to eat, but all he could remember was the way she made sure there was always a supply of spicy brown mustard in the church refrigerator for his sandwiches.

When he thought of Kristy, he thought of a…

He flinched.

He thought of an efficient doormat. Always there, always willing to extend herself to help out. Never demanding anything for herself, only for others.

He stared off into the night. What a phony he was, calling himself a minister. This was one more example of his flawed character and why he needed to find another profession.

Kristy was a good person, a good friend, and he'd hurt her. That meant he had to make amends. And he only had two weeks to do it before she would disappear from his life.

14

The next afternoon Gabe pried open the lid of the KFC bucket and extended it toward Rachel. They were sitting in their favorite place to take a lunch break, by the concrete turtle on the playground, with the big white screen looming above them offering shade from the midday sun.

Nine days had passed since that rainy afternoon they'd made love. The drive-in was opening a week from tonight, but instead of concentrating on that, all he'd been able to think about was having that sweet body underneath him again. Except she wasn't cooperating. First there'd been her hang-up about her period, something he was certain he could have overcome. But he hadn't pressed because he knew the money problem loomed in her mind, and he wanted her to realize how ridiculous that was.

His patience, however, had run out. There were only so many days he could spend watching those old cotton housedresses shape themselves around her body whenever a breeze swept through the lot, so he was making his