How could he not, when she wanted him so badly? God couldn't be so cruel.
Belle quickly pushed those depressing thoughts aside. She had to trust her instincts, and they told her that John did care for her. Very much. As much as she cared for him. He had said to please be patient with him. That seemed to indicate that he was working through whatever problem ailed him. He must be in some kind of trouble, and he didn't want to involve her. How like him.
She grumbled. When was he going to learn that love meant sharing one's burdens? She crumpled the paper into a hard little ball and flexed her fist around it. He was going to get his first lesson that afternoon, because she was going to see him, propriety be damned.
And that was another thing. Her mental cursing had grown by epic proportions during the past few days. She was beginning to shock even herself. Belle tossed the note aside and brushed her hands against each other. She took a small pleasure in blaming her foul language on him.
Not bothering to change into a fancier dress, Belle grabbed a warm cloak and stalked off in search of her maid. She found her in her dressing room, examining her gowns for small rips and tears.
'Oh, hello, my lady,' Mary said quickly. 'Do you know which gown you wish to wear this evening? It needs to be pressed.'
'Doesn't matter,' Belle said briskly. 'I don't think I'm going to go out this evening after all. But I do want to take a short walk this afternoon, and I'd like you to accompany me.'
'Right away, my lady.' Mary fetched her coat and followed Belle down the stairs. 'Where are we going?'
'Oh, not very far,' Belle said cryptically. Her mouth shut in firm determination, she opened the front door and strode down the steps.
Mary scurried to catch up with her. 'I've never seen you walk so fast, my lady.'
'I always walk quickly when I'm irritated.'
Mary had no reply for that, so she simply sighed and quickened her pace. After they had walked a few blocks, Belle stopped short. Mary nearly crashed into her.
'Hmmm,' Belle said.
'Hmmm?'
'This is the place.'
'What place?'
'The Earl of Westborough's home.'
'Earl who?'
'John's brother.'
'Oh.' Mary had seen John several times during the past few weeks. 'Why are we here?'
Belle took a deep breath and lifted her chin stubbornly. 'We've come to pay a visit.' Without waiting for Mary's reply, she marched up the steps and slammed the knocker down three times.
'What?' Mary nearly screeched. 'You can't come calling here.'
'I can and I am.' Impatient, Belle slammed the knocker down again.
'But-but-only
Belle rolled her eyes. 'Really, Mary, You needn't speak of them as if they're a separate species. They're just like you and me.' She blushed. 'Well, almost.'
She had just lifted her hand up again to grab the knocker when the butler answered the door. She gave him her calling card and told him that she was there to see Lord Blackwood. Mary was so embarrassed she couldn't lift her gaze above the level of Belle's knees.
The butler ushered the two ladies into a small salon just off the main hallway.
'Persephone's going to throw me into the street,' Mary whispered, shaking her head.
'She will not, and you work for me, anyway, so she can't fire you.'
'She won't be happy about it, though.'
'I don't see any reason she needs to know about it,' Belle said resolutely. But inside she was quaking. This was highly irregular, and if there was one thing her mother hadn't raised her to be, it was irregular. Oh, she had called on John alone in the country, but etiquette was looser there.
Just when she thought her nerves had quite reached their limit, the butler returned.
'Lord Blackwood is not receiving, my lady.'
Belle gasped at the insult. John had refused to see her. She swept to her feet and strode out of the room, her carriage held erect by the dignity that had been instilled in her since birth. She didn't stop until she was halfway down the street, and then, unable to help herself, she looked back.
John was standing in a third-story window, staring down at her.
As soon as he saw her turn, he stepped away and let the curtains fall back into place.
'Hmmm,' Belle said, still looking at the window.
'What?' Mary followed her gaze but didn't find anything of interest.
'That's a nice tree in front of the building.'
Mary raised her brows, convinced that her employer had gone daft.
Belle stroked her chin. 'It's uncommonly close to the outer wall.' She smiled. 'Come along, Mary, we've got work to do.'
'We do?' But Mary's words went unheard, for Belle was already several steps ahead of her.
When she got home, Belle marched straight up to her room, pulled out some stationery from her desk and penned a note to Emma, who had been much more of a tomboy while growing up than Belle.
After Belle sent the note off to her cousin, she dealt with her grief and her anger the best way she knew how. She went shopping.
For this outing she took Persephone with her. The older lady never tired of browsing through the elegant London shops. Much more of a selection than anywhere in Yorkshire, she explained. And besides, it was great fun spending Alex's money.
Neither woman really needed new clothing after their last outing, but the holiday season was approaching, so they browsed through trinket shops, looking for gifts. Belle found an odd little telescope for her brother and a lovely music box for her mother, but she couldn't stop her heart from wishing that it were John for whom she was shopping. She sighed. She would just have to believe that all would work out in the end. She couldn't let herself believe anything else. It would simply be too painful.
It was probably because she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the two rather unsavory looking characters lurking in an alleyway as she passed by. Before she realized what was happening, one of them had grabbed her arm and started pulling her deeper into the alley.
Belle yelled out and fought with all her might. The thug had pulled her far enough into the alley so that the passersby on the main street did not see her. And London had grown so loud, it was understandable that no one paid her cries any mind. 'Let go of me, you cur,' she cried out. Her arm felt as if it were being torn from the socket, but she blocked out the pain, intent only on escape.
'She's the one, I tell ya,' she heard one of the villains say. 'She's the one the fancy cove wanted.'
'Shut up and get 'er over here.' The other man stepped forward and Belle's terror increased tenfold. There was no way she'd be able to hold out against the strength of both of these men.
But just when it seemed that all was lost, salvation came in the unlikely form of Persephone. She had been distracted by a particularly attractive window display when Belle had disappeared into the alleyway and was quite baffled when she looked back up and her charge was gone. When she called out Belle's name and got no response, she grew worried and began to look about frantically.
'Belle?' she called out again, this time loudly. She scurried forward, her head turning in all directions. Then, as she was passing the alleyway, she saw a blur of movement and Belle's familiar blond hair.
'Good God!' she screamed, loud enough to make most of the people on the sidewalk stop and stare. 'Let go of her, you beasts!' She rushed forward, raising her parasol above her head. 'Let go, I tell you!' With a furious whack, she slammed her weapon down on the head of one of the assailants.
'Shut up, you old bitch!' he yelled, howling in pain.
