Jennifer Rardin - [Jaz Parks 1] - Once Bitten, Twice Shy

'To be honest, I did want it. I do. I'm… I can't explain how honored I am to be wearing it. But, also to be honest, the whole deal terrifies me.'

'Because…'

I took a long look at the stitching on his collar, the urge to cower my way out of this conversation damn near primal. He and I had been tiptoeing around the subject so long I suspected if I made us face it squarely, one of us would be required to cut and run. A perfectly acceptable reaction if you had a place to retreat to. Neither of us did.

'I've only been your assistant, your avhar, for awhile,' I finally said, avoiding his gaze, 'and I can't imagine any other kind of life. When you gave me this ring… when I gave you my blood… it's… we've gone beyond that. We're trusting the safety of our souls to each other.'

He raised my chin with a gentle finger and I winced as our eyes met. The look we shared pained me in its naked honesty.

'You are my avhar. I am your sverhamin. The intensity of that relationship has taken us beyond the bonds between co-workers or teammates. Some would call that love.'

I winced again.

'But you would not have it so.' He squeezed my arms, put one of his arms around my back. 'It is no secret. You have experienced the heaven and hell of love.'

'But, see, the hell came last, so that's still the memory, the feeling, that lingers. For a long time I tried to come up with some way to explain how I felt because Evie kept pushing me to put it into words. She thought, somehow, that would make it all better. But I couldn't tell her I felt like I should be bleeding from every pore. I couldn't tell her I felt like I'd been flayed alive, that when I looked in the mirror every morning I couldn't believe my hair hadn't turned white overnight. It just wasn't close enough to the truth. So I didn't say anything at all.'

'I understand.' He whispered it into my hair. And I believed him.

'There's only so much a person can go through, Vayl.'

He pulled me closer. 'There is only so much a person can go through alone. But I am not asking you to do anything you cannot bear. I have eternity, Jasmine. I can wait until your feelings are no longer fractured.'

'It may be awhile. My feelings for you… it's hard to be okay with them when my love for Matt is still fresh in my memory, still strong in my heart.'

If my statement had hurt him, he didn't show it. He said, 'My father used to say that true love never dies. It simply makes your heart big enough to hold even more love.'

'So… I can keep the ring?'

'Yes.'

Chapter Twelve

I drove Vayl back to the Pink Palace, leaving the room cleaning chores to the experts. The Agency employs a whole fleet of them for obvious reasons. We made it inside with barely 20 minutes to spare before dawn.

'You look exhausted,' Vayl said as he eased my jacket off my shoulders and hung it over a chair. I had something intelligent to say about that, but then he started rubbing the back of my neck and all I could say was, 'Oh.'

'I know I should let you sleep, but I am so relieved Liliana did not kill you, I cannot take my eyes off of you.'

'You're relieved! When she caught me trying to make my getaway I thought I was toast.'

'And that young man I took to the hospital. His blood smelled so wrong, I was afraid just being close to him had damaged you permanently.'

'Yeah, what the hell do you think is up with him?'

'I have no—'

My phone began to ring. This close to dawn it couldn't be good news and I hated to answer it. But Vayl retrieved it from my jacket and tossed it to me.

'Yeah?' I barked.

'It's Bergman. I'm in Florida, but I've gotta sleep. Do you need me tonight or can I meet you tomorrow?'

'Tomorrow's good.'

'Where do I look for you?'

'Hang on.' I covered the mouthpiece. 'It's Bergman,' I told Vayl. 'Do you know of a good place he and I can meet tomorrow?'

He thought a moment, then his eyes lit. 'Actually, I do.' He gave me the address and I passed it on to Bergman, along with an agreeable time. When we hung up I said, 'So where are we meeting?'

Vayl looked vaguely embarrassed, like I'd just caught him and his pals plotting to stroll on over to the Silver Saddle, where girls dance mostly naked and all the drinks taste like sour lemonade.

'Vayl?'

'The place is called Cassandra's Pure and Natural, after the woman who runs it. It is a small health food store.'

'Nice front,' I drawled, getting more and more annoyed at Vayl's hesitation. Hadn't we just had a major moment? What the hell was he hiding? 'And if you pay Cassandra a little extra?' I asked.