Hiding Out At The Circle C

Again.'

She did, her eyes locked on his as if he were her lifeline. Her hands gripped his on her face as she struggled. Then the strangest thing happened. Once she started breathing, she began to hyperventilate.

Her panic tripled now, every breath coming quicker and quicker, harsher and harsher. Frederick. Danyella. Lloyd. Bob. Alda. All of them, gone. She couldn't control herself, it consumed her-the deep, gasping breaths. And no matter what she did, she couldn't stop. Not even when she hiccuped painfully with each intake. Not even when the tears streamed down her face. She just couldn't stop.

'Haley, Haley.' Cam held her face firmly and his eyes never left hers, as he forced her to concentrate. 'You're okay,' he said in a soothing voice. 'Just slow it down. Come on, slow… Good.' He wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. 'You're okay,' he said again and again, and when finally she felt in control, she sagged against him, exhausted.

He lifted her and took the now empty chair she'd vacated, holding her close to him on his lap. He scooped the hair off her wet face and managed to come up with a napkin for her to blow her nose. She waited, painfully aware of what a fool she'd just made of herself, yet he remained silent.

The funny thing was-here in the circle of his solid, sure arms, she'd never felt safer. 'I'm fine,' she said eventually.

'Don't.'

Cam hugged her tight and she felt his muscles tremble. 'Watching you have that panic attack took ten years off my life.' He drew a ragged breath. 'I thought I could be patient for the rest. I can't. You've got to tell me what the hell's going on.'

'I didn't commit murder.'

'You may be able to lie smoothly enough to give me the chills,' Cam said roughly, still rocking her. 'But I never thought you could kill.'

She'd caused those stress lines in his face, the tightness of his jaw. His gaze seemed weighted with worry, concern, and even fear. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and held on to him. 'I need out of here.'

* * *

Cam didn't push Haley for answers on the long drive back. He parked his truck in front of the ranch house, then turned in the seat to look at her.

'Ever been on a horse?'

That was just about the last possible thing she expected him to say. 'A horse?' She cleared her rough throat. 'A couple of times. At school once. I knew someone who took me riding. I'm not very good.'

He nodded, got out of the truck and came around for her, holding out a hand. 'You know, Haley, that's the most you've ever volunteered about yourself.' For once, his deep eyes revealed nothing. 'Let's go for a ride.'

'A ride,' she repeatedly stupidly, coming to a stand before him. The day was cool, the sunny sky streaked with light clouds. But her chill came from deep within. Did he really believe she was involved? And if he did, could she blame him? She hadn't exactly been forthcoming with information. 'I don't think so.'

'Why not?'

She let out a little laugh, then rubbed her temples. Had he forgotten? 'I'm tired, Cameron.'

'You look it.'

The words were brutal, in complete contrast to the absolute kindness of his voice. She snapped her head up to look at him and saw the burning questions and, yes, the basic affection and warmth she'd come to count on. She also saw his frustration. His pain and confusion over the lies. No, he hadn't forgotten.

'I just thought you could use a diversion.'

There were a thousand reasons not to. 'I'll slow you down.'

'I'm not in the mood to race.'

'I have-'

'Work?' he interrupted, with a small shake of his head. 'Heaven forbid you forget that for even a few minutes.' He gave her a ghost of a smile. 'You can give up that pretense for now, don't you think?'

The sad thing was, she didn't want to. What she wanted most was to dive into the kitchen and work. 'I don't want to.'

He just looked at her.

'I want to work.' She could panic over this, she realized. What if he wanted her to go, when what she wanted most in the world was to stay?

'We need to talk, Haley.'

She studied her shoes. She smelled the aspens. She listened to the grass grow.

'Hel-l-o-o-o.'

'I know. It's just that I was kinda hoping to…'

'Put it off?' He shook his head. 'You're going to make me mad, Haley.'

She rubbed her aching temples.

'Come on. Just a ride. Just you and me and the mountains.'

He had her wait while he saddled up the horses. The ranch house sat at the base of a series of rolling hills that in spots still held their lush summer green even though winter was nearly upon them. But most of the tall grass had turned to a dull canvas brown. Soon, snow would fall, but for now, the last of the warm autumn days held. Beyond those hills were the high ridges of the Rockies, pasted against a mottled gray sky.

A perfect day for a ride.

* * *

When he led out the horses, Cam saw that Haley still sat on a large rock by the barn, just where he'd left her. The haunted look hadn't faded from her face.

'Just us,' he said easily to her, forcing a calm he didn't feel. If he wasn't calm, there was no way he could get her that way. And that was exactly how he wanted her-relaxed and compliant. She wouldn't talk otherwise.

She stood and ran her hands down the thighs of her jeans. Her eyes had gone wide at seeing the horses. 'They're… big.'

'Yeah,' he said, laughing a little. 'Which is why they carry us, not the other way around.' He reached for one of her busy, nervous hands. 'This big guy here, he's mine. His name is Sal. The lady is Mrs. Twisted. She's Nellie's, which explains the name.' He placed her hand on the horse's neck, holding it when she would have flinched away. 'She's the sweetest, tamest horse we have, unless Jason's around.'

'She doesn't like him?'

He could tell she didn't want to get on any horse, much less a temperamental one. 'She's just jealous. You've seen Jason and Nellie.'

'Yeah.'

He wondered at the flash of emotion he saw. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn it was envy. Did she, like him, both admire and wish for what Nellie and Jason had?

'So I just hop on?' she asked.

'Need a hand?' He imagined touching her, helping her up. His hands would brush over her hips, her thighs…

'I can do it,' she said quickly, moving past him.

He watched as she pulled herself up with an ease that spoke more of her physical strength than experience. He'd noticed that for a tiny thing, she was tough as nails. And had a tight little body to go with that toughness-one that happened to drive him crazy every time he looked at it.

He got on Sal and they started for the hills. Haley sat naturally in the saddle, which didn't surprise him. She wouldn't like to be less than good at anything. She didn't smile, or even look at him, but then, he hadn't expected her to. Nervousness vibrated from her, and he knew she was thoroughly braced for his barrage of questions.

She'd have to wait.