Someone had created an excellent facsimile. But one thing I knew, just like I’d known about Granny May. When we did reunite, Matt and I would burn white-hot with the kind of flame that either eats you up or changes you forever. That’s the kind of love we shared. That’s what was missing from this Matt’s eyes.
The white fighters joined hands, raised their heads toward my fading golden cord, and sang. The cord immediately started to vibrate, to try to make its own sound, the song that made it unique to me. The slime that covered it hardened, cracked, began to flake off. The fighters sang louder and my cord responded. This time it was successful. I heard my own tune, weak but clear. I rose, following it toward my body slowly, almost hand over hand as the shell that had stranded me fell away. I picked up my pace, refusing to look over my shoulder, to thank my rescuers because I wasn’t even sure that’s what they were. I speeded back to myself. Trying not to think. Trying to outrun my breaking heart.
I took a swift look around to re-orient myself before I entered my body. It hurts like hell and I needed to know just how much teeth gritting would be required. A lot. The room was full.
We’d arrived in Tehran before dawn and set up in the building our people had rented for us the week before. A new construction, the white, four-story hexagon with dark brown trim housed three fairly luxurious apartments built right on top of a parking garage that could fit five cars and a midsize RV.
Only the downstairs apartment had been furnished, so that’s where we’d crashed. Not all of us. We’d stopped once, just before crossing the border, to transfer our wounded to a helicopter along with Adela, which was a shame, since she was the only team member besides Dave who I knew couldn’t be the mole. She was just too superstitious to work with a necromancer.
She hadn’t expected to go. The helicopter crew had brought a doc along with them and, for obvious reasons, units like Dave’s kept their medics close at hand. But Dave had made it an order.
“I know how you feel about the vamp and the Seer,” he’d told her quietly as the healthy guys helped the wounded aboard the chopper. “That’s not a problem I need on this mission. I’m sending you back to Germany. Once there, you’ll be reassigned.”
“I don’t understand,” she’d said, anger beginning to stir behind her dark brown eyes. “I’ve done excellent work here.” She gestured to the guys.
See? All alive
.
Dave cocked his head to one side. “Six weeks ago my best connection to the Wizard was killed in an ambush. In her efforts to save him, my medic gave him CPR. He was a werejackal. Tell me, Adela, could you have put your mouth on his and blown your breath into his lungs?”
The eeww-gross expression that sped across her face before she could blank it out told the story. As soon as she knew she’d been had, she dropped the facade and let ’er rip. “Those creatures are evil. Every one of them should be put down.” The scorn in her voice infuriated me. As if God himself had given her the necessary moral superiority to decide the fate of anyone different from her. I didn’t realize I’d taken a step toward her. That my fists were clenched and I was prepared to swing until Dave grabbed my arm. But he couldn’t shut me up.
“Those creatures have been living on this earth as long as we have. Some would argue that, even now, we survive only because a few of their most powerful leaders know it’s in their best interests to live alongside us, even with us, rather than without us.”
“They’re monsters,” Adela snapped.
“Keep thinking that,” I told her. “Pretty soon you’ll find yourself scrubbing toilets in some veteran’s hospital. And you know what? When I bring my dad in for his colonoscopy, I’m sure he’ll have to take a piss right before, and I’m not going to remind him to lift the lid.”
“Jaz!” Dave didn’t need to say another word. I knew by his tone I’d gone too far. Again. But, dammit, I was getting so sick of this shit! Most of these bigots had never met a supernatural being in their lives and were operating either from family-held superstitions or media-hyped fears. To be fair, lots of vamps and weres and witches were scary bad. Otherwise I’d be out of business. But then, so were plenty of humans.
With nowhere to go but backward, I joined my crew on the road and let Dave’s team say their goodbyes. It had been an emotional parting for them, tough to watch by its very lack of tears and bear hugs. Vicelike handshakes with the second hand clutching a shoulder or elbow. Tight-jawed promises to “See you as soon as we get back” and demands to “Take care of yourself.” And from Terrence, Ashley, Ricardo, and Otto, of all things, apologies. “Sorry I let you down.” “I hate like hell to miss this.” “I’m so sorry, man.” I finally had to turn away.
“It is not your fault these men are hurt,” Vayl told me as we walked back to the truck. When I didn’t reply, his hand, startlingly warm on my shoulder, stopped me. He turned me to face him. “Jasmine?”
“I could say it’s Uldin Beit’s fault,” I told him miserably. “Or Desmond Yale’s. I could mention the fact that these guys knew the risks when they signed up. And maybe I’d even be right. But
I
feel responsible for their wounds. Their pain. If I’d just —”
Vayl ran his thumb across my lips. Usually I’m not that easy to silence. But suddenly I couldn’t think of a thing to say. “They will be all right,” he whispered.
He’d leaned in to speak the words. If I rose up on my toes, my lips would just brush his. And why in the world would I think that would be okay right here, right now?
Because you want it that bad. Admit it, at least to yourself. If you thought your heart could handle it, you’d lay this vampire down.
I took a deep breath. Focused on the job. Let it pull me back from the edge yet again. “Maybe we should send them all back. Do this thing ourselves, like we should have all along.”
“Their unit would still be compromised.”
“You think the mole is still with us?”
“I would say the chances are excellent.”
“About that. Did you see anybody signal from the farmhouse before the second attack?”
