I nod, though we both know I might never be okay again. I spent the ride home trying to make the facts add up to something other than the inevitable conclusion, but it was like trying to prove that two plus two equals five, an exercise I failed in my high school algebra class and can’t seem to master any better now. Still I keep trying, unable—or maybe unwilling—to accept the obvious.
I can’t even harbor any last hopes that Cinder might have mistaken someone else for David. She described him to a tee and when I showed her a picture from my wallet that was a group shot of David and me with Desi, Lucien, and two other couples, Cinder picked David out without hesitation.
I am struggling to accept the fact that the man I married, the man I thought I knew, is involved in all of this. I find it hard to believe that I’ve been so blind, so utterly clueless all this time.
I am appalled, confused, and furious. I want to scream, hit someone, kick someone, or
I lean over and give Dom a quick buss on the cheek. “I’ll holler really loud if I need anything, okay?”
“Okay, I’ll be listening. Hey, why don’t you come over and have breakfast with me in the morning?”
“Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be very good company.”
“Since when does that stop you?”
Despite the vicious storm roiling inside me, I smile. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll be better off alone for now, Dom.”
“I’ll make Belgian waffles.”
Dom’s Belgian waffles are legendary, the stuff culinary wet dreams are made of. The fact that his offer doesn’t make me instantly start to salivate proves just how upset I am.
“Please, Mattie? I’m kind of lonely with Izzy gone and I’d really enjoy your company, bitchy or not. Besides, I want to know what happens with Mr. Gold Star over there,” he says, nodding toward Hurley.
I know Dom is no more lonely than he is straight, but I am touched by his efforts nonetheless. “Okay, fine. You win. I’ll see you in the morning.”
As I step out of the garage and walk toward Hurley, I concentrate on keeping my face impassive. My breath clouds before me as I sigh, and I wonder why Hurley is sitting outside on my steps rather than in his car, given that the temperature is hovering somewhere in the midforties.
“Aren’t you cold?” I ask him when I am a few feet away.
“I seem to be rather hot at the moment,” he says, his voice tight. “I get that way whenever someone tries to make me for a fool.”
“Who did that?” Pure innocence.
“Give it up, Mattie. You sicced that…creature on me on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Whatever are you talking about? You’ve lost me, Hurley.”
“No, I’d say it was you who lost me. And nicely done at that. Distract me by having some she-male try to rape me in public and then sneak out the back door. Very clever.”
“I left out the front door.”
“It’s a figure of speech,” he says irritably. “And you know what I mean. Where’d you go?”
“Dom and I stopped at another bar for a nightcap.”
“Bullshit.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“Gee, I don’t know. Have you ever lied to me?” he snaps back.
I don’t want to play any longer. Generally I enjoy Hurley’s presence, not to mention the opportunity to just look at him. And that kiss we shared is still hot on my mind. But discovering that the man I’ve been married to for the last seven years had a romantic liaison with not only another woman, but with an HIV-infected man, doesn’t exactly put me in the mood for romance. I need to be alone.
“Go away, Hurley. I don’t want to play your games tonight.” I storm past him and onto the porch. I unlock the door, push it open, reach in, and flip the light switch. I am about to look back to make sure Hurley is leaving when I see what awaits me in the living room.
“What the—”
Hurley comes up behind me and leans in over my shoulder. The two of us stand there, staring, trying to make sense of what we are seeing.
My living room floor is covered with dozens of white fluffy tufts, like some sort of cotton batting. It looks as if someone murdered a small mattress by blowing it to smithereens. Except most of these chunks of stuffing have strings attached. Scattered amidst the tufts are tiny pieces of shredded paper, some with blue writing on them. I tilt my head to read a fairly large piece near my foot, making out the letters
Hurley reaches down and picks up one of the malformed tufts by its string. He holds it aloft, staring at it. “What the hell is this?” he asks.
“It’s a tampon, Hurley. Don’t tell me you’ve never seen one before.”
He drops it as if it burned him and takes a quick step back.
“Geez, Hurley, relax. They haven’t been used or anything.”
His face turns a bright shade of crimson and suddenly I know how to get him to leave. I lean over and pick up the mutilated tampon he just dropped.
“Want me to explain how it works?” I say, swinging it by the string like a hypnotist’s watch. I step closer.
He backs up another step. “No, really. That’s not necessary. I…um…I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Everything looks fine here so I guess I’ll be on my way. Good night.”
He spins around and is gone so fast I start to wonder if he was ever really here. Seconds later his car engine fires up and I listen to the sound of it fading as he goes down the driveway. When he reaches the road, I hear him lay down rubber as he peels out.
Oddly, the sound brings tears to my eyes. I brush them away and begin rationalizing to myself.
I hear a mew followed by a
After tossing and turning most of the night, I give up on trying to sleep once the sun comes up. I feel edgy and hung-over, so I make a pot of coffee and sit on the couch, trying to figure out what to do next. I realize I’m going to have to confront David, and the thought of doing so fills me with both sadness and dread.
A little after eight, I head over to the main house, knowing Dom will be up and about by now. Half an hour later we are seated at the kitchen table, our plates heaped with fluffy waffles smothered with fat strawberries and mounds of whipped cream. Bright morning sunshine streams in through the window in stark contrast to the darkness inhabiting my soul.
“Thank you for insisting I come over here this morning, Dom. Being alone wasn’t as good for me as I thought it would be.”
“Did you get any sleep?”
I answer him with a weak smile.
“Didn’t think you would.”
“I just can’t believe it,” I say, shaking my head. “I mean, forget the risk to me. David is a surgeon, for God’s sake. He’s routinely messing with other people’s bodily fluids and delicate organs. Doesn’t he realize what could happen? What the hell was he thinking?”
“Sounds like he wasn’t thinking,” Dom says. There is a period of silence and then he adds, “Assuming he did what you think he did.”
I look up at him, my mouth hanging open in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you’re going to defend the bastard.”