Redshirts

had that feeling compounded by the knowledge that how you feel about them is exactly how they feel about you, right down to the very last atom of your being? Have you?”

“Not really,” Duvall said.

“I pity you,” he said, and then headed back to the hotel room.

“You had to ask,” Hester said to Duvall.

“I was curious,” Duvall said. “Sue me.”

“Now I have images,” Hester said. “They are in my mind. They will never leave me. I blame you.”

“It’s certainly a side of Kerensky we haven’t seen before,” Dahl said. “I never saw him being interested in men.”

“It’s not that,” Hanson said.

“Did you miss the last couple of hours?” Hester said. “And the thumping?”

“No, Jimmy’s right,” Duvall said. “He’s not interested in men. He’s interested in himself. Always has been. Now he’s gotten the chance to follow through on that.”

“Ack,” Hester said.

Duvall looked over at him. “Wouldn’t you, if you had the chance?” she asked.

“I didn’t,” Dahl pointed out.

“Yes, but we already established you’re a prude,” Duvall said.

Dahl grinned. “Point,” he said.

The elevator opened and Corey came out, followed by Kerensky. Corey walked up to Dahl. “I need your phone number,” he said. “So I can call you when I set up the meeting today.”

“All right,” Dahl said, and gave it to him. Corey added it to his contacts and then looked at them all.

“I want you to appreciate what I’m doing for you,” he said. “By getting you this meeting, I’m putting my ass on the line. So if you do anything that puts me or my career at risk, I swear I will find you and make you miserable for the rest of your lives. Are you all clear on this?”

“We’re clear,” Dahl said. “Thank you.”

“I’m not doing it for you,” Corey said, and then nodded over to Kerensky. “I’m doing it for him.”

“Thank you anyway,” Dahl said

“Also, if anyone asks, the reason you guys were helping me into my car last night is because I had an allergic reaction to the tannins in the wine I was drinking at the Vine Club,” Corey said.

“Of course,” Dahl said.

“That’s the truth, you know,” Corey said. “People are allergic to all sorts of things.”

“Yes,” Dahl said.

“You didn’t see if anyone was taking video while you were putting me into the car, did you?” Corey asked.

“There might have been a couple,” Dahl allowed.

Corey sighed. “Tannins. Remember it.”

“Will do,” Dahl said.

Corey nodded at Dahl, and then walked over to Kerensky and enveloped him in a passionate hug. Kerensky reciprocated.

“I wish we had more time,” Corey said.

“So do I,” Kerensky said. They hugged again and separated. Corey walked out of the lobby. Kerensky watched him go.

“Wow,” Hester said. “You’ve got it bad, Kerensky.”

Kerensky wheeled around. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Hester held up his hands. “Look, I’m not judging,” he said.

“Judging what?” Kerensky said, and looked at the others. “What? You all think I had sex with Marc?”

“Didn’t you?” Duvall asked.

“We talked,” Kerensky said. “The most amazing conversation I have ever had with anyone in my entire life. It was like meeting the brother I never had.”

“Come on, Anatoly,” Hester said. “We heard thumps.”

“Marc was putting on his pants,” Kerensky said. “I gave him back his pants, and he was still unsteady, and he fell over. That was it.”

“All right,” Hester said. “Sorry.”

“Jesus,” Kerensky said, looking around. “You people. I have one of the most incredible experiences I’ll ever have, talking with the one person who really gets me—who really understands me—and you’re all down here thinking I’m performing some sort of time- traveling incestuous masturbation thing. Thanks so very much for crapping on my amazing, life-altering experience. You all make me sick.” He stormed off.

“Well, that was interesting,” Duvall said.

Kerensky stormed back in and pointed at Maia. “And we’re through,” he said.

“Fair enough,” Duvall said. Kerensky stormed off a second time.

“I’d just like to point out that I was right,” Dahl said, after a minute. Duvall walked over and smacked him on the head.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Charles Paulson’s private offices were in Burbank, off the studio lot, in a building that housed three other production companies, two agencies, a tech start-up and a nonprofit dedicated to fighting thrush. Paulson’s offices filled the third floor; the group took the elevator.

“I shouldn’t have eaten that last burrito,” Hester said as they entered the elevator, a pained look on his face.

“I told you not to,” Hanson said.

“You also said that the twenty-first century had food safety laws,” Hester said.

“I don’t think food safety laws are going to protect you from a third carnitas burrito,” Hanson said. “That’s not about food safety. It’s about pork fat overload.”

“I need a bathroom,” Hester said.

“Can this wait?” Dahl said, to Hester. The elevator reached the third floor. “This is kind of an important meeting.”

“If I don’t find a bathroom, you’re not going to want me at the meeting,” Hester said. “Because what would happen would be grim.”

The elevator doors opened and the five of them stepped off. Down the hallway to the right was a sign for the men’s bathroom. Hester made his way toward it, quickly but stiffly, and disappeared through its door.

“How long do you think this is going to take?” Duvall asked Dahl. “Our meeting is in about a minute.”

“Have you ever had a carnitas incident?” Dahl asked Duvall.

“No,” Duvall said. “And from the looks of it I should be glad.”

“He’ll probably be in there a while,” Dahl said.

“We can’t wait,” Kerensky said.

“No,” Dahl said.

“You guys go ahead,” Hanson said. “I’ll stay and make sure Hester’s all right. We’ll wait for you in the office lobby when he’s done.”

“You’re sure?” Dahl asked.

“I’m sure,” Hanson said. “Hester and I were just going to be spectators in the meeting anyway. We can wait in the lobby just as easily, and read magazines. It’s always fun to catch up on three-hundred-and-fifty-year-old gossip.”

Dahl smiled at this. “All right,” he said. “Thanks, Jimmy.”