Bitten in Two

“Oh.”

Silence. Not just golden. Jewel-encrusted and brimming with stardust. Vayl drove while the rest of us zipped it. We didn’t even move for fear we’d set Bergman off and make him undo al the work the doctor had put in on him. The tension had just begun to seep out of my toes and fingertips when Bergman said, “Jaz!”

“What?”

“I am so horny!”

I dropped my forehead into my hand as Cole and Sterling broke into laughter. Maybe even Raoul added a chuckle or two, though I couldn’t tel because the other two were honking so loud.

Bergman asked, “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been with a woman?”

“I don’t—”

“Five years! And then I had to pay for it. Which is so humiliating. Although I real y shel ed out the cash so she was supergreat. Like Cleopatra. Only not dead.” He turned completely around to face me, a feat only somebody as heavily drugged as he was could accomplish, considering he was both injured and seat belted. If we crashed he’d probably shoot straight out the top of the thing and smash into the roof. But no way would I worry about him now because he wasn’t even close to done grossing me out. In fact, he was asking me earnestly, “Is it so wrong to want a woman I don’t have to become a criminal to make love to?” I shook my head, wishing I was anywhere but here. Yes, even chasing Kyphas through hel would’ve been a more attractive option.

What are the chances that he’ll totally blank on this conversation in the morning? “That’s reasonable,” I said.

Bergman had clearly thought this out. He pointed to me, which made me gulp loudly, but he said, “Monique would be nice.”

“Okay.”

“Except she scares the shit out of me.”

“Also reasonable.”

“She’s very experienced.”

“And that’s a problem for you?”

“Yup. I’ve done a lot of reading. But, uh, theory is not at al like practice in these cases. I don’t think.”

“I see. So what do you want to do?”

“I have no idea.”

Silence. This time not even close to a precious metal.

Cole leaned forward, began to rub Bergman’s shoulders like he was getting ready for a big boxing match.

“So, uh”—he stopped to clear the laughter out of his voice

—“you want some advice from somebody who’s been there, buddy?”

Of course he’s been there. This was my Inner Bimbo, sizing Cole up like he was a big old cheesecake and she hadn’t had dessert in a year. Then her eyes strayed to Vayl.

Hmm, I wonder if…

Shut up. This is about Miles. Getting with a cougar. Oh crap, I’m imagining it now. I think I’m gonna puke.

Bergman said, “Yeah, okay. What do I need to know?”

“You think too much,” said Cole.

Sterling spoke up. “Waaay too much is my guess.” I looked over my shoulder in time to catch Cole winking at the warlock and nodding.

“Just relax and see what happens, al right?”

“Okay.”

“Great! Now that Bergman’s love life is back on track can we talk about Astral?” I asked.

“What about Astral?” Bergman frowned, picking up first one foot, then the other, like he thought he might find her flattened form underneath one of them. “Here, kitty!”

“No!” I pointed back at the cat, who’d taken her favorite spot on the ledge beneath the back window. “You stay right there, missy.” Thankful y she was programmed to obey my voice above al others, so al she did was flick her tail and half close her eyes at me, as if to say, “I’m too comfortable to move anyway.”

I leaned forward so I could catch Vayl’s eye. Okay, I’m about to give the tech-head here another reason to be in the hospital. Are you sure this is going to be worth it? I asked him silently. He gave me a short nod.

So I told Miles what had happened in the smal est words I could manage. I ended with, “We need to get that map out of Astral. Your equipment—”

“Should do the job,” Miles said, suddenly, remarkably, businesslike. “How far are we from the riad?”

“Perhaps ten minutes,” Vayl said.

“I think I’l catch a nap then. I should try to be as alert as possible when it’s time to do the transfer.” And he promptly passed out.

I watched him slide about five inches down the seat until the belt final y caught him just below the