Animal Attraction

fence.”

“Well, that’s a relief. I don’t like white fences.”

“Dell.”

She’d been serious, and he could admit a huge relief that she felt so strongly about not getting attached. Getting attached to him was never a good idea. He hurt people that way because he didn’t get attached back.

Ever.

He was pretty sure he was missing the attachment gene. Then he realized Lilah had said something to him several times and he’d missed it all. She was now staring at him with open amusement.

“I said,” she repeated patiently, “like someone else we know.”

“Huh?”

She patted him on the shoulder. “I said Beans is coming along nicely, too. Like someone else we both know.” She paused. “She looks good today. Happy.”

“Beans?”

“Don’t be stupid, Dell.”

Right. He busied himself with the chart, knowing exactly why Jade was happy. It was called multiple orgasms.

“Probably you never even looked in a mirror this morning,” Lilah said, running her fingers through his hair fondly, then giving up when she couldn’t get it in any sort of order that pleased her. “But you’re wearing a matching expression.”

“I’m always happy.”

“Not always,” she said. “Let’s talk about it.”

“Let’s not.”

“Oh, come on! Obviously something’s up.”

“Your hormone levels. You should have them checked.”

She rolled her eyes, then her smile faded. “Seriously, Dell.”

“Oh Christ, Lilah. You have a fiance now. Bug him with this emotional shit.”

“You know Jade’s leaving.” Lilah’s eyes held worry, for the both of them. “What’s going to happen then?”

“Nothing.”

She stared at him. “Nothing? What do you mean, nothing?”

She was the closest thing he had to a sister. Which probably explained the urge to wrap his fingers around her neck. “Does Brady realize how annoying you are?”

“Yes, and he loves me, anyway. Dell, we have to do something.”

“We?”

“Yes. Clearly you need my help.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Oh, for chrissake.” She clapped a hand to either side of his face and made him look at her. “You get that this isn’t just about Jade’s issues, right? That your abandonment issues are coming into play here, too?”

He stepped back from her. “What? I don’t have-”

“Hello! You were abandoned by your mother, your father, then a handful of idiotic foster care providers, Sol, and every single bonehead bimbo you’ve ever dated, and now Jade if she really leaves as planned. So yeah. You do, Dell. You have abandonment issues.”

Dell looked out the door. No one was paying them any attention but he shut it anyway. “Okay, first of all, my dad died. Sol died. They didn’t leave me on purpose.”

“It’s still abandonment.”

“Lilah,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re wrong. And I have people. I have Adam and Brady.”

“Because they’re the same as you, you’re just all so frigging stubborn, you stick together like glue.”

Okay, that might be true. “The women,” he said, continuing his defense. “I’ve always been the one to walk away from any woman in my life.”

“Yes. You’ve made sure of it. Walking the walk, talking the talk, but keeping it all deceptively shallow and casual so that you’re alone. You’ve made sure of it. Because then you aren’t going to get hurt.”

He stared at her. “If I’m so busy being alone, why are you still in my life?”

“Because I’m a bully.” She smiled and hugged him. “Oh, Dell. You’ve always been there for me, you’ve helped me so much. I love you, you know.”

He sighed. “I love you, too.”

“Then, for once, let me help you.”

It’d be easier to just bash his head in.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Let her in.”

He’d deny that as a possibility but there was a problem with that. Because he was pretty sure Jade was already in. All the way in.

In general, Dell was excellent at compartmentalizing, and he could reason and logic away most problems with little trouble. So it was frustrating that he found himself unable to do that with Jade, especially after Lilah’s visit earlier. His day ran long. He lost track of how many dogs, kittens, and various other creatures he saw.

Let her in…

Dell trusted Lilah, but he wasn’t altogether sure she knew what she was talking about this time. Both Keith and Mike had left when Jade appeared in his office doorway. “I need you a sec.”

He followed her down the hall to… the supply cabinets?

She touched the drug lockup. “I just checked to make sure it was locked up for the night,” she said quietly, turning her back to him to stare at the cabinet. “And it made me wonder if I’m better.” She put her hands on the locked door and bowed her head slightly. “Do it,” she whispered. “Attack me again.”

Again? “Jade.” Her name felt like it was torn from his throat. “I-”

“Do it!”

There was a terrible pause where he’d have sworn he heard her heart pounding from where he stood. With a sick feeling deep in his gut, he came up behind her just as Adam came into the room.

Jade froze. Dell felt the change in her instantly and glanced at Adam, who stopped where he was.

Jade’s breath hitched.

“It’s just me,” Dell said quietly to her. “You can do this. Remember how I showed you in my gym.” He stepped closer, into her space now. A strand of her hair stuck to the stubble on his jaw and then she trembled, killing him. “Jade-”

“Shh.” Dropping her head to the cabinet, she spoke to herself. “It’s easier in the gym. It’s less real.”

“We don’t have to do this-”

“Yes, we do. Someone’s still hitting vet clinics.”

At the realization that she didn’t feel safe here in his place, a helpless fury rushed him. “Jade-”

“Please, Dell? I want to do this here, in the real world, until I don’t want to throw up at the thought.”

No one understood that better than him. He wasn’t sure exactly what had happened to her, but he was good at guessing. She hadn’t fought back and that haunted her. She wanted to be strong. He understood that, too, the need, the passion driving her to make sure she was strong no matter what. So he tightened his arms on her and pressed her up against the cabinet.

She stomped on his foot, plowed her elbow into his belly, and when he bent with an “oomph,” she whirled, a pen in her hand, ready to poke him in the eye.

Which, thankfully, she didn’t. She dropped it to the floor and stopped short, breathing hard. “Oh God.”

“Nice,” Adam said, nodding. “Follow up?”

“A knee to the family jewels.” She swiped her forehead with her arm. “Drop him like a stone.”

“Sounds good,” his brother said. “I wouldn’t have minded seeing that.”

Dell slid his brother a long look and received a rare but genuine laugh. Adam humor.

“I could use a pizza now,” Jade said.

Still smiling, Adam raised his hand. “My treat,” he said. “Promise to do that again tomorrow and I’ll spring for the beer, too.”