dinner,” she whispered.
“Risolli’s. Risolli’s is where you want to go for dinner.”
“Risolli’s is a heart attack in the making,” she said automatically.
“They have salads. Just think about it. And while you’re thinking…” He wrapped his arms around her, all the way around her from behind. “Think about this,” he said.
The hold was almost an exact replication of how she’d been grabbed that night and she froze.
She heard the pathetic little ragtag whimper drag up from her throat. “Dell.”
“I know,” Dell murmured very softly. “It’s an aggressive move, and your heart’s pounding and you’re probably hardly able to hear me over the roar of the blood in your ears but listen to me, Jade. It’s just me, and you have nothing to be afraid of with me. Break free.”
“I can’t.”
“Goddess Jade doesn’t know the meaning of the word. Fight, Jade. Do whatever you have to do to get loose. You don’t have to be a victim.”
A moment ago she’d been happy to have him at her back but now that he was using it on her it was a different story entirely. She could feel the strength in his arms, the heat of him behind her and could hardly breathe.
He didn’t rush her, just gave her that same, steady patience he gave his animals. But she wasn’t an animal, and she couldn’t turn off her brain. This wasn’t going to work. “Dell,” she said hoarsely, the panic choking her. “Please-”
“First rule of self-defense. Stay calm and think as the situation develops.”
Calm was out of the question. Not with flashbacks making her vision blurry. Or maybe that was the lack of air since she was holding her breath.
“Second rule, show no fear or hesitation.”
Right. She’d get right on that.
“Breathe, Jade.” He brushed his jaw to hers. “Come on, tough girl,” he murmured softly, in direct opposition to the tight, unforgiving hold he had on her. “You can do this. There are many ways, but we’ll take it one at a time. I’m a bad guy. How do you get away from me?”
“I don’t know!” she cried, her hands coming up to grip his arm around her waist. But all that did was remind her of just how strong he was.
“The human skull is a powerful weapon all on its own,” he said. “Don’t waste your time trying to step on my toes or elbowing me in the ribs. None of those moves will do anything but piss someone off. Bash my face with the back of your head.”
“Connect once, maybe twice with your attacker’s face or collarbone and you’ll deliver some serious damage, trust me. Do it.”
“Jade.” Dell was saying her name, quietly but firmly, in a voice that demanded she pay attention. “Jade, you can do this. As soon as the adrenaline kicks in, everything will seem to happen in slow motion. If you stay calm, your mind will process thoughts so rapidly that it will even seem like you’ve got hours to make a decision on how to react.”
She closed her eyes and tried to fall into her adrenaline instead of fighting it. She didn’t manage until he tightened his grip. Then she drew in a breath and snapped her head back.
Dell dodged to the side, but she still managed to hit him on the cheekbone, and he immediately dropped his hold on her.
Spinning around, she stared at him, horrified.
But when he straightened, he was smiling. “Nice.” He lifted his hand to touch his cheekbone, already reddened.
“Oh my God. I hurt you.”
“That’s the point,” he reassured her, looking proud. “It works, Jade. Every time. I was only able to dodge it because I knew you were going to do it. With the element of surprise, you’ll break anyone’s hold on you.”
“Anyone’s?”
“You have to be confident. You have to picture it. You have to believe it. But yeah. Anyone’s. Now can we get some pizza? Adam’s a fucking diva when he’s hungry.”
She let out a breath, marveling over what she’d just done, more than a little desperate to believe. It’d been a long time since she hadn’t worried about the shadows and the boogeyman. She thought she was good at hiding it but apparently not. She’d seen the look Adam and Dell had exchanged. It wasn’t a new look, she saw it every time they dealt with a hurt or abused animal. It was their protect-theinnocent-animal look.
She hated that she was the hurt animal. Hated.
At least they hadn’t pressed her to talk about it, hadn’t called her out on her undeniably odd and peculiar behavior-at least not really-and for that, she’d been eternally grateful.
But she was pretty sure her pass was over.
“There are more moves, Jade,” Dell said. “I can show you how to break the hold if you’re grabbed from the front, too, and lots of other self-defense tactics.”
The power of that surged through her and overcame her embarrassment and shame. “Really?”
“Sure. After a couple of months of practice, you’ll be in lean, mean fighting-machine shape.”
A couple of months… “Dell. I’ve told you, I’m leaving at the end of the month.”
His expression didn’t change. “You’ve said that before and not gone back.”
Oh God. Is that what he believed? That she wasn’t leaving? “This time I am. I have to.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Fine. You still have a month.” His face was still calm. Controlled. “We’ll make it work.”
Nine
Once again Dell rolled out of bed before dawn. He showered and headed out. Way out, passing through Sunshine, past Belle Haven and into the hills.
She was leaving. By the time the first snow hit, Jade would be gone. He felt more for her than he wanted, way more, so it was just as well that she was leaving.
Shaking his head at that ridiculous logic, he kept driving. Forty-five minutes later and light-years away from anything remotely resembling a town, he pulled to a stop. He got out of his truck, waving some of the dust away from his face. The road out here was always a dust storm, every single time. Grabbing his bag, he headed toward the double-wide.
The trailer had been here for as long as he could remember, sitting square on thirty acres of absolutely nothing.
He came every week. Nila didn’t ask him to. She wouldn’t.
But he came, anyway.
He couldn’t explain why. Adam thought he was crazy, but he never said a word about it.
