ladder.
“Well, for one thing,” I tell Izzy, “my clientele used to be alive.”
“Live, schmive,” he says, handing me a spleen. “With all that anesthesia, they might as well have been dead. They didn’t talk to you, did they?”
“Well, no, but—”
“So it’s really no different, is it? Here, hold this back.” He directs my hand toward a pile of lower intestine and sets about severing the last few connections. “I don’t think it’s this job that’s bothering you. I think you miss Dr. Wonderful.”
Dr. Wonderful is Dr. David Winston, who is not only chief of surgery at Mercy Hospital but also my husband, at least until I get the divorce papers filed.
“You do miss him, don’t you?” Izzy persists.
“No, I don’t.”
“Not even the sex?”
“There’s more to life than sex.” I utter this with great nonchalance despite the fact that Izzy has hit a sore spot. During the last few months of my marriage, sex ranked just below plucking my eyebrows and cleaning out the toilet bowl on my list of things to do. Now that I no longer have the option—unless I want to don some stilettos and a tube top and cruise the streets—my libido seems to be growing by leaps and bounds.
Izzy shakes his head in wonder as he hands me a kidney. “See, that’s the difference between men and women. Men, we always miss the sex.”
“Good,” I say bitterly. “I hope David is missing it like crazy.”
“It doesn’t look like he’s missing it at all.”
My heart does a funny beat, almost as if it’s echoing the
He sighs and shakes his head.
“Do you know something, Izzy? If you do, spit it out.”
“You mean you haven’t seen the woman who’s been coming over to your…to David’s house the past few nights?”
His quick correction stings, but not as much as his information does. I’ve been consoling myself ever since the split-up with an image of David pining away for me…regretful, sad, and lonely. The only communication we’ve had since I left is one long rambling, remorseful note, in which David apologized exactly nine times and swore his undying devotion to me. Izzy’s suggestion that my side of the marital bed had barely grown cold before someone else moved in to heat it up—and I have a pretty good idea who that someone else is—brings tears to my eyes.
“No, I haven’t seen any woman,” I tell him, struggling for a tone of casual indifference. “But that’s because I haven’t looked. It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t care what…or who David does anymore.”
“Oh, okay.”
I can tell from Izzy’s tone that he isn’t buying it, but I’m determined not to ask him what I’m dying to know. We begin taking sections from the organs we’ve removed, Izzy doing the slicing and dicing, me placing the carved pieces into specimen bottles as an awkward silence stretches between us. As soon as we are finished with each organ, I place it back inside the body cavity. After several minutes of this I finally cave in.
“All right, you win. Tell me. Was it her?”
He shrugs. “I’ve never met her. What does she look like?”
His question hurls me back some two months in time and the memory, as always, triggers a flush of humiliation. Back then, David and I both worked in the OR at the local hospital. Despite working in the same place, we rarely did cases together, agreeing that it was wise to try to separate our professional lives from our private ones so the dynamics of one wouldn’t interfere with the intimacy of the other. That’s the story I bought into, anyway, though since then I’ve wondered if David’s motivation was something else entirely.
Things came to a head on a day when David had a heavy load of regular surgeries coupled with several emergency cases. He called late in the evening to say he still had one more case to do and that he planned to crash at the hospital for the night. It was something he’d done before—usually because he had an unstable patient he was worried about—so it didn’t raise any alarms with me.
Knowing how much he hated hospital food, I threw together a goody basket for him: some munchies for later that night and some fruit and muffins for in the morning. I didn’t call to tell him I was coming because I figured he’d already be in the middle of his surgery. Besides, I wanted to surprise him.
He was surprised, all right, but not half as much as I was when I found the surgical area dark, quiet, and apparently deserted except for a dim light emanating from a small operating room at the end of the hall. Inside the room I found David with Karen Owenby, one of the other surgery nurses. David was leaning back against an OR table, his scrub pants down around his ankles, a look of ecstasy stamped on his face. Karen was kneeling in front of him, wholeheartedly vying for the title of head nurse.
As the image sears its way across my brain for the millionth time, I squeeze my eyes closed in anger.
“Is she really
“Uglier,” I tell him. “She has horns growing out of her head and snakes for hair.”
Izzy chuckles. “You know what you need?”
“For Richard Gere to fall madly in love with me and be my gigolo?”
“No, you need some excitement.”
Apparently catching my husband taking his oral exam in the OR isn’t excitement enough.
“Yep,” Izzy says with a decisive nod. “You just need a little excitement. After all, isn’t that what drew you to medicine? The life-and-death pace, the high emotional stakes, the drama?”
We are done with our sampling and the woman’s organs are all back in her body, though not in any kind of order. I stare at them a moment, thinking they vaguely resemble that package of stuff you find hidden behind the ass flap on a turkey. It’s a definite offense to my surgical sensibilities and I have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter—the woman is dead.
“I think I’ve had quite enough drama for one lifetime,” I tell him.
“No way. You’re an adrenaline junkie. You thrive on excitement. That’s why you liked working at the hospital.” He steps down from the stool he has to use in order to reach the table, kicks it toward the woman’s head, and climbs up again. Then he positions his scalpel just above her right ear.
“There’s really not
“True, but you were never happy in the OR. The place where you were happy was the ER. You should have stayed there.”
“I liked the OR just fine,” I argue.
He responds with a look that tells me the alarm on his bullshit detector is screeching. And I have to admit, he’s right. The OR was okay, but I
Well, that and the infamous nipple incident.
“Okay,” I concede. “Maybe I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie.”
“And like any junkie, if you don’t get a fix from time to time, you get edgy and irritable.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s PMS, Izzy.”
“So I have an idea,” he says, ignoring my brilliant rejoinder. Having sliced across the top of the woman’s head from one ear to the other, he now grabs the front edge of this incision and pulls the entire scalp forward, exposing the skull. It is shiny and white except for a large clot of blood that clings to the right temporal lobe. From the X-rays we did earlier, I know that beneath that clot we’ll find pieces of broken bone and an indentation in the skull that’s roughly the same size and shape as a hammer—the weapon her drunken, jealous husband used to kill her.
Izzy pauses to snap a few pictures with the digital camera, and then says, “Part of my job is determining the cause and manner of any suspicious deaths in the county, and only part of that is gleaned from the autopsy. There’s also investigative work that needs to be done at the scene of the death and afterward.”
He sets the camera aside and folds his arms over his chest. “You know, your position here can go one of two ways. You can keep working as a morgue assistant, which is basically what you’re doing now, or you can function
