I nodded.
“You probably shouldn’t have told anyone,” she said. “There’s bound to be a fuss. They’ll want a trial and have to bring in the azzie from Temsford.”
“I didn’t tell them,” I said. “Krin did.”
“Ah,” she said.
The conversation lulled. I drank the last swallow out of my cup, but when I tried to set it on the table my hands were shaking so badly that it knocked against the wood, making a sound like an impatient visitor at the door.
Gran sipped calmly from her cup.
“I don’t care to talk about it,” I said at last. “It wasn’t a good thing.”
“Some folk might argue that,” she said gently. “I think you done the right thing.”
Her words brought a sudden hot ache behind my eyes, as if I were about to burst into tears. “I’m not so sure about that,” I said, my voice sounding strange in my own ears. My hands were shaking worse now.
Gran didn’t seem surprised by this. “You’ve had the bit in your teeth for a couple days now, haven’t you?” Her tone made it clear it wasn’t really a question. “I know the look. You’ve been keeping busy. Looking after the girls. Not sleeping. Probably not eating much.” She picked up the plate. “Eat your pudding. It will help to get some food in you.”
I ate the pudding. Halfway through, I began to cry, choking a bit as it stuck in my throat.
Gran refilled my cup with more tea and poured another dollop of brandy in on top of it. “Drink that down,” she repeated.
I took a swallow. I didn’t mean to say anything, but I found myself talking anyway. “I think there might be something wrong with me,” I said quietly. “A normal person doesn’t have it in him to do the things I do. A normal person would never kill people like this.”
“That may be,” she admitted, sipping from her own cup. “But what would you say if I told you Bil’s leg had gone a bit green and sweet smelling under that bandage?”
I looked up, startled. “He’s got the rot?”
She shook her head. “No. I told you he’s fine. But what if?”
“We’d have to cut the leg off,” I said.
Gran nodded seriously. “That’s right. And we’d have to do it quick. Today. No dithering about and hoping he’d fight his way through on his own. That wouldn’t do a thing but kill him.” She took a sip, watching me over the top of her cup, making it a question of sorts.
I nodded. I knew it was true.
“You’ve got some medicine,” she said. “You know that proper doctoring means hard choices.” She gave me an unflinching look. “We hain’t like other folk. You burn a man with an iron to stop his bleeding. You save the mother and lose the babe. It’s hard, and nobody ever thanks you for it. But we’re the ones that have to choose.”
She took another slow drink of tea. “The first few times are the worst. You’ll get the shakes and lose some sleep. But that’s the price of doing what needs to be done.”
“There were women too,” I said, the words catching in my throat.
Gran’s eyes flashed. “They earned it twice as much,” she said, and the sudden, furious anger in her sweet face caught me so completely by surprise that I felt prickling fear crawl over my body. “A man who would do that to a girl is like a mad dog. He hain’t hardly a person, just an animal needs to be put down. But a woman who helps him do it? That’s worse. She knows what she’s doing. She knows what it means.”
Gran put her cup down gently on the table, her expression composed again. “If a leg goes bad, you cut it off.” She made a firm gesture with the flat of her hand, then picked up her slice of pudding and began to eat it with her fingers. “And some folk need killing. That’s all there is to it.”
By the time I got myself under control and made it back outside, the crowd in the street had swelled. The local tavern keeper had rolled a barrel onto his front landing and the air was sweet with the smell of beer.
Krin’s father and mother had ridden back into town on the roan. Pete was there too, having run back. He offered up his unbroken head for my inspection and demanded his two pennies for services rendered.
I was warmly thanked by Krin’s parents. They seemed to be good people. Most people are if given the chance. I caught hold of the roan’s reins, and using him as a sort of portable wall I managed to get a moment of relatively private conversation with Krin.
Her dark eyes were a little red around the edges, but her face was bright and happy. “Make sure you get Lady Ghost,” I said, nodding to one of the horses. “She’s yours.” The mayor’s daughter would have a fair dowry no matter what, so I’d loaded Krin’s horse with the more valuable goods, as well as most of the false troupers’ money.
Her expression grew serious as she met my eyes, and again she reminded me of a young Denna. “You’re leaving,” she said.
I guess I was. She didn’t try to convince me to stay, and instead surprised me with a sudden embrace. After kissing me on the cheek she whispered in my ear, “Thank you.”
We stepped away from each other, knowing propriety would only allow so much. “Don’t sell yourself short and marry some fool,” I said, feeling as if I should say something.
“Don’t you either,” she said, her dark eyes mocking me gently.
I took Greytail’s reins and led her over to where the mayor stood, watching the crowd in a proprietary way. He nodded as I approached.
I drew a deep breath. “Is the constable about?”
He raised an eyebrow at this, then shrugged and pointed off into the crowd. “That’s him there. He was three-quarters drunk even before you brought our girls home, though. Don’t know how much use he’ll be to you now.”
“Well,” I said hesitantly. “I’m guessing someone is going to need to lock me up until you can get word to the azzie off in Temsford.” I nodded to the small stone building in the center of town.
The mayor looked sideways at me, frowning a bit. “You
“Not particularly,” I admitted.
“You can come and go as you please then,” he said.
“The azzie won’t be happy when he hears,” I said. “I’d rather not have anyone else go up against the iron law because of something I’ve done. Aiding in the escape of a murderer can be a hanging offense.”
The big man gave me a long looking over. His eyes lingered a bit on my sword, the worn leather of my boots. I could almost feel him noticing the lack of any serious wounds despite the fact that I’d just killed half a dozen armed men.
“So you’d let us just lock you up?” he asked. “Easy as that?”
I shrugged.
He frowned again, then shook his head as if he couldn’t make sense of me. “Well aren’t you just as gentle as a lamb?” he said wonderingly. “But no. I won’t lock you up. You haven’t done anything less than proper.”
“I broke that boy’s arm,” I said.
“Hmm,” he rumbled darkly. “Forgot about that.” He reached into his pocket and brought out ha’penny. He handed it to me. “Much obliged.”
I laughed as I put it in my pocket.
“Here’s my thought,” he said. “I’ll head over and see if I can find the constable. Then I’ll explain to him we’ve got to lock you up. If you’ve slipped off in the middle of this confusion, we wouldn’t hardly be aiding in the escape, would we?”
“It would be negligence in maintenance of the law,” I said. “He might take a few lashes for it, or lose his post.”
“Shouldn’t come to that,” the mayor said. “But if it does, he’ll be happy to do it. He’s Ellie’s uncle.” He looked out at the crowd on the street. “Will fifteen minutes be enough for you to slip off in all the confusion?”
“If it’s all the same to you,” I said. “Could you say I disappeared in a strange and mysterious way when your back was turned?”
