The panic that had been sitting in her chest since Dickhead's office rose up and grabbed her by the throat. 'We are friends.'
'How can we be, when you've never trusted me?'
'This isn't about trust.'
'Bullshit.'
She stood there staring at him, thinking it'd been a hell of a day. She'd lost her identity, she'd lost her sense of self, and now she was going to lose him. 'I've given you all I have to give. It has to be enough.' Please, God, let it be enough.
He looked at her for another long moment. Then slowly shook his head.
'I'm sorry,' she whispered.
'Me, too.' Again he walked off.
And this time she let him go.
Kevin took his bike over the canyons and hills of LA for several hours, but neither the cool breeze nor the scenery helped the hole in his chest. He had a feeling nothing would. When he got home, Mike was waiting for him. They hadn't spoken much since the arrest.
What's up? Kevin signed.
Mike shook his head. Just waiting for you.
Well there's a change.
Mike winced and Kevin felt like a jerk. Look, 1 just broke if off with Mia and I'm not fit for company, all right?
Mike looked stricken. What happened?
We don't agree on what a relationship should be. Story of my life.
I'm sorry. I know that's inadequate, but I am. Mike got in Kevin's way when he tried to move up the stairs. Maybe we could hang out or something.
I don't have any cash.
Mike's eyes reflected regret. 7 don't want money. We could stay home.
Kevin shrugged and turned away. Nah.
Mike shouldered his way in front of Kevin. I know you don't believe me, but I just want to be here for you.
I thought you were mad at me.
I got over it.
Kevin rolled his eyes.
I mean it. Come on, name a problem, let me try to fix it.
Kevin laughed. You're going to fix my problems? You hate problems.
Try me.
All right. Kevin crossed his arms and leaned back against the banister. The teen center. I need a down payment to buy the building.
How much?
About a hundred times what you've got.
I could accept Linda's marriage proposal.
Linda?
Remember that voice-over actress I dated last month? She's a daddy's little rich kid, and she wanted to marry me.
Kevin looked at him. You'd actually get hitched? For me?
Mike lifted a shoulder.
Kevin laughed. You're allergic to commitment, much less marriage.
I wouldn't be with Tess. Even Mike looked shocked at that. He staggered backward and sat down. I can't believe that came out of my mouth.
Kevin stared back. You do know the definition of marriage, right? Till death do you part?
Mike rubbed his heart, still looking staggered. Shut up a minute. He looked up at Kevin. I'm having a moment. I just realized I'm in love with her.
Ah, hell. Kevin sat heavily next to him and looked into Mike's stricken face. She'd be crazy to have you. But damn lucky.
That won't get you the teen center.
Yeah, but it'd make you happy. Happy would be good.
Mike nodded. But I want you to be happy, too. You can fix this somehow, I know it.
Kevin shook his head. No more fixing. It's either right, or it's not.
And at the moment, nothing seemed right, nothing at all.
*** 
