“Caring sucks,” she whispered through her fingers.
He pulled them from her face. “Not always.”
She just stared at him.
“Not always,” he repeated softly. “What I feel for you doesn’t suck. And what I’m hoping you feel for me doesn’t suck.”
“Damn it.” She closed her eyes. “It doesn’t. It only scares the living hell out of me. You should brace yourself now.” She opened her eyes. “Because I’m maybe falling in love, too. And it’s all your fault.”
Dustin looked staggered as he drew a shaky breath.
“Don’t you have anything to say?”
“Thank you?”
She stared at him, then with a shocked laugh at having her own words tossed back at her, she lunged up and hugged him tight.
Desperate to take her mind off Blake, Brooke tried to be happy for her partner. Putting himself out there had paid off for Dustin, in a big way. It was right then that she realized she hadn’t put herself out there for Zach at all. Instead, she’d done the opposite, hiding behind her six-week time limit. She’d even said goodbye already.
“You okay?”
She opened her eyes to Aidan. Was she okay? She was leaving a job she loved in less than a week. Her grandmother’s house was all but sold in spite of the fact that beneath all the clutter, she’d discovered a gorgeous, well-tended home that seemed to say Don’t sell me every time she walked in the door.
The truth was, this decision to move yet again wasn’t being dictated by family or school or anything but her own fear.
Funny, really.
And damned ironic.
All her life she’d been racing from one spot to another, and now she was free to do as she chose, go anywhere she wanted, and…and all she wanted was to stay.
With Zach.
“Brooke?”
She looked at Aidan. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“Even if that was true, if you’re fine, how’s Zach?”
“When I left there, he was in a little pain but-”
“Not what I meant.”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “He was…good.”
“He’s the master at good. Look, I love the guy, but-”
“I’m sure you two will be very happy together.”
“You’re funny.” He shook his head. “Look, neither Zach nor I have ever really needed a woman in our life.”
“I know. I get it.”
“No, see that’s the thing. Zach looks at you differently. He has from the beginning. If you leave, it’ll be like losing his parents all over again. Or his brother.”
“He lost his brother?”
“Caleb moved to L.A. the day Zach turned eighteen, pretty much deserting him. Can’t blame the guy. He hadn’t signed on to be a parent, but still, it was rough on Zach. He’s not good with opening up. He’s afraid.”
She tried to picture the big, laid-back, easygoing Zach Thomas afraid of anything. After all, the man faced danger every single day on the job without so much as a flinch.
But that wasn’t the same.
In a way, work was much easier because it was pure testosterone and adrenaline. Putting himself on the line probably made Zach feel better about his losses, almost as if he were offering himself up to fate, as well. And as a bonus, he never had to open up emotionally, except with these guys, the brothers of his heart.
She got that; she’d done the same with her chosen career.
But Cristina and Dustin had managed to find something real, and Brooke wanted that. It was time, past time, to get it for herself, because if she’d learned anything today, it was that life was too damn short not to go for it. She stood up.
“What are you going to do?”
“It’s…complicated.”
“The best things are.” Aidan hugged her. “I hope it’s good complicated.”
“I hope so, too.”
“I tried calling you, Zachie.”
Zach sat at the side of Phyllis’s hospital bed. “I’m sorry. I can’t find my cell phone. I think I lost it in the warehouse fire.”
“Don’t worry.” Her voice sounded shaky. “You asked me not to demolish the house if someone asks, and I won’t. I was just telling Blake the same thing.”
“Blake came here to see you?”
“Yes. He wanted to talk about my house fire.”
“Why?”
Phyllis had a razor-sharp memory, but she’d been too doped up on meds for anyone to take advantage of that. Until now, apparently. “Because he was there. Yes,” she said at his surprise. “It finally came to me. It was Blake I saw standing on the perimeter of my property, holding a blowtorch.”
The air deflated from Zach’s lungs. Blake at the scene just before the fire, with an ignition device…“Phyllis, are you sure?”
“Well, when I brought it up, he said no, my memory was all twisted from the trauma, but…” She shook her head. “But I don’t believe it. I remember.”
Blake was the missing link? Blake connected all the fires?
Blake was the arsonist? It made no sense, and yet…and yet in a crazy way it made perfect sense-Blake’s ongoing obsession with fire, any fire, and his need to be near it, even the bonfire from the chief’s birthday party. “Phyllis, listen to me. I need you to trust me, okay? I have to go but I’ll be back.”
“Will you bring Cecile?”
“I’ll bring you more pictures of her, I promise.”
When he got to the parking lot and into his truck, he remembered-no cell phone. Running back inside the hospital, he went straight to a pay phone and called Tommy.
Tommy listened to every word and then said, “Go home. You hear me? Get home and keep your ass right there or I’ll get it fired.”
“You can’t do that.”
“Trust me, I’ll find a way.”
Frustration beat at Zach as he drove home, feeling useless and helpless-two emotions he couldn’t resent more. God, Blake…Could it be true?
And yet the evidence was there, at least circumstantially. The blowtorch at Phyllis’s was huge. And he’d been quiet and withdrawn and secretive for months, pushing all of them from his life.
Zach had to go see him, had to look into Blake’s eyes and judge for himself.
But Blake wasn’t home, so Zach went back to his place and paced a groove into his living room floor, which did nothing for his adrenaline level.
At the knock on his door, he opened it to the one person he’d have given everything to see.
Brooke, still wearing her uniform, eyes shadowed, mouth grim, looking like the best thing he’d seen all damn day.
“Damn, are you a sight for sore eyes,” he said.
“I’m not supposed to be here,” she said. “I forgot to clock out at work.”
“Good. Because I’m not here, either. I’m on my way to find Blake’s ass and probably get mine fired.”
“You know where he is?”
