nothing but liquids after 6 p.m. She’d hated it, but now she looked at least fifteen years younger. Il faut souffrir pour etre belle.
She led the way into the drawing room and sat down on the sofa. She patted the place beside her and gave him her most seductive smile, but he chose to sit in one of the armchairs.
All right. Suit yourself, buster, she thought. Perhaps she was expecting too much. Perhaps it was too soon. It was only three days since Stella had been separated from her head. James was pale and tense and he too seemed to have lost weight. His habitual bulging orb seemed to have diminished somewhat. He kept avoiding her eye.
No, nothing to drink, he said – thank you so much, but nothing to eat either. So much for her carefully prepared dinner a deux. (Asparagus soup, chicken in aspic, green salad, figs in strawberry sauce, Stilton, black coffee.) Why had she bothered? Why had he come? She pressed him to have a drink and eventually he said he would like a cup of tea. Tea! She’d always despised people who asked for a cup of tea, but this – this was particularly bad.
James was wearing a black suit, black tie and black shoes. And black socks. For heaven’s sake, she thought. All he lacked was a black armband! The disconsolate widower! He looked quite absurd. Maestro, the Death March, please, and don’t spare the violins!
Melisande felt the urge to laugh aloud, blow a raspberry, neigh like a horse, but she managed to exercise self-control. She still believed she had a chance with him. Having handed him his cup of tea, she poured herself a large brandy. This was not how she had imagined their reunion, most certainly not the way she had contemplated the evening ahead.
‘Kind of you to come when you clearly have so much on your mind, James,’ she said softly. ‘How have you been?’
‘Not awfully well. I’ve been sleeping badly.’
‘I am so terribly sorry. Have you seen your doctor?’
‘I’m afraid I haven’t had a chance. Too busy.’
‘Poor darling. Would you like one of my sachets? They reduce you to the most delicious kind of coma and no headaches afterwards, just a pleasantly treacly sensation. I am quite addicted to them.’
‘No, thanks.’
‘Would you like me to massage your poor neck and shoulders? It would release the tension. You know I can do it really well.’
‘No, thanks.’
Melisande pursed her lips. She had only been trying to be helpful. Did he fear she might try to seduce him? He used to love it when she had massaged his neck and shoulders in the past, couldn’t get enough of it, the greedy pig.
She thought the atmosphere in the room had become charged with wariness and potential conflict. I see the world through a shroud that is as clammy as it is dark. Who said that? One of those middle-aged women characters Winifred was urging her to play? Was it Carlotta in Song at Twilight?
She took a sip of brandy. Perhaps she should get roaring drunk?
‘Have the police released the body?’
‘No, not yet. I don’t know when exactly that will be. They keep their cards very close to their chests. We’ve been trying to contact Stella’s relatives in Bulgaria.’
‘What a bore. Who’s “we”?’
‘Moon and I.’
‘That awful girl.’
‘She is very young.’
‘Ghastly manners. Quite shocking. I don’t believe she gives a fig for her mother, dead or alive. Where is she now?’
‘At my sister’s place in Kensington.’
‘That’s the flat next door to yours, isn’t it? There is a communicating door, if I remember correctly. Poor Julia. How I pity her. What an ordeal. How is she coping?’
‘It hasn’t been too bad, actually.’
‘Make sure the girl doesn’t cut your throats as you sleep,’ Melisande murmured.
‘Sorry?’ How ridiculous he looked, cupping his ear and thrusting his head forward.
‘I said, make sure the girl gets enough sleep.’ Melisande raised her voice. ‘Sleep at that age is so very important, James.’
‘I know it is.’ He sighed. ‘Moon’s been under terrible strain. We’ve been trying to contact Stella’s relatives in Bulgaria, but the whole communication business has been a nightmare.’
‘Well, darling, what else can one expect when one goes exploring the unknown rather than exploiting the assured? If people fall below something called a certain standard, they are asking for trouble. No, I am not in the least angry with you, darling. It’s just that I don’t quite see why you should be going out of your way to accommodate that girl. It’s more than clear it’s affected your health. It breaks my heart to see you looking so ill.’
He harrumphed. ‘I’m not as bad as I was.’
‘I think this whole thing was nothing but a ghastly mistake from start to finish. The sooner you realize that, the better. It is my firm belief that once Stella has been buried, and her daughter goes back to Bulgaria or America or wherever, you will start seeing things in a totally different light.’
‘I’m not sure I will.’
‘You’re still in a state of shock, darling. I don’t imagine you’ve been thinking rationally. You really have been your own worst enemy, you know.’
‘What the hell do you mean?’
‘The impulse to destroy oneself is among the most ancient human impulses. It is the crux of most of Shakespeare’s greatest tragedies. The moment of madness – when a great man makes a single decision that sets his downfall irreversibly in train. Macbeth allowing the witches to plant ideas in his mind. Lear preferring his wicked daughters to his good, loving one.’
‘I don’t think I understand-’
‘Clearly insane decisions,’ she said firmly. ‘It is almost as though some bacillus has infected your entire physiology and unbalanced your judgement!’
‘What bacillus? What are you talking about?’
She took another gulp of brandy. I am going to drink myself into scintillations of self-pity, she thought.
‘Remember Malvolio suckered into wearing yellow cross-garters as a supposed aphrodisiac to his employer, Olivia?’
Looking at his blank face, it occurred to her that she might not be adopting the right approach. James wasn’t the least bit artistic or intellectual. Theatrical allusions weren’t exactly his thing. Witty parallels between life and high literature were all but lost on him.
Rising from the sofa, she went up to him and perched on the arm of his chair. ‘I feel for you, James. If you only knew how much I feel for you. My heart bleeds for you, darling. You can kiss me, if you like.’
‘I’d rather I didn’t – sorry, Melisande. I don’t feel terribly well-’
He’d rather he didn’t. She was dismayed. He was off her. He’d always called her Meli, never Melisande. This was the end. He no longer found her attractive. He no longer desired her. He was off her!
She told herself to persist. ‘I admire you for wanting to do the right thing, darling, I really do. You have such a munificent heart. I am sure everything will be all right in the end. You will see Stella’s body transported back to Bulgaria in one of those hermetically sealed coffins, give the daughter a couple of bucks and make sure she is safely ensconced on the plane. After that you will be a free man! The paralysing effect this whole dreadful business has had on your faculties will wear off soon enough and you will start seeing things as they really are.’
‘Moon doesn’t want to go back to Bulgaria.’
‘Well, she’ll have to go! She has no other option!’ Anger surged through Melisande like blood bubbling up through a sharp cut in skin. ‘You’d better impress it on her. You mustn’t allow that little bitch to twist you round her little finger, James, you really mustn’t! She’s taking advantage of your good nature, don’t you see? The brazen gall of it!’
‘She is very young,’ he said again.
