Without A Hitch

minutes at any one time. F-Y-I, you’ve bought two cups of coffee today and drank about half of each, but never right away, just sips whenever you made it back to the office. You and I went to lunch around 12:15 and got back at one. On the post-lunch coffee trip, we ran into Stuart, who told us about his TiVo recording porn during the days. At that point, the front office came and took you away.”

“Who from the front office?”

“I didn’t say. I’d go with Zolensky, he won’t remember if he talked to you.”

“Won’t Stuart know I wasn’t with you at the time?”

“No, he’s actually pretty sure he saw you several times during the day. Also, Stuart won’t mention the porn thing to Molly or anyone else, so there’s no real chance of anyone investigating the story. Finally, remember you’ve been busy meeting people all day. You need to be calm, if not a bit worn down, and very, very bored.”

“Got it. How did the alibis go?”

“Perfectly. Traceable phone calls, computer usage, e-mails, lunch receipts, credit card bills, and one court reporter. It all went off without a hitch.”

Beckett stared out the window as the mall parking garage came into view. “I’ve got to hand it to you, this thing is working like a charm.”

When they stepped off the elevator, Corbin scouted their hallway. It was clear. He waved Beckett through. “Go to the end, down by Theresa. I’ll lure Molly out of her office. When you hear her, come around the corner like you’ve been up at the front office. Take this,” Corbin whispered, as he handed Beckett a file. Beckett took the file and walked silently to the end of the hallway. No one saw him. After he ducked around the corner, Corbin knocked on Molly’s door.

“Come in,” she called out. Her mood soured when Corbin stuck his head through the door. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize.”

“Go ahead.” She folded her arms and stared at him with cold eyes.

“Sorry.”

She squinted at him and furrowed her brow. “That’s it?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Keep tryin’,” Molly said with great annoyance.

“I’m really sorry?”

“If that’s all you’ve got-”

“I could build a temple in your honor?”

Molly involuntarily cracked a smile, but quickly regained her grim expression. “That’s a start,” she said, trying to sound “not convinced.”

“Seriously, I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Corbin said genuinely.

Molly’s grim facade softened and her lips surrendered their frown.

“I’ve got an extra cookie in my desk,” Corbin continued. “Would you accept an offering instead of a temple?”

“Maybe. . let me see the cookie.”

Corbin stepped into his office next door. Molly followed him as predicted. When she entered the hallway, Beckett turned the corner. Molly saw him a millisecond later.

“O-M-G! It’s the invisible man!”

“What?” Beckett asked.

“Where have you been?!”

“Front office.” He walked past Molly to his desk and sat down.

“I mean all day.”

Beckett looked confused. “I don’t follow you?”

“Where have you been all day.”

“I don’t understand? I’ve been here all day.”

“I can most definitely say you have not been in this building all day.”

Beckett at Corbin. “Did I miss something?”

Molly’s expression changed to anger. “Fine! Be that way! But I know the truth. I’ll figure it out, and you’ll be sorry.” Molly backed out the door, slamming it on her way out.

Corbin signaled Beckett that Molly could be listening at the door. Beckett nodded. “What was that about?” he asked loudly, toward the door.

“Insanity. Sad when it happens to someone you know. Cookie?”

After reading his e-mails, Beckett set about visiting everyone who had been promised a visit. He found this extremely tiring, but knew it was necessary to solidify his alibi. Interestingly, not one person, other than Molly, suspected he had been gone. Some even believed they saw him during the day. Once again, Corbin accurately predicted human nature.

Toward the end of the day, the front office arranged to serve cake in one of the conference rooms in Beckett’s honor. This was an ancient office tradition which Beckett knew was coming. He liked the idea of the free cake, but knew the price of admission would include a goodbye speech. He also would have to endure one of Wilson’s infamous “tribute” speeches. Wilson never set out to offend anyone, but his stream-of-consciousness speaking style combined with his general lack of judgment to create what some in the office maliciously termed “verbal diarrhea.”

“You ready?” Corbin asked Beckett.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Any idea what you’re gonna say?”

“I wrote something last week I thought I’d read.” Beckett pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. “When I came here a year ago, I had a very negative opinion of this office and particularly the management. It is now a year later. Thank you all for your best wishes, goodbye.”

Corbin laughed. “I’ll give you five bucks, cold hard cash, if you say that!”

“Don’t think I haven’t given it serious consideration.”

“What are you really going to say?”

“I don’t know. Something will come to me.”

Beckett entered the conference room to the sound of applause. Everyone from the office was present, with the notable exception of Kak. As Beckett acknowledged the applause, Corbin whispered in his ear: “Think they’ll clap when they see their credit reports?” Beckett ignored the comment.

Kak’s secretary called Beckett over to the cake. There were two nearly-identical cakes with white frosting and little sugar flowers. She cut a piece from the corner of the closest cake and handed it to Beckett. “We didn’t know what kind of cake you like, so we got one of each. This one’s chocolate.”

“Thanks, Pat. I’m sure they’re both fine.”

“Mr. Kak wanted to be here, but he was called away.”

“I’m sure.”

No sooner did Beckett put fork to cake, than Wilson came over and tried to shake his hand. “Everett, it’s been good having you here.” Wilson held his hands up to quiet the crowd. “People, people, quiet. I’d like to thank each of you for coming to help us give Everett a warm send off, though I suspect many of you just came for the free cake.” Everyone laughed uncomfortably.

“‘Everett’?” Molly whispered into Beckett’s ear. “Bet he doesn’t know your last name either!”

Wilson continued. “Still, now that we have you, I’d like to say a few words about Everett. Everett was the kind of employee I’ve always felt we needed more of around here. He was hard-working, dedicated and prompt.”

“Unlike the rest of you,” Corbin whispered to Molly.

“I keep telling George that we should hire more married men like Everett. They’re more responsible. I guess they learn to follow orders from their wives!” Wilson smiled, but the audience remained silent. “One thing I have to say, though, is I am disappointed you’re leaving us so soon. We like our employees to stay at least two years. That way we know they have plenty of time to learn about what we do. Of course, we don’t want employees staying too long either, do we? Ellen, where are you? There you are. How many years have you been with us?”