“Rolph, don't. It's just a stupid joke Karina. He's going to tell you that you're full of shit or something equally stupid. Then tell you that you have been getting the same education he has, if with less math and what Varley is getting is mainly so when she ends up the Countess whatever or even a Duchess, she can be of value to her husband and her people. What are they teaching you?” The question was a good one, she'd mentioned it to him once, how different her classes were than the others.
“Um, history, geography, fighting, useless stuff to keep me busy while everyone else learns about money and useful things like that. And I take notes for the Counts Council. Endless gods awful notes. My hand aches right this moment from it.” As if to prove her point she rubbed her right hand pitifully and a little girl sad face by pursing her lips just a little, holding it out so Tor could see.
It came to him in a flash, a deep thing that he didn't really understand, but it was right. The feeling was there, the sense of wholeness, a real plan, not just happenstance.
Tor started crying.
It looked weak and stupid, but he didn't hide it. She needed to see that he cared. That was more important than his ego. Wasn't it? Finally she asked him what was wrong, looking perplexed.
“Don't you see? Gods it's so unfair… Rolph, Alphonse, has been trained to be a King during a time of peace. You're being trained… to take his place when everything else is lost, and all that's left is war. Then Varley, you'll need her to take over to set it all right. Because if it comes to it… I don't think anyone expects you to survive the war either. Or if you do… I don't think you'll be exactly… sane. Not the way they're training you, certainly not a good leader for peace at any rate. If that happens you'll need to step aside, and let her take over for the good of the kingdom.” He held her as Rolph gave him a shocked look and started crying too. Fat tears, real ones, rolling down his cheeks silently.
Varley looked at her brother.
“You knew all this? I mean, it makes sense, now that it's pointed out, but, you knew?”
“Yeah. For a couple of years. It's why I was packed away to “learn to be humble” school and she was encouraged to practice fighting, and learn the history of war and battle while being a little wild. Not reckless, but tough. Hard. The kind of person that sees death dust eating her cousin’s arm and not only figures out what to do, but does it. I would have frozen. I couldn't have done it and then Trice would be dead. Oh, she may never thank you for it, but you saved more than her life. A lot of people hang in the balance with her. More than I can say…” Frustratingly he didn't say more. Tor was tempted to try and get it from his field but didn't. Not every secret was for him to know. Not even about Trice. It nagged at him, but that was just too bad.
As if to make the point for him his friend just shook his big head and said he couldn't tell him or let him know. But that he should love her as best he could.
Not cryptic or anything. Not at all.
Karina seemed slightly shaken, but didn't keep crying at least. Tor just felt tired. Couldn't any of them just be kids? Just do stupid stuff, get married and have a job? They all looked pretty bad, except for Varley, who hadn't been beaten or crying. Tor passed the healing device. It didn't change Rolph's eye color, so that only happened with severe ocular damage? Well it was something. He needed to fix that though. Brown was OK, but things like Karina's old friend Lilli could happen, and leave mismatched eyes. Or the device could fail to heal her of bitchiness at all. That was an obvious design flaw on his part. He apologized to Karina for it, getting a weak laugh.
It was something at least.
When they went back a plan was outlined. He'd get his three days to work, starting right after Alphonse came back from apologizing, then, if Maria could handle the sight of the Prince at all, he'd come back and try to make sure Tor didn't work for two weeks. Possibly longer. Tor didn't like that part at all. It sounded like a trap, not a reward for a job well done. Then, had he done well?
Well, he was alive, but really, he could have done that even better staying in the woods where he'd come from. No one even tried to kill him there.
The tiredness didn't leave, it wasn't, he didn't think, a thing of the body. He didn't feel heavy or worn out, just tired. Inside. Like he'd seen too much and it wasn't setting right, dragging him down. So far down.
Rolph was sent into a room alone with Maria and neither came out for hours. A few people smirked as if they were having sex, that being Trice mainly. She kept staring at him too, but didn't say why. It wasn't as glaring now, so that was an improvement. Now she just looked… considering or something. What she had to consider about him Tor didn't know at all. Probably that he better be working on her arm, time off or not.
Which was a good point.
When they came out both had obviously been crying and Rolph had been hit at least a couple of times, a nice bruise forming on the left side of his face. The Prince still had the truth device on and going. Tor was curious as to what was meant, but it wasn't his business, was it? As long as people stopped trying to kill him over it, that was enough. Hopefully this put the issue to bed and they could get on to ruining their lives in whole new ways, maybe with someone else catching most of the fall out next time?
Nah. Tor didn't like to lie to himself. This wasn't over. The wounds went too deep for too long.
After he'd gone in to how he'd made the flower arrangement for her, the one she threw in his face almost immediately, she hadn't bothered to even acknowledge that he'd done a good job. It was a little enough thing, but shouldn't someone have said something? Sorry? Oops? Good thing it wasn't a glass vase? Not brilliant things to mention, but saying nothing was worse, like announcing that he didn't matter at all.
He didn't, but that didn't mean she couldn't try to make him feel better about the whole thing. Yes, she'd apologized before, but it had been hollow and done to prevent a war and get him to help them, nothing more. She wouldn't have done it if not for that. Would she even really let go of things now? Could she? Tor hoped so. He really didn't need to keep revisiting all this stuff. It would be a relief when she left and he could just try to forget about her. They didn't have to be friends or anything silly like that.
For the next few days he didn't even try to leave his room. Just work. The King said there was a deadline, so what else could be done? He made of point of eating and drinking water and stretching daily while he did it, experience winning out over desire to get things done. He went running once early in the morning just as the sun rose, but didn't see many people. The rest of the time he just did what he did best, the only thing he did well at all practically.
Build.
Tor made a point of moving as close to not being aware of what he did as possible. It felt eerie and strange, he most often just sat down with a plan in mind and then came to holding the finished device or mass of copies. Time passed, but a lot less than he was used to. In three days he came up with thousands of amulets and several totally new devices. Luckily he'd already been working on this stuff or he wouldn't have gotten everything done by half. He'd had the plans ready to go. A few more he just didn’t have time for too. Like a Not-flyer that didn’t use hand controls and was guided by the mind. If that worked, he could try it with a flying device as well.
Then it was over suddenly, and he was supposed to stop. So he did. It felt wrong, like his body and mind were still moving, trying to capture something. Anything. At the same time he was still and solid inside. The feeling was like he was a stone in motion, only standing still…
It was night time when he finished, so he ate something in the kitchen, just some dark, slightly sour bread and soft white cheese he found in a cool box, hoping it wasn't someone’s private stash of food. It should be fine, he figured, because the room was positively loaded with supplies, enough for hundreds of people.
Then he went to bed, sleeping until midmorning, the sun coming through his window hit his eyes painfully. In a way he would have liked more sleep, and didn't really have anything to do, but that wasn't a reason to be lazy, was it? He had orders to relax and have fun, so he needed to get up and do it. Whatever that was. Fun? Kind of a vague set of orders.
Shaved, dressed in a light white outfit kind of like what they wore in Warden, except he had on a broad light yellow sash and soft white boots instead of sandals. In Ward the sashes all meant something. Red meant you were taken but friendly, married or something, but willing to dance and maybe do a bit more than just that. Green meant you were single and open minded, which was probably why every time he'd worn green down there guys had asked him to dance. Right. Well, there was no harm to it, none of them pressed him for more than that at least. Orange was rare and basically meant that a person wasn't announcing anything about themselves, so basically you were supposed to leave them alone, but then why go to a party if you felt like that? What yellow meant he didn't know for certain, but the people he'd seen wearing it always seemed to be having fun and have a lot of friends, so Tor had interpreted it as a party color. A person saying they wanted to have fun.
