yourselves.”
Aaron and James looked at each other. It was the first time I’ve ever seen a boy grow up. I just wish both of them had.
CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
As soon as the eggers left our sight I slumped back into my chair, my arms dangling over the side, my feet stretched out in front of me with the toes of my boots pointing straight up at the sky. “So tired,” I muttered.
Vayl brought his chair close to mine and sat down.
“Can I get you something?” Cassandra asked.
“Caffeine,” I said.
She hurried inside.
Cirilai had quieted back down and, for that matter, so had Vayl. “You did well,” he said. “I . . . Sometimes it is harder than others. This year is shaping up to be a bad one. I lost my boys in April and already . . .”
“I know.” He nodded. Though it sucks to have such tragedy in common, it’s nice not to have to talk about how torturous the anniversaries can be. He just knew I’d be there to get him through. And come next November, I had a feeling I might not be the complete wreck I’d been last year.
Cassandra returned, carrying a carafe of Diet Coke. “Original and uplifting,” I told her with a smile. She also brought Bergman.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said.
I gulped my drink, thanking my lucky stars it went down the right tube. “Really? I mean, really, really? Bergman, that’s awesome!”
“Well, it’s not a sure thing yet—”
“Dude, if anybody can do it, you can.”
I didn’t realize how much he’d slumped until he straightened up. “Thanks. I guess I’ll get started then.”
“Excellent.”
As soon as Bergman left earshot Vayl said, “I am going to buy you some pom-poms and a short pleated skirt —”
“Hey, if Bergman needs a cheerleader, that’s what he’s getting.”
Vayl tipped his head to one side and smiled wickedly. “I was just thinking perhaps I need a cheerleader as well.”
Cassandra got up. “If that’s where this conversation is headed, I’m leaving.”
“She wants some pom-poms too,” I told Vayl.
“I do not!” Moments later we heard the RV door close behind her too.
“Oh man.” I dropped my head back as far as it would go. “I am so wasted. And you know what’s sad about that?”
“What?”
“I’m the only person I know my age who can say that and not mean too many Fuzzy Navels.”
“Do you need to sleep?”
“Do you want to visit David?”
I turned my head, let my vision fill with the vampire who’d brought me back from the brink more times than I cared to mention, the last being less than two months before, when the year was new and I feared my grip might have finally slipped for good. I was afraid this trip might take me right back there. I opened my mouth, my lips already burning with the difficulty of the words I knew I had to say. “I feel like I’m finally beginning to heal from what happened back then. It doesn’t seem wise to dredge it all up again. It’s like picking at old wounds. How smart is that?” I asked him.
He did a quick visual inventory of my recent injuries, which were all aching despite the painkillers Dr. Darryl had prescribed. “Perhaps that is the only way they can truly heal,” he suggested. His eyes lifted to mine. I’d never seen such naked honesty in them before. “I would wish that for you.” His eyebrows shot up, as if he’d found something surprising behind some inner door. “Even if it came at my own expense, I would like for you to be whole again. Maybe David can help you find the way.”
I sighed, feeling slightly better, but not nearly enough to make this trip okay with my churning gut or my pounding heart. “I’d better go.”
Vayl sat forward, his presence wrapping around me like a blanket. “I will be right here beside you.”
I nodded my thanks, unable to translate my gratitude for his presence into speech. I wanted to pull into myself like a turtle, as if that could provide some extra protection for the trek ahead. But my stitched leg wouldn’t cooperate. Neither would my chair. In the end I simply closed my eyes and bowed my head.
I still remembered the words Raoul had given me the last time I’d traveled outside my body, when the fate of
