Bergman, who’d been so silent that I’d almost decided he was sleeping off his nightmare tangle with the Rider, spoke up. Perkily, as if he hadn’t just been mental y and physical y gnawed on by an evolutionary throwback. He asked, “Raoul, are you some kind of prophet? Should we be writing everything you say down?” And then, “Jaz. Astral’s recording everything he says, right?”
“That seems like an invasion of privacy, Bergman. Why don’t you just stalk him instead?” Cole began to snicker and Astral, apparently feeling she should have some say in the matter, began to speak. “Metamorphosis in five seconds. Four, three, two…”
“Bergman, now look what you’ve done,” said Raoul. “She’s turned into a pancake!”
“That’s not supposed to happen,” said Bergman. “Don’t let her jump… Raoul! I wanted to test her timing system!”
I glanced back and saw Aaron rise in his seat so he could see farther forward. “What’s the cat doing to the dog?” he asked curiously.
“Somebody let me in on the action,” I demanded.
“Yeah!” Cole seconded me. “I can’t see them from up here!”
Aaron had moved into the aisle for a better view. “The cat’s sliding over to where the dog is lying under the front seat.”
“The dog is Jack; the cat is Astral,” I reminded him. “If you’re going to be traveling with us for the next couple of days, it would be nice if you memorized a few names. You know, in case you get lost and have to ask the Walmart lady to page us over the intercom.” Ignoring me, Aaron said, “Jack’s twitching in his sleep. What does a dog of yours dream about, Ms. Parks?”
I said, “I always figured Jack was chasing bad guys across endless fields of clover. Not sure he ever catches them, but he has a fabulous time trying.”
“O-kay then… wel , I think he’s going to be in for a surprise. Because the cat, Astral, I mean, has positioned herself between his paws. She looks like a warped Frisbee. But at least now al his twitching makes sense.”
Realizing how badly she was going to freak him out when she popped back into her ful form, I said, “Whoever is closest to her needs to lean over, snap their fingers, and order her back to normal.”
Aaron said, “Okay, I can—”
Loud, brash music blared from the floor of the tour bus.
“What’s happening?” I demanded as Dave and Cassandra both turned in the backseat to see if they could get a better view.
“It’s Astral!” Aaron yel ed. “She’s playing that AC/DC song. You know which one I mean?”
“We can al hear ‘Back in Black,’ Aaron,” Cole drawled. “In fact, I think the first three lines are now imprinted on my eardrums.”
Aaron laughed. “Oh my God, it was great! Jack jumped completely off the floor. He looked like a grizzly bear that’s just been stung in the butt by a bumblebee! That’s a smart dog of yours, Ms.
Parks. It only took him, like, two seconds to figure out that Astral was screwing with him. Oh, man!”
“What’s he doing now?” asked Cassandra.
“He’s sitting down on the floor in front of her,” reported Aaron. “He’s looking at her kind of sideways.”
“Uh-oh,” I said.
My brother and sister-in-law turned toward me. “What does
“He’s planning something,” I predicted, wishing I were on the bus so I could prevent whatever catastrophe was about to occur to what had to be a multimil ion-dol ar piece of technology and, even better, keep Bergman from experiencing his first heart attack.
“You’re right!” Aaron said. “He’s leaning over, real slow. Like he’s afraid he’s going to spook her.
And now, wow, he’s real y being gentle! He’s clamping her head in his jaws, just enough so he can give it a quarter of a turn to the right. Now he’s letting go. He’s coming down the aisle, and now he’s hopped into Bergman’s lap.”
As if the sudden groan from Bergman wasn’t an even better clue.
“What was that al about?” Aaron asked me.
“Jack was sending Astral a message she’d understand. He was tel ing her,
And now he’s planted himself on top of the one man who can fix her if anything goes wrong. My guess? She’l behave herself for at least the next twelve hours.” Murmurs of wonder and pride from the rest of the crew as they settled into what was fast becoming the longest marathon drive of my life. And then Vayl said, “Stop the car.” Such a quiet command, but it would’ve easily halted a battalion of tanks. I pul ed over, Cole lined up behind me, and we al gathered onto the shoulder of the road, which I thought was a good thing for several reasons. I needed a break from dodging potholes the size of my hubcaps. I was tired of fol owing oxcarts ful of mystery plants that were bigger and scarier than corn, and passing when I felt like the next pothole might be deep enough to lead into an entirely new dimension. Plus Jack needed some exercise. So I was feeling pretty positive about this new turn of events until Vayl stepped into Raoul’s personal space, his cane nearly impaling my Spirit Guide’s foot as he stood nose-to-nose with the Eldhayr who’d saved my life.
Even Jack cut his relief time to a minimum and came back to stand at my side as the atmosphere spiked into the same realm of intensity that must have been felt inside the boardroom during the last postwar peace treaty negotiations.
“Your attempt to distract me from your remarkable lack of interest in a human’s impending death has failed,
