Her Mother’s Hope

Dr. Zimmer’s poultices and elixirs had done little to help Mama’s cough. She looked drawn and pale; her clothes hung loosely on her thin frame. The bones of her wrists looked as fragile as birds’ wings.

“There’s not a thing I can do, Marta. You can’t change a dog into a cat.”

Marta flung herself into a chair and put her head in her hands. “Because he’s hopeless, I have no hope.”

Mama left her needle tucked into an embroidery stitch as she reached over to cover Marta’s hand. “You’re learning new things every day, from the Beckers and Gilgans. You must wait and see what God will do.”

Sighing, Marta threaded a needle to help Mama. “Every franc I earn will be used to pay Hermann’s school expenses. And he doesn’t care, Mama. Not a bit.” Her voice broke. “It’s not fair!”

“God has plans for you, too, Marta.”

“It’s Papa who makes the plans.” She stabbed her needle into the wool.

“God says to trust and obey.”

“So I must submit to one who despises me and crushes every hope I have?”

“God does not despise you.”

“I meant Papa.”

Mama didn’t disagree. Marta stopped and watched her mother’s slender fingers dip the needle in and out of the black wool. A delicate white edelweiss began to take form. Tying off and snipping the white thread, Mama took up another with yellow and made tiny French knots at the center of the flower. When she finished, she smiled at Marta. “You can find pleasure in work well done.”

Marta’s chest squeezed tight with pain. “I’m not like you, Mama. You see the world through different eyes.” Mama found blessings everywhere because she searched diligently for them. How often had Marta seen Mama leaning against the work counter in the kitchen, bent with exhaustion, sweat pouring from her brow as she watched the mountain finches flitting from branch to branch in the linden tree outside the window? A soft word from Papa would bring a tender smile. Despite his cruelty, his selfishness, Mama found something to love in him. Sometimes Marta would see a look of pity come into her mother’s face when she looked at Papa.

“Do you know what you want?”

“To make something of my life. To be more than someone’s servant.” Her eyes grew hot and grainy. “I knew it was too much to dream of going to the university, Mama, but I would’ve liked to finish high school.”

“What about now?”

“Now? I’d like to learn French. I’d like to learn English and Italian, too.” She stabbed her needle through the black wool. “Anyone who can speak multiple languages can find a good job.” She pulled the thread through too quickly and it tangled. “But I’ll never have the-”

“Stop, Marta.” Mama reached over and touched her gently. “You’re making it worse.”

Turning the black wool over, Marta plucked at the loops, loosening them.

“If the opportunity arose for you to learn more…?” Mama looked at her in question.

“I’d find a good job and save money until I had enough to buy a chalet.”

“You want a place like Hotel Edelweiss, don’t you?” Mama began on another flower.

“I’ll never dream of having anything as grand as that. I’d be happy with a boardinghouse.” She gave a bleak laugh. “I’d be happy to work in a nice shop in Interlaken selling Dirndln to tourists!” She yanked the thread through. “But that’s not likely, is it? What’s the use of dreaming?” She thrust the wool aside and rose. If she sat another minute, she’d suffocate.

“Perhaps God put the dream in your head.”

“Why?”

“To teach you patience.”

“Oh, Mama…” Marta groaned. “Don’t I show patience teaching that mulish brother of mine? Haven’t I shown patience hoping Papa might change his mind and let me go back to school? It’s been two years, Mama! I’ve done everything he’s told me to do. I’m fourteen! Rosie doesn’t ask me to help her anymore. I grow more stupid every year! What good is patience when nothing will ever change?”

“Nonsense. Come and sit, Barchen.” Mama put her work aside and took Marta’s hands firmly. “Look at what you’ve gained through the Beckers, Frau Fuchs and Frau Zimmer, and the Gilgans. You’ve learned to bake, tend bees and children, and you’ve seen what it takes to run a fine hotel. Doesn’t that show you God is preparing you-?”

Her hands tightened when Marta opened her mouth to protest.

“Hush, Marta, and listen to me. Listen carefully. It doesn’t matter what your father plans, nor what his motives might be. God will prevail. God will use everything to His good purpose if you love and trust Him.”

Marta went cold. She saw something in her mother’s expression that warned her. “Papa’s made plans for me, hasn’t he? What plans, Mama?”

Mama’s blue eyes grew moist. “You must search out the usefulness in every situation.”

Marta snatched her hands from Mama’s. “Tell me, Mama.”

“I can’t. It’s for your father to explain.” She took up her sewing and said nothing more.

Papa laid out his plans for Marta the next morning. “You will be pleased to know I’m sending you to school. I would’ve sent you sooner, but Haushaltungsschule Bern only takes girls fourteen and older. Count and Countess Saintonge are the instructors. Royalty! You should be happy! I’ve been assured that any girl who graduates from their housekeeping school will have no difficulty in finding a good position. You’ll be in Bern six months. You can pay me back when you come home and find a position.”

“Pay you back?”

His eyes cooled. “The tuition cost me 120 francs and another 30 francs for books. You should be pleased. You wanted to go to school.” His voice hardened. “You’re going!”

“This isn’t the kind of school I had in mind, Papa.” As well he knew!

“You’re so smart; let’s see you make the most of the opportunity I’m giving you. This is my thanks for Hermann passing his examinations. Who knows? If you do well enough in Bern, you might end up working at Schloss Thun!” The idea seemed to please him. “That would be something to boast about! You leave in three days.”

“But what about the Beckers, Papa? and the Zimmers and Gilgans?”

“I told them yesterday I was sending you to school. They said to wish you well.”

School! Marta fumed. Training to be a better servant was more like it.

Mama sat silent at the end of the table, hands in her lap. Angry, Marta looked at her. How could Mama look so serene? She remembered Mama’s plea. “Search out the usefulness… Count your blessings…”

She would be away from home for the first time. She would live in Bern. She wouldn’t have to look at Papa or listen to his constant complaints.

“Thank you, Papa. I look forward to it.”

Elise gave a soft cry and fled the table.

“What’s wrong with that girl now?” Papa muttered.

“Marta’s leaving home, Johann.”

“She’s coming back!” He waved his hand in exasperation. “It’s not as though she’s leaving for good. She’ll only be gone six months and then she’ll be home forever.”

The hair on the back of Marta’s neck rose. Forever.

As soon as Papa left the table, Mama asked Marta to find Elise. “She’ll probably be down by the creek. You know how she loves to listen to the water.”

Marta found her where the creek ran into the Zulg. She sat down beside her. “I have to go sometime, Elise.”

Elise clasped her knees against her chest and stared at the shimmering ripples below. “But Bern is so far away.” Her blue eyes filled with tears. “Do you want to go?”

“I’d rather be going to the university, but housekeeping school will have to do.”

“What will I do without you?” Tears slipped down Elise’s pale cheeks.

“What you always do.” Marta wiped the tears away. “Help Mama.”

“But I’ll be alone in our room at night. You know I’m afraid of the dark.”

“Let the cat sleep with you.”