been so long since I’d seen the sun, or the moon, or any other light that didn’t come from candles or nightlights. I lost track of the days. I used to be able to tell by the food that he brought for me, not anymore. Now I knew Caleb fed me whatever he felt I should eat, whenever he thought I should eat. I was losing it. If only I had some sense of time, I could…I don’t know…something.
Finally, I became so angry I pulled the nightlight out of the wall and threw it as hard as I could, hearing it break. I spent what felt like several hours crying in the pitch black darkness, afraid to unplug the nightlight in the bathroom and move it, because I probably wouldn’t be able to find the plug. I put my eyes near the bottom of the door, hoping I could see something, but all I saw was dark. I banged on the door with all my strength, screaming and crying, but no one came…no one cared. I stared into the dark wondering if death felt like this. I lay on my back, imagining myself in a coffin staring into nothingness, utterly forgotten. I think I even slept with my eyes open.
Though I couldn’t know for sure, it seemed as though Caleb’s visits to my room became more and more infrequent. Meanwhile, I became less and less unnerved by his presence – in fact, it became more soothing by the day. But he, on the other hand, seemed increasingly aggravated with me. More troubling, his anger often became my punishment and I was obsessed with avoiding them both. When he touched me, I strained to remain immobile. When he spoke to me, I said not a word. When I could not help but resist, I immediately begged his forgiveness. But the more I gave in, the crueler he became. I didn’t understand.
“Surrender,” he had said.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I had insisted.
I turned my head slightly, hearing something familiar. My hearing had gotten so good and it only took another second for me to know. Dishes. I sat up quickly, banging on the door. There was no response. I lay on my back, pressed the soles of my feet against the door and proceeded to do something I knew was stupid. I kicked at the door wildly, demanding he acknowledge me.
Again, there was no response. I started to panic in earnest. “Please!” I yelled. “It’s dark in here and I want to come out!” When I heard only silence I cried out in despair. “Caleb! Caleb…please open the door.” Nothing. That is, until someone kicked the door so hard I saw a flash of color. I scrambled backward, scared out of my mind. For once relieved the door was heavy, sturdy, and locked.
I had never been filled with more foreboding than when I heard the sound of a key turning in the lock. For the first time, I considered the dark an ally. I scrambled beneath the bed. It was an incredibly tight fit that left me pinned snugly, unable to turn my head between the floor and the box spring at my back. I held my breath as the door opened. The beat of my heart literally moved my entire body. I shut my eyes tightly, willing myself to another place. A voice in my head chastised me.
“What the fuck?” I heard him whisper. Relief was short lived as I realized it was Caleb who had entered my room. “Oh Kitten, what have we done now?” he taunted.
“I’m sorry,” I said, but I don’t think he heard me. The door shut. I listened…only my heartbeat.
There was rustling. I knew he moved about the room but I couldn’t discern where exactly he was until I heard his shoes against the tile of the bathroom floor. I bit into my lip so hard I tasted blood in my mouth. His voice filled the room. “Tell me something Kitten…”
His steps felt nearby.
“When exactly did you imagine yourself as…? My lover?” My heartbeat vibrated my skull.
“Was it the first time I made you come with my mouth? Or one of the many times since, that I’ve put you over my knee? You seem to like that.” I felt the bed dip above me with his weight.
Unfortunately, it was on the side I wasn’t facing. I was openly crying now. He knew where I was and he was toying with me.
“I’m sorry Master,” I whispered.
He scoffed, mocking my pathetic nature without a word. “If I drag you out it’ll be very painful. It’s best you manage on your own.” he crooned.
Sobbing, I told him I was going to come out, begging him already not to hurt me. I felt ridiculous, crawling on my belly like an animal. Crying, begging, unable to show any emotion but fear. And frustrated because once again, I had pretty much brought it on myself.
Once I was out he stood me up and pressed my head to his chest, rocking me back and forth gently. I gripped him tightly, both arms holding fast to his waist. It had become natural for me to seek shelter in his arms, even if he had just used them to hold me down to spank me. I told him repeatedly I would never to it again. I told him I was sorry. He sighed and held me closer, his lips against the shell of my ear, “You will be Kitten.” In a flash he pushed me face down onto the bed. I whimpered but didn’t struggle. I wanted to show him how obedient I could be, how sincere I was in my promise to never say his name again. To never assume we had that level of intimacy between us.
With deft fingers he managed to lock my wrists together between the bars of the headboard.
My body tensed, bracing itself. His weight left the bed. Then I heard him undressing. This was different. Very different.
I pulled against my restraints. “Please no.” I couldn’t resist saying.
He was slow in his preparation. I stared into the pitch black of surroundings, trying to catch a clear glimpse of him. My blood pounded in my ears and my fear was almost tangible in the air around me. His weight shifted the bed and I instantly knew there was no avoiding what was about to happen.
He laid his naked chest against my bare back, his weight all but crushing me. “Do you want to be my lover Kitten? Is that why you called to me by name?” I bucked wildly, trying to throw him off my back and pulling at my wrist straps. It was less than useless. I felt him grow hard between my thighs. I lay motionless. He was completely naked. He’d never been completely naked before. I sobbed into the sheets. He didn’t sound the least bit out of breath as he continued speaking against my ear. “I’ve made you come so many times, but not once have I made you return the favor. You have to earn the right to call me by name.”
“Master, please.” I cried out into the dark.
He pressed into me, his erection impossibly hot and hard between my trembling legs. “No, don’t call me that, not tonight. Call me by my name since you’re about to earn it.” I only cried harder.
He sighed, harsh, angry –
He rolled off of me, his large frame forcing the mattress to creak as he lay next to me. I couldn’t stop crying, though relief did wash over me. Why was he doing this!
He stroked my hair for a long time, touching my face with his fingertips. The bed creaked again as he repositioned his body to massage my back, my arms, and my legs, slowly, gently…
practiced. I cried softly into the bed, then not at all as he managed to lull me into an irrational sense of safety. I tensed all over when he lay his body back down over mine. He bade me over and over to relax. He kissed me everywhere, not like before, not angry. And God help me, it shouldn’t have made a difference, but somehow it did.
I had never been this close to a man before. I had never known how the heat of his bare body pressed against mine would affect me. I struggled against reflex. My body wanted to curl into him and my mind told me it would be a horrible mistake. What would it be like to touch him the way he touched me? Would he be as thoroughly under my spell as I seemed to be under his?
Despite my best efforts I lost myself in his gentle caresses, soft moans escaping my lips. His hand palmed my backside, squeezing, gently prying. I didn’t fight him. Not even when his fingers followed my crease over the curve of backside and spread the outer lips of my sex. Fear breached, but desire bloomed as he encountered the traitorous little knot hidden therein. I gave a start, but forced myself to settle into his touch. He’d done this to me before, used his fingers against that traitorous aperture to bring me to the heights of ecstasy. And he was right; he’d never asked the same of me. Not once. I needed this. I needed to forget everything, even if for a few minutes. He made me feel good, so good and it was difficult to resist when he’d only force me anyway. He rubbed me endlessly, wrenching the moans from my chest. It was coming, the tingling that led to the explosion.
“Open your legs,” he whispered, his throbbing cock rubbing against the outside of my thigh.
The thought of it made me moan more loudly than I ever had. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I only knew I needed to open my legs. “Wider,” he groaned and I obeyed.
I shivered uncontrollably as my orgasm gripped me from deep inside. I tilted my hips back, searching for his fingers, begging without words for a firmer touch. He gave me what I wanted and I clung to my orgasm as long as
