Belle could have easily left the balcony; his grip on her was tenuous at best. But something in his hoarse voice compelled her to turn around, and once she did, she was spellbound by the fierce longing in his eyes. Her mouth went dry, and she forgot how to breathe. She had no idea how long she stood there, her gaze captured by this man who had come to mean so much to her. 'John,' she whispered. 'I don't know what you want.'
'I want you.'
His words hung heavily in the air as Belle's heart begged her head to let herself believe him. What did he mean-he wanted her. Did he just want to touch her, to kiss her? She already knew that he was strongly attracted to her; he'd never been able to hide that, just as it had been quite obvious that she felt the same way.
Or did he want her in his life? As his friend, companion, or even his wife. Belle was terrified to ask the question. He'd already broken her heart once; she was not especially eager to let him do so again.
John saw the hesitation in her clear blue eyes and hated himself for having made her so wary. It was time to tell her how much he cared for her, he knew that. But his own fears held him back, and instead he said softly, 'May I kiss you?'
Belle slowly nodded and stepped forward as John reached out and took her other hand in his. An overwhelming shyness washed over her, and she dropped her gaze.
'Don't look away,' he whispered, moving his hand to her chin. He gently tilted her face up as he closed the distance between them. 'You're so, so beautiful. And so kind and good and smart and funny and-'
'Stop!'
His nose was now resting on hers. 'Why?'
'It's too much,' she replied tremulously.
'No. No, it's not. It will never be too much.'
He tilted his face so that his lips could gently brush over hers, and Belle felt a shiver of excitement rush through her. They continued in that way for a long minute, their lips just barely touching, until John could bear it no longer, and he crushed her to him.
'Oh God, Belle, I've been so, so stupid,' he groaned. He didn't kiss her, just held her next to him as if he could somehow imprint her body on his. He clutched her tightly, hoping that some of her gentle goodness and courage would infuse into him. 'I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you,' he whispered raggedly. 'It was the one thing I'd never meant to do.'
'Shhh,' Belle broke in. She couldn't bear to listen to him torture himself. 'Just kiss me. Please. You see, I've been thinking about it for days, and I-'
John needed no further urging, and this kiss was as fierce as the first had been gentle. He devoured her hungrily, drinking her in as he murmured nonsensical words of love and desire. His hands were everywhere, and Belle wanted them everywhere, wanted him more than she'd ever imagined, more than she could ever understand. She sank her hands into his thick hair, marveling at the texture of it even as his lips slid down her neck to the base of her throat.
'I can't believe this,' she moaned.
'What?' he managed to ask between nips.
'This. Everything. The way you make me feel. The-Oh!' Belle let out a whispered shriek as his mouth traveled to the sensitive skin just behind her ear.
'What else can't you believe?' he asked devilishly.
'That I want you to keep on kissing me,' she answered in a feverish voice. 'And that there is a party still going on in the next room.'
Belle's words had an unintended effect, and with great effort John pulled away from her and let out a low curse. 'I'd almost forgotten,' he muttered. 'Someone could discover us any minute.'
Belle felt unbelievably cold without his arms around her, and she couldn't stop herself from reaching out to him. 'Please,' she whispered. 'I've missed you so.'
She was a mighty temptation, but John held firm.
'I didn't come all the way to London just to ruin your reputation.'
'I wish you would,' she muttered under her breath.
'I beg your pardon?'
'Nothing.'
'We'll have to go back in separately.'
Belle smiled at John's concern. 'Don't worry. I'm certain Dunford is covering for us splendidly.' At John's raised eyebrow, she added, 'I told him a little about you.'
He shot her such a look that she was compelled to further explain, 'Just a little, though, so don't worry that I've spilled all your secrets.'
John pushed down the guilt that bubbled within him. She didn't know his biggest secret, and he'd have to tell her eventually. But not now. He didn't have to tell her now. 'Your hair is mussed,' he said instead. 'You might want to do something about that. I'll go back to the party first. I'm sure my brother is looking for me.'
Belle nodded, and together they walked into the darkened hall. Before they parted ways, however, she took his hand. 'John,' she said softly. 'What happens now? I have to know.'
'What happens now?' he repeated with a jaunty grin. 'Why, I court you. Isn't that what's supposed to happen next?'
She answered him with a smile and ran off.
When John reentered the drawing room he was not surprised to find his brother regarding him with a curious expression.
'Where did you disappear to?' Damien inquired.
'Just wanted to get some fresh air.' If Damien had noted that Lady Arabella had left the room at the same time, he didn't mention it. 'Why don't you introduce me to a few of your friends?' John suggested.
Damien nodded politely. Sometime while he was busy introducing John, Belle reappeared and made a beeline for Dunford.
'That was some exit,' he said with a grin.
Belle flushed. 'Nobody noticed, did they?'
Dunford shook his head. 'I don't think so. I was just keeping an eye on you in case you needed any sort of rescuing. In the future, however, I'd keep my trysts to under five minutes were I you.'
'Oh dear. How long was I, er, were we gone?'
'Longer than you'd intended, I'm sure. I set it about that you'd gotten something on your dress. All the ladies were properly sympathetic.'
'You're priceless, Dunford.' Belle grinned.
'Ah, there you are, Lady Arabella.'
Belle turned to see Lord Westborough walking toward her. John was at his side, a knowing smile on his face.
'How nice to see you again, my lord,' she murmured politely.
'And I believe you have already met my brother,' Damien added. 'Lord Blackwood.'
'Yes, of course. We are well acquainted.' Belle winced inwardly at her double-entendre and refused to look up at John, certain that she would be rewarded with a devilish grin. She was saved, however, from any potentially embarrassing conversation by the arrival of their hostess, Lady Forthright.
'Ah, Westborough,' she shrilled. 'I did not see you come in. And Lady Arabella, it is always a pleasure.'
Belle smiled and bobbed a polite curtsy.
'And this must be your brother,' Lady Forthright continued.
Damien nodded and introduced them. He then saw another friend and excused himself, leaving John and Belle in the clutches of their none too gentle hostess.
'Lord Blackwood? A baron, are you?' she queried. 'Hmmm. I'm not familiar with the title.'
Belle's insides clenched in anger. Lady Forthright had always been a meddlesome woman who tried to cover her lack of self-confidence by insulting others.
'It's a relatively new title, my lady,' John said, his expression deliberately even.
'Just how new is 'relatively'?' She smiled coyly at her little joke and then looked to Belle to see if she also disdained this newcomer to their ranks. Belle answered her with a scowl that intensified when she realized that the room had grown a bit quieter in the last few moments. Dear Lord, didn't anyone have anything better to do than
