Bitten in Two

“I care only for Helena’s welfare!” Vayl snapped.

Cole poked his head into the door, the barricading evidently up to his standards. “I think I can help.” He strol ed over to Ahmed’s chair, and whispered at length into the mage’s ear. It was almost comical to watch the change come over his face. His expression went from confused and scared to piss-your-pants freaked. Then Sterling’s fun-mix hit the air and he fel into a happy daze.

Natural y we’d al stuffed our nostrils with Sterling’s special wax, so it only felt like we’d been congested for a week.

Wel , al of us but Vayl, who’d flat out refused. Because, as he’d continuously reminded us, warlocks are evil.

When my sverhamin began to smile, I mean real y show fang, I thought, Uh-oh. But Ahmed had hit the confessional and I didn’t want to miss a word.

He looked dreamily into Cole’s eyes and said, “I just wanted the money, that’s al . It takes money to buy components. And more money to experiment with new combinations that wil impress the Ardent enough to convince them to bestow upon you the title of Mage of the Scrol . Roldan had money. Sooooo much money.” Ahmed rol ed his head around to stare at me. “You have lovely hair.

It’s like curly, red wood shavings.”

“Her hair is not red,” Vayl said, wagging his finger at Ahmed like the bad boy had forgotten to take out the trash.

“Sil y.”

“Oh you.” Ahmed circled his head around and grinned foolishly at the vampire, who’d begun shoving his finger forward like he was trying to stab Ahmed with it. Or saw off a piece of butter for his corn on the cob.

Ahmed stared down at his feet. “I think I’m in trouble.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Look at my little toe. It’s stopped dancing. You know what that means?”

I caught Sterling’s eyes. He shrugged. “What?” I asked.

His entire face puckered. “I’ve been a bad, bad boy.” He started to cry. Vayl, his forehead crinkling in sympathy, went over to pat him on the shoulder as Ahmed said, “I have scary werewolves living in my basement. You know what they eat for breakfast? Raw sheep’s liver. Liver is supposed to be cooked, you know!”

Cole took my arm and escorted me to the corner of the little office opposite the file cabinet, at which time he asked,

“If I laughed out loud, how hard would you kick my ass?” I shook my head. “This is so not the scene I was I shook my head. “This is so not the scene I was imagining. How are we supposed—oh no. They’re— Cole.

Tel me they’re not…”

He nodded, biting his lip to keep it from betraying him.

“Yes, Madame B., I’m afraid so. Your loveypoo is hugging the mage who cursed him. Who is hugging him back. It’s a total hugfest. Do you want a hug?”

“No!”

Sterling held out his arms and nodded, so Cole and he embraced while giggling idiotical y, and then, of course, Kyphas had to stick her big old boobs into it until everybody in the goddamn room was snuggling like a bunch of drunken idiots doing the Closing Time Dance.

I heard a crack, looked down, and realized I’d just broken the pencil sharpener. When I looked up… huh. I caught Ahmed in the middle of a crafty expression that didn’t fit with his recent behavior. I checked his wrists.

“Sterling! Your cuffs are loose! See what happens when you cuddle during an interrogation?”

“Bound to me!” the warlock shouted just as Ahmed, in a single move, sprang from his seated position to a crouch on the same chair.

Instead of tightening, Sterling’s wand fel off Ahmed’s wrists, dropping to the brown tiled floor as if its two parts held no power at al .

Everyone moved at once.

Sterling dove for the wand, whispering the words that united the halves and twisted them back into a warlock’s conduit.

Kyphas grabbed the teapot off the hot plate. She threw it at Ahmed, screaming, “You might as wel start burning now!”

Seeing the container with its boiling contents flying his way, Ahmed yelped and jumped off his chair toward the desk. The tea splattered against the wal , at which point he jumped again, this time aiming for the filing cabinet.

What is this guy, half bullfrog?

I lunged to intercept him and caught his feet just as he tried to land. He crashed to the floor, squealing with pain as Vayl and Cole landed on top of him.

Sterling came after, waving his wand over Ahmed’s head. As he chanted words under his breath, some of which sounded a lot like curses themselves, I squatted down by the mage so he could see my face. Pul ing out Grief, I made it ready to fire. Then I said, “No more pissing around, you little fuck. You cursed my sverhamin. Now you reverse it. Or I put a hole in your head.” I pressed Grief against his temple.

“They’l kil me!” he protested. I pressed harder. He squal ed, “It’s not that easy to do! I need time to prepare!”