Jennifer Rardin - [Jaz Parks 1] - Once Bitten, Twice Shy

fell on your heads. So give it to me straight this time, Rudy, before I lose my temper and make sure Junior grows up an only child.'

Rudy let out a very Homer Simpson-like yelp and crossed his hands over my target. 'All right, all right! This couple came into the bar where we hang out.'

'What did they look like?'

'She had big boobs and bright white hair that went down to her butt,' said Amy Jo, peeking around Rudy to make sure I heard her right.

'And he had longish reddish hair,' finished Rudy. 'I think they were both vamps.'

Aidyn and Liliana. Should I be surprised? Yeah, I thought so. You don't hire a couple of local yokels to off two of the best assassins in the world. Unless that's not really what you want for your money. Maybe it's well spent if all you want to do is distract said assassins from their original mission. It made good, key-in-the-lock sense when you took it as a package along with Vayl's tainted blood and our run-in with Graybeard and his henchmen.

'The vamp you're after is already smoke,' I told them.

'What?' the two of them squawked like a couple of irritated blue jays.

'Yeah. Thought he needed a suntan, I guess. Walked right out into full daylight this morning.'

'Son-of-a-bitch!' Amy Jo punched poor Rudy in the arm because, well, he was there.

'Look,' I said, before she threw another jab Rudy couldn't duck, 'tell them you bagged the vamp. He's gone, so it doesn't really matter if you take the credit. Then get out of town. Way out. You'll get the cash and help the C.I.A. at the same time.'

Amy Jo looked a little doubtful, but Rudy grinned and rubbed his palms together as if they'd already been greased. 'We can do that.'

'And, uh,' I motioned to their costumes, 'I'd rethink the vamp-smoking biz. The one you were after wasn't put off by crosses. Most others keep tougher goons than you around to guard their sleep. Why don't you go arrow straight and, uh, open a liquor store or something?'

'Wow,' said Amy Jo, 'how did you know?'

Because you are me and Evie minus college and Granny May. The words sat, silent on my tongue. I just looked at her, and when her eyes narrowed I knew she had me pegged. 'You're a Sweep, aren't you?'

I shrugged. 'I'm not familiar with that term.'

'Like a chimney sweep. You dust vamps and get rid of the ashes. Dust people too, I'm betting,' she said, nodding wisely, like an old Chinese monk.

I accepted her metaphor, despite her ignorance of what actually happens when a vamp goes bye-bye for good. 'Yes,' I said, 'I do.' I let her see in my eyes what all my victims had seen in their time. She was already a tough old bird, though I wouldn't put her age past 22, but I backed her up a step. 'Someday you might even be as good as me, if a vamp doesn't rip your throat out first. Of course, Junior there might not appreciate that.' I motioned to her belly. 'There are Moms, and there are Sweeps, Amy Jo. You can't be both.'

I stopped, mentally kicking myself for falling into lecture mode. Either she was smart enough to figure it out for herself, or she was too damn dumb to waste my breath on.

'Throw the room key on the bed,' I told Rudy, too tired to be polite anymore. He fished the card out of his back pocket and laid it on Vayl's crumpled comforter.

'We'll be taking the stairs down.' I motioned them out of the bedroom. 'You come too,' I told Bergman when he caught my eye.

He nearly leaped out of our way as we moved to the entry way, a nervous gazelle smelling predator in all directions. To give him credit, however, he didn't rush to his ride once we reached the parking lot. He stood slightly behind me as Rudy and Amy Jo boarded their beige Chevy Van, circa 1975, and pulled away. Even from a distance I could see Amy Jo talking into her cell phone, hopefully reporting Vayl's final demise.

'Come on, Bergman, lets get you that blood sample so you can get the hell out of here.'

'So Vayl's okay?' he asked as we took the elevator back upstairs.

'Of course. If you've taught me anything, it's to be perfectly paranoid when it comes to securing sleeping quarters. He's snoozing in the basement.'

'What're you going to do now? I mean, now that the bad guys know where you're staying?'

I shook my head as we exited the elevator and reentered the suite. Trashed by trailer trash. How poetic. I started picking up junk and throwing it into a pile. 'Find the one place in Miami that won't show up on these jerks' radar.' Bergman frowned heavily as he helped me clean up. After a few minutes he squared his shoulders and said, 'I know just the place.'

'You do?'

'Yeah. Actually, I'm staying there.'

I swallowed my spit and it went down the wrong tube. Through the coughing fit that followed I said, 'Are you… inviting us to stay with you?'

Bergman nodded unhappily. 'I figure it's the patriotic thing to do.'

'You figure rightly. Thanks!'

Boy would Vayl's jaw drop when he heard this one. Bergman's privacy, sacred to him as the Torah, had bowed to the needs of two of the Agency's most notorious members, I'd have to choose the right time to tell him. Definitely after he'd climbed off the top of the toilet paper cabinet upon which he now roosted.