“Aw,” she murmured, hugging him close with her free hand, feeling her throat tighten when he licked her chin. “What did you guys forget, huh?” she murmured, cupping his face. “What are you doing here?”
“Lilah.”
Her heart dropped to her toes. Keeping her back to him, she concentrated on hosing out the kennels as if it was brain surgery.
“Can I come in?” he asked very quietly, pausing at the opened gate.
He’d never asked before. He bulldozed, quietly demanded, or just did whatever the hell he wanted.
But now he was asking…
Oh God. She couldn’t do this. She’d gotten used to the fact that he was going, and now he was standing here being sweet and gentle.
Okay, she hadn’t gotten used to the fact that he was going, and him being sweet and gentle was killing her.
“Can I come in,” he repeated.
She shrugged. “The gate’s open.”
“I don’t mean into the yard, Lilah.”
No, she really couldn’t do this. She was miserable and she’d lost sight of any positive reasons for him to go. If she had to say good-bye again, she was going to throw herself at him and cling. She nodded, swiping her eyes with her sleeve, probably smearing the last of her mascara while she was at it.
A big hand pried the hose from her fingers. The water shut off, and then that hand was back, turning her to face him.
Fingers slid along her jaw and forced her head up. He looked… wary. Not something she expected. He was dressed for the job, or so she assumed, in his usual cargoes, boots, and a nondescript button-down with the usual myriad pockets. He was carrying something, but she couldn’t pay attention to that at the moment.
And if he was trying to intimidate with the solemn expression, the sunglasses were a nice touch.
Reaching up, she took them off of him.
He stood still and let her look her fill, his mouth unsmiling. He had a network of fine lines around his eyes, more from the sun than age. His eyes were stark and clear.
And utterly implacable.
He reached for her sunglasses, but she needed the barrier, the wall to hide behind, so she took a step back.
“Lilah.”
She closed her eyes behind the lenses. Which, oh good, were still crooked on her nose. And here she’d thought she might feel stupid.
“Look at me.”
She opened her eyes and saw what he had cradled between his free hand and his chest.
A box of goodies from 7-Eleven. Be still her heart. “Breakfast?” she asked, and look at that, her voice was perfectly clear. No way to tell that she was broken.
“I was thinking more along the lines of a bribe,” he said.
“For what?”
Ignoring her question, his gaze searched her face with that quiet intensity of his, the one that made her heart roll over and expose its tender underbelly. “Are you crying?” he asked.
“No. I just cut up an onion. Yes, I’m crying, you big, unfeeling, insensitive… ”
“Chickenshit bastard?”
“I was going to say ass, but okay.”
He nodded and set down the box of food on a fence post, lifting a hand to sweep his thumb beneath one of her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean the ass part.”
Though his eyes remained very, very serious, his mouth twitched. “Just the unfeeling, insensitive part?”
Again she lifted a shoulder. “If the shoe fits.”
With an exhale of air, he took her hand. “I’m in.”
Confused, she lifted her face, forgetting for a moment that she was a complete disgusting wreck. “What?”
His eyes were dark and still very solemn. “I’m in this,” he said.
She stared at him. “Define ‘this,’” she said very carefully. “Because if you mean you’re here, in the kennels, I’m going to hurt you. Badly.”
“Let’s start with where you are,” he said. “You’re here.” Taking her hand, he pressed it to his chest above his heart.
Beneath her palm she could feel the reassuring heat and strength of him.
And his heart, beating steady and sure.
“I haven’t had enough caffeine for this,” she whispered. “And I’m easily confused. I’m going to need more words here.”
“I love you, Lilah.”
Her heart stopped dead in her chest. “Okay,” she said shakily. “Those are some damn fine words.” She swallowed. “You came back to tell me you loved me?”
He nodded.
“And… that’s supposed to make it easier to let you go again?”
“That, and the fact that I intend to come back. Every single time. If you’ll have me. And plus,” he said, suddenly sounding uncharacteristically unsure of himself, “I brought junk food.”
“True,” she managed, nodding, throat so tight she struggled to speak. “And not that the junk food isn’t perfect, but the other thing. I need you to explain the other thing to me, Brady.”
“I thought the I-love-you was self-explanatory.”
“Oh my God. The coming-back thing! The every-single-time thing!”
Some of the wariness drained and he tugged her close, hauling her up against him, making her gasp. “Oh, don’t! I’m wet and very possibly wearing doggie puke-”
Ignoring that, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. He was taking comfort in her, she realized with a shock, something he’d never done before, and it touched her deep to her core. “Oh, Brady.” Unable to hold back, she hugged him as tight as she could. “I love you so much.”
He kissed her. It was a really great kiss, too, deep and soul searching, and by the time he lifted his head, he wasn’t breathing any more steady than she. Dropping his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes. “For as long as I can remember,” he told her, “from the time I was just a stupid little kid, to being in the military, to working as a pilot for hire, I’ve lived my life as purposely uncomplicated as possible. You changed that.”
She winced. “Because I’m… complicated?”
“Yeah.” He smiled, and it spread to a grin when she frowned. “Turns out, I like complicated,” he assured her. “But I’ve always thought of myself as a wanderer, a guy with no roots, no home base.”
Maybe even a guy who couldn’t be saved.
He didn’t say those words but she felt them from him, and it broke her heart.
“It changed,” he said before she could speak. “It changed because Adam and Dell nag like a couple of old women. It changed because of one silly dog. It changed because of a woman with a fierce, loyal, warm heart, a woman who refuses to back down for anything.”
She melted against him. “I back down for donuts. I’m a’ho for donuts.”
A smile crossed his face. “I know, I count on that.”
She smacked him and he smiled and took her hand. “What’s it going to be, Lilah?”
It wouldn’t be easy. Despite how much she loved him, he came with flaws. He was impatient, gruff, demanding… but she kind of liked the demanding part.
Besides, she was no picnic herself. She was flawed, too, as flawed as they came. He was waiting for her answer, his eyes holding more emotion than she’d ever seen from him. She rested her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt. “You were never lost,” she whispered.
“I know that, too. Now. Thanks to you.” He drew a long breath. “My home base is here, Lilah.”
“In Sunshine.”
“No. With you. It’s you, you’re my home base, wherever you are. In the damn magical lake, cleaning shit out of the stalls, playing Uno. It’s all you. You’re it for me.”
