This Heart Of Mine

'Oh, Liam, I love you so. The two of us… an atelier in the Sixth Arrondissement owned by an old lady in ancient Chanel suits. You and your genius and your wonderful, wonderful body. And me and my quilts. And wine and paint and Paris.'

'They're yours.' He laughed his great lusty laugh and soaped her breasts. 'Did I remember to say that I love you?'

'You did.' She smiled the depth of her feelings into those dark, intense eyes. 'I'll hang a set of wind chimes under the eaves.'

'Which will keep me awake, so I'll have to make love to you all night.'

'I do love wind chimes.'

'And I do love you.'

With a sense of detachment Kevin watched the indicator on the Ferrari's speedometer climb. Eighty-seven… eighty-eight. He shot west on the tollway past the last of Chicago's suburbs. He'd drive all the way to Iowa if he had to, anything to make this restlessness go away so he could concentrate on what was important.

Training camp started tomorrow morning. He'd drive until then.

He needed to feel the speed. The sizzle of danger. Ninety… ninety- one.

Next to him the divorce papers that had arrived that morning from Molly's lawyer slid off the seat. Why hadn't she talked to him before she'd done this? He tried to steady himself by remembering what was important.

He had only five or six good years left…

Playing for the Stars was all that counted…

He couldn't afford the distraction of a high-maintenance woman…

On and on he went, until he was so tired of listening to himself that he pressed the accelerator harder.

It had been one month and four days since he'd seen Molly, so he couldn't blame her for the fact that he hadn't stepped up his workouts as he'd planned or watched all the game film he'd intended to. Instead, he'd gone rock climbing, run some white water, done a little paragliding. But none of it satisfied him.

The only time he'd felt remotely content was when he'd talked to Lilly and Liam a few days ago. They'd both sounded so happy.

The wheel vibrated beneath his hand, but he'd felt a bigger rush going cliff diving with Molly.

Ninety-five. Or what about the day she'd flipped the canoe? Ninety- six. Or when he'd climbed the tree after Marmie? Ninety-seven. Or just watching the mischief flash in her eyes.

And when they'd made love. That had been the rush of a lifetime.

Now all the fun was gone. He'd gotten more thrills riding a bike at the campground with Molly at his side than he was getting going ninety-eight in a Ferrari Spider.

Sweat trickled under his arms. If he blew a tire right now, he'd never see her again, never have a chance to tell her she'd been right about him all along. He was exactly as afraid as she'd said.

He'd fallen in love with her.

Just like that the empty spaces inside him filled up, and he took his foot off the accelerator. As he sagged back in the seat, he felt as if his chest had caved in. Lilly had tried to tell him and so had Jane Bonner, but he hadn't let himself listen. Molly was right. He'd secretly believed he couldn't measure up as a person in the same way he measured up as a player, so he hadn't tried. But he was way too old to keep living his life underneath leftover shadows.

He slipped into the right lane. For the first time in months he felt calm. She'd told him she loved him, and now he knew exactly what that meant. He also understood what he had to do. And this time he intended to do it right.

Half an hour later he rang the Calebows' doorbell. Andrew answered wearing jeans and an orange inner tube. 'Kevin! Do you want to go swimming with me?'

'Sorry, buddy, can't do it today.' Kevin slipped past him. 'I need to see your mom and dad.'

'I don't know where Dad is, but Mom's in her office.'

'Thanks.' He ruffled Andrew's hair and made his way through the house to the office in the back. The door was open, but he knocked just the same. 'Phoebe?'

She turned and stared at him.

'Sorry for barging in like this, but I need to talk to you.'

'Oh?' She kicked back in her chair and extended her chorus-girl legs-longer than Molly's but not nearly as enticing. She wore white shorts and pink plastic sandals printed with purple dinosaurs. Despite that, she looked more formidable than God, and when it came to the world of the Stars, she was just as powerful.

'It's about Molly.'

For a moment, he thought he saw speculation in her expression. 'What about her?'

He stepped into the room and waited for an invitation to sit down. It didn't come.

There was no way to ease into this, and no reason he should. 'I want to marry her. For real. And I want your blessing.'

He didn't get the smile he expected. 'Why the change of heart?'

'Because I love her, and I want to be part of her life forever.'

'I see.'

She had a perfect poker face. Maybe she didn't know the way Molly felt about him. It would have been just like Molly to try to protect him by hiding her feelings from her sister. 'She loves me.'

Phoebe didn't look impressed.

He tried again. 'I'm fairly sure she's going to be happy about this.'

'Oh, I'm sure she will be. At first anyway.'

The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees. 'What do you mean by that?'

She rose from the desk, looking much tougher than someone wearing plastic dinosaur sandals should. 'You know we want a real marriage for Molly.'

'So do I. That's why I'm here.'

'A husband who'll put her first.'

'That's what she's going to get.'

'The tiger's changing his stripes awfully quickly.'

He didn't pretend not to know what she meant. 'I'll admit it's taken me a while to figure out that my life needs to be about more than playing football, but falling in love with Molly has readjusted my viewpoint.'

Her expression of cool skepticism as she came around the side of the desk wasn't encouraging. 'What about the future? Everyone knows how you feel about the team. You once told Dan that you'd like to coach after you retire as a player, and he got the idea you eventually want to move into the front office. Do you still feel that way?'

He wasn't going to lie. 'Putting the game into perspective doesn't mean I want to throw it away.'

'No, I don't imagine it does.' She crossed her arms. 'Let's be honest-is it Molly you want or is it the Stars?'

Everything inside him went still. 'I hope you don't mean what I think you do.'

'Marrying into the family on a permanent basis seems like an efficient way to make sure you eventually get to the front office.'

The chill that crept through him went all the way to his bones. 'I said I wanted your blessing. I didn't say I needed it.' He began to walk away, only to have Phoebe's next words slap him from behind.

'If you go near her again, you can kiss the Stars goodbye.'

He turned, not believing what he heard.

Her eyes were cold and determined. 'I mean it, Kevin. My sister's been hurt enough, and I won't let you use her to fulfill your long-term plans. Stay away from her. You can have the team or you can have Molly, but you can't have both.'