gets.'
Tony hadn't called in a couple of weeks and I was about to start night duty, but I wasn't sure if I cared if I heard from him or not. Most of our dates had been spent in bed, with very little socializing or any other kind of activity.
'Look'' I said, the last time he came over. 'Could we do something else besides screw for a change?'
'What? You don't want to?'
'It's hot in here and it's been a long, boring week, okay? I'd like to get out and see something maybe, or at least go to the club and dance.'
'Surel- we can go dance if you want to, but there's plenty of time before that-'
'Tony-', 'Baby, I'm risking my life up there,' he said, slipping his hands up under my shirt and bra and nuzzling my neck. 'Who knows? I might not come back next time.'
Eventually we did go dancing, but it was one of those nights when the band played line dances and the fast kind that I love. Tony danced one or two but then sat in the corner talking helicopters with one of the other men from his company. When I sat down, sweating and happy, he said, 'Do you have to show off all the time? Why can't you just sit here with me and talk and have a drink?'
'Because I don't know anything about helicopters and, frankly, they're not that interesting to me,' I said. 'You're not the only one who needs to recharge when you're off duty, you know. I put in long days too.'
'Don't I make you happy, baby?'
The argument was conducted in fierce whispers and nonetheless we were drawing a little attention. 'Tony, you're a fantastic lover, but sometimes I think it's not me you love at all-I keep getting the feeling you wish I were somebody else entirely, someone who is quiet and demure and keeps her place. Probably somebody who doesn't work a twelve-hour day. Well, I'm not. I'm me. And'-I threw in a line from an old blues song, because it fit-'And if you don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree, okay?'
He slammed down his drink. 'Okay. Excuse me, I think I'd better get back to the unit. I may be needed there.
I didn't know whether I was madder at him for treating me like a whore who wasn't due any consideration or for spoiling my off-duty time. He was just jealous of the attention I got, I thought. He was used to being in the middle of things himself and couldn't take it that in this situation any woman would be more interesting to the vast majority of the population than any man. And that emotional blackmail crap about how he might not come back. The creep! After a week, I calmed down and realized that maybe some of it could have been my fault. I had to admit I recognized that he wanted me to be somebody else because I couldn't help wishing he were somebody else too.
Wednesday evening he called. 'Hi, babe. How's it going?'
'Fine,' I said. 'How've you been?'
I've missed you. You're off tomorrow, aren't you? How about if I come over?'
'It's my sleep day,' I said. 'If I don't sleep, I won't be any good at work tomorrow night.'
'You can sleep some of the time,' he said.
'I don't think so, Tony.'
'We had a couple of close calls this week, baby.........
'I'm sorry. Please be a little more careful. Maybe you could use the rest, too. Tony, we need to have a talk sometime soon, but I have to have tomorrow to think, okay?'
'Yeah. Sure. See ya,' he said, and hung up.
Then, of course, I couldn't sleep that night, so I padded over to ICU to see how busy Carole was. She was bored stiff, sitting at the desk reading while her corpsmen played cards.
'Jesus, McCulley, what's wrong with you?'
I told her. 'I don't want to break up with him, Carole, but dammit, if we're going to spend every free moment together I occasionally want to talk about something besides which position we should assume next and whether I came or not.'
'I see where that would get old. Tom and I talk about everything. I dunno, Kitty, there are other fish in the sea, of course, but not many as sexy as Tony.'
'I know. That's the whole problem.'
'If he calls tomorrow are you going to let him come over?'
'No. It'll just be the same old thing. I don't think I'll be able to sleep, but I sure don't want to spend another goddamn day on post.
Besides, if I'm here and he calls I'll give in. Want to go to the beach?'
'Can't. I'm having my own summit conference.'
'If you hear of anyone going, let me know. I've got to get out of here.
The last time I did anything interesting was the flying crane ride.'
'Poor baby,' Carole said, then chewed on her pencil awhile. 'Hey, what's tomorrow? Thursday? Why not go on the medcap mission? I know it sounds like a drag to work on your day off, but if you don't mind losing the sleep-'
'So who can sleep? You're a genius, Swenson. I'll tell you all about it.'
'well, look who's here,' Charlie Heron said affably. 'Bac Jvst Joe, how's it going? Nice you could come, Lieutenant. Climb in, climb in.
Lieutenant, you want to sit up front?'
He motioned to the ovenlike cab of a deuce- and-a-half.
'No thanks,' I said. 'I'll ride back here with the rest of the troops.'
'Suit yourself,' he said, and climbed in beside Joe.
The doctor and I hadn't exactly planned to come as a team, but the slow ward work had gotten to both of us. I met him as we were walking toward the gate that morning. Joe walked briskly and happily, a large camera and lens case around his neck. Photography was his other pet hobby, besides carpentry and orthopedic surgery.
'Hi, Geppetto,' I said. 'You don't mean to say that Marge is letting you go for the day, too?'
'Ma ings rge knows more about those folks than I do, by now. Th' have been too slow. Got to go drum up business or I'll get rusty. Bob Blum can handle any emergencies that come in. I want to see a village,' he said. 'Do you think a wide angle and a telescopic will be enough lenses?'
'That'll feed two families after the kids steal them from you, and the camera will probably feed half the village, so-'
'You're as funny as a broken leg, Lieutenant McCulley, you know that?
Speaking of broken legs, what's that limp about?' He cast an expert eye on my size nines.
'I don't know. Feels like I might have a rock in my boot.'
By then we were at the truck and being hailed by Heron. I wasn't that thrilled to see him. But even though his tone had been carefully indifferent, I could tell he was glad to see me there. Cathie Peterson, from ICU, came along too. She was already in the cab of the truck when Joe and I arrived.
A young Marine corporal helped me into the truck. 'Glad you could make it, ma'am,' he said. 'The villagers are always glad to see you nupses.
You don't know how much they appreciate it.'
I looked around at all the Marine camouflage fatigues in the truck. 'I didn't know the Medical Civic Action Team was a Marinesponsored thing,'
I said. The truck bucked into action and rumbled through Dogpatch and out onto the highway.
A swarthy sergeant whose name tag said 'Hernandez' and who had swung up into the truck behind me after making sure all personnel and gear were aboard, said, 'Yes, ma'am. This one is. Though it started with Special Forces as a PSYOPS mission. Most of these men been out in the bush the best part of their tour. They're short-three or four months to go. They finish up the tour working in the villages.'
'You mean they come off of combat duty and go right out on medical missions?' I asked, feeling a little uneasy about it. These men could as easily have been the numbed, miserable-looking wounded who cycled through the wards, enthusing about nothing but the joys of bayoneting gooks and how the difference between a VC and a friendly was how fast the individual in question could run. If the human target escaped, it was friendly. If it died, it had to be VC.
'Yes, ma'am. Sergeant Heron handpicked them.'
I had to digest that. Although most of the men surrounding us were marines, and there were certainly a lot of decent guys among them, there'd been a couple of nasty incidents early in my tour at the 83rd that made me question the kind of training they had. Lindy Hopkins had come steaming off the ward one night, slammed into Carole's hooch, and sat there crying. 'Those bastards. Those goddamn bastards.'
'Take it easy, Lindy. What the hell's the matter?' Carole asked. She and I had been sitting around talking. Lindy worked on ICU with Carole.
'They brought her in-she was just a kid-eleven years old and they raped her-'
'Who?'
'The seven big strong marines who brought her in. They raped her till-till they broke her spine. She's going to be paralyzed, Carole. An eleven-year-old kid. And then the sons of bitches had the gall to ask when visiting hours were!'
Another time another marine tried to break into Judy's hooch at night to rape her. Fortunately, Judy's got great lungs.
So I was not crazy about marines. Maybe the only reason I associated marines with the vicious and cruel
