Her Sexiest Mistake

'What do you care about?'

'My aunt Mia. Kevin, and Tess, and Mike. I care about school. About…'

'Yeah?'

'You,' she whispered, holding on to his swing when he would have backed up. 'Cole, I mean it.'

He looked like he desperately wanted to believe her but didn't.

'Adam was stupid,' she said. 'Being with him was me being stupid. I'm done with that. And I'm done with trying to hurt people to get attention. I just want to be.' She leaned in close, her heart in her throat. 'And I just want to be… with you.'

He just stared at her as if she was speaking a foreign language, and it gave her the courage to admit the rest. 'Cole, I've never…' With a grimace, she looked down at her toes. 'I've never really felt… excited by a guy. I mean, I pretended to, but it's always pretty much been an act.' Never having made the first move before, she wasn't sure how to make it count, but she lifted her head and stared into his eyes, then shifted even closer, their mouths a breath apart. 'But when I'm with you, it feels different.'

He stared at her, not moving a muscle. 'Different like I'm-going-to-puke different, or different good?'

'The truth?' She shook her head and stared at his mouth. 'I'm not sure yet. I want to find out, though. I have to find out. But you also need to know… I have to go back to Tennessee.'

'When?'

'Soon, probably.'

He paused. 'That's going to suck.'

'Yeah. Big-time.' Her heart was going to barrel right out of her ribs, but she had to do this, wanted to do this. 'Cole.'

He was still as stone, not even breathing, as far as she could tell, his fingers white-knuckled on the steel line. Then his Adam's apple bounced once, hard.

For some reason, that little motion of vulnerability boosted the fledgling courage she felt inside and she touched his mouth with hers.

He groaned, a sound that did things to her belly and made her legs feel rubbery, all good stuff, so she kept her mouth on his.

He made the sound again, and then slid his arms around her. His nose bumped hers, hard, and she pulled back.

'Sorry,' he whispered.

She clutched at his shirt and stared at him. 'No, it was good. I don't feel like throwing up,' she said, her voice all strange and breathy. 'I feel like… wow.'

He let out a long breath. 'Yeah. Wow.'

She bit her Up and looked at his mouth again, a little surprised to find her body sort of quivery, wanting more. 'I want to say one more thing about me. And Adam.'

Some of his smile faded. 'You don't have to. It's okay.'

'I didn't-'

'None of my business-'

'-have sex. I've never-' She managed to look him in the eyes. '-had sex. I just wanted you to know.'

He looked at her. Then smiled.

'What's so funny?'

'I haven't either.'

Was it possible to actually die of happiness? Hope thought maybe it was.

***

Over the next few days, Kevin managed to teach without losing it, managed to avoid Mike's probing, thoughtful gaze whenever possible, but he hadn't managed to avoid Hope. He just couldn't do it to her, so when she came up to him at lunch and whispered, 'I know,' squeezing his hand, he could hardly speak.

But he opened his desk drawer and pulled out her car keys.

Hope stared at them. 'You mean-'

'Finished.' He'd stayed up late putting in the new alternator and water pump for something to do other than obsess. 'All yours.'

Her smile was worth every moment. 'Thank you,' she whispered.

'I don't know what your rules are, so check with Mia before you drive anywhere.'

'I will.'

'And no more driving across the country until you're thirty.'

'I won't.' She hugged the keys to her chest. 'You are the best man on the planet.'

He nodded, but he didn't feel like the best man on the planet. He felt like the emptiest man on the planet.

Basketball had always been Kevin's drug of choice, and he needed to self-medicate, bad. Luckily, after work he had a basketball game scheduled at the court near his house. He headed toward the gate with more than enough pent-up aggression, and hoped the guys he was playing this week could handle it.

They could. The other team consisted of all twenty-and thirty-year-olds, and by the time the game was over, Mike bled from his lip and one knee and Kevin thought maybe he'd cracked a rib or two. Plus, he could hardly put weight on his ankle, which he'd twisted twice in his college days and apparently reinsured today in one of his fan- fucking-tastic layups, if he said so himself.

You're getting old, Mike signed when Kevin winced as they walked/limped/ whimpered off the court.

Kevin straightened and ignored the screaming in his ribs. Speak for yourself

I might be bleeding, and possibly getting old, but at least I'm heading for a woman who's going to feed me and then tuck me into bed, clucking over my injuries, kissing me alllllll better. He waggled his eyebrows as he backed from Kevin, jingling his keys.

Who?

Tess.

I thought she dumped you.

Mike's smile faded. She did. I'm slowly working my way back into favor.

And he would, too. Mike was the most charming, funny, easy-to-love guy he'd ever met. Let her go, Kevin signed. Pick someone else.

Mike shook his head. There's not going to be anyone else. Ever. And I know that's a helluva long time, but that's how I feel. Mike looked down at his battered athletic shoes, then back up. I'm going to prove myself to her. And you. I realize it might take a while, but I'm okay with that.

You have nothing to prove to me.

The hell I don't. You've been saving my sorry ass for too long, and I've let you because, well, I guess I liked you feeling guilty. But I can't get my own life together if you're the one running it, and I want my life together.