At the thought of that, my cheeks burn like they’re on fire. I hold my palms up against them, hoping Oliver hasn’t noticed.
“Ah, now I’ve embarrassed you,” he says. “All right, then. You are not amazing. You’re perfectly ordinary. Run-of-the-mill. Completely dismissible.”
“Shut up,” I say, but I’m smiling. “I want to try an experiment. Have you got your dagger?”
“Of course,” Oliver replies. He draws it from its sheath. “Why?”
“Draw a picture of me. On the rock wall.”
He blinks. “Right now?”

“No, next Thursday.”
“Oh, good.” Oliver starts to put the dagger away.
“I was joking! Of
Is it my imagination, or does he look a little green? “Right,” Oliver mutters. “A portrait.” He poises the tip of the knife over the granite. “Of you.” He steps forward, blocking my view as he begins to etch on the rock. Twice, he looks over his shoulder to peer at my face.
I think of all the beautiful paintings hanging in museums around the world-muses captured on canvas: the Mona Lisa, the birth of Venus, the girl with a pearl earring. “Voila,” Oliver declares, and he steps aside.
Carved onto the rock wall is a disproportionate figure with bug eyes, snake hair, and a flat line of a mouth. Apparently, to Oliver, I look like a Muppet.
“Not bad, eh?” he says. “Although, I don’t think I
No wonder; he’s drawn it as a triangle.
I hesitate. “No offense, Oliver, but you might not be the ideal choice to paint a picture of my room.”
He frowns at the portrait he’s drawn of me, and then smiles. “Perhaps not,” Oliver says, “but I know just the fellow who is.”

page 31
Prince Oliver dreamed that one of the mermaids was still kissing him. He was fighting to pull away from her, struggling to breathe-and then he opened his eyes. No mermaid was kissing him, just Frump, licking his face as Socks whinnied and stamped his foot a few feet away. Oliver sat up, damp and bedraggled, on the ocean shore. He had no recollection of the mermaids bringing him to the surface, and he might have considered it all a nightmare, except for the fact that in one hand he was clutching his compass, and in the other he was holding a sack that contained the flotsam and jetsam the mermaids had claimed to be treasures.
One hour into their journey, Oliver and his faithful entourage reached the River of Regret, a mile-wide whitewater fury that had claimed the lives of many who’d tried to cross it. The only hope for passage was the Bridge of Trolls, which-it had to be said-was nearly as perilous.
It is a well-known fact that trolls either
Oliver dismounted, patted Frump on the head, and walked to the edge of the cliff. He could see three small, squat men shuffling about with hammers and nails on the far side. One of the bridges appeared rickety and weak; the other was strongly fashioned-but Oliver knew that looks could be deceiving.
“Helloooo?” Oliver called, but the trolls continued working, unable to hear him over the roar of the water.
Oliver turned and dug the megaphone from the mermaids’ treasure collection out of his rucksack. “Helloooo!” he yelled again, and this time the trolls all looked up. “My good men,” Oliver said. “Which bridge should I use to cross?”
The first troll, Biggle, glanced up. When he spoke, Oliver had no trouble hearing him; trolls were known to talk in decibel levels that could shake the Earth. “Why, what have we got here? Some fancy man with his fancy horse, and what’s that? A big rat or somethin’?” Biggle stroked his long gray beard.
“Sir, I do see you’re working quite hard,” Oliver said with a smile. “I would greatly appreciate your advice.”
Snort and Trogg, the remaining trolls, started to laugh, grunting and holding their bellies. “Ye can only ask one of us to choose for you,” said Trogg, the chubby one. “Make yer pick.”
Oliver thought about this. If trolls
Biggle replied, but at that moment, the water between them roared, so that Oliver could not make out the answer.
Snort cupped his hands near his mouth. “He said he always tells the truth!”
“No, he didn’t,” called Trogg. “He said he was a liar.”
Oliver glanced from each hideous face to the next. Biggle, he realized, must have said he was truthful. This would have been his response if he
Which meant that Snort’s statement
In other words-
“You!” Oliver said, pointing to the short troll in the middle. “Which bridge?”
“This one,” Snort proudly answered, pointing to the rickety bridge.
Oliver mounted his stallion again and, without a moment’s hesitation, crossed the bridge Snort had indicated.
“That’ll be a guinea,” Biggle grunted.
Oliver patted down his pockets and saddlebags, but all his spare change had fallen into the ocean when he was with the mermaids.
The mermaids.
The trolls advanced, menacing, ready to pound him into the dirt.
“Gentlemen,” he said, “do you know what’s more precious than gold? True love.”
“We’re trolls,” said Trogg. “Or hadn’t you noticed?”
“I happen to know three lovely ladies who could overlook that fact,” Oliver said.
“Honestly?” asked Snort.
Oliver grinned. “I always tell the truth,” he said.
OLIVER
“BEDSPREAD,” DELILAH SAYS.
“Um… pink.”
“Good. Number of stuffed animals on the bed?”
“Three.”
“Excellent. What are they?”
I close my eyes, trying to remember. “A pig, a bear wearing a strange little shirt, and a duck with quite a sassy look on its face.”
“And the book?”
“Purple leather, with gold lettering that reads
It’s odd to think of my story as a physical entity, because obviously I’ve never seen the outside of the tome in