Hiding Out At The Circle C

He stopped. 'A complete mystery,' he repeated slowly, looking shell-shocked. 'You mean you've never-'

'No,' she said shakily, pulling away. She needed distance for this-lots of it. 'I've never been with a man before. Pretty pathetic, huh?'

Those amazing dark eyes caressed her. 'No. It will mean all the more for you this way. And me.'

'You don't understand,' she said, flustered by the way he was looking at her. 'I think I'm what they call… 'repressed.' You know, 'frigid.''

A laugh escaped him, but it died quickly enough when she didn't crack a smile. Cupping her shoulders, he turned her toward him. 'The woman who can kiss me senseless-the same woman who wrote about wanting to seduce me so that I couldn't even remember where I was… that's the woman you think is repressed? Frigid?' He started to smile again, then read the truth that must have been in her eyes, and straightened. 'My God, you're serious. Haley, darlin', you're one of the most sensual women I've ever met. I mean it,' he insisted when she scoffed. 'I watch you cleaning the house in Nellie's clothes, wearing that clingy thing under your pale blouse. Drives me crazy.'

'The camisole?' she asked in surprise. It was plain white and very comfortable. It was also all she had. But just when had he been trying to see beneath her clothes?

'Yeah.' His voice was soft and unbearably husky. 'The camisole. When you stand in the living room dusting, the sun shines in from the picture window and the blouse turns sheer. It's heaven.'

Her lips curved, even as embarrassment dictated some sort of indignation should be shown. 'Ever thought about looking away?'

'No.' He grinned and flicked a finger lightly over her heated cheeks. 'Then I see you hugging my jacket close against you and I imagine it's me keeping you warm instead. I have to admit, I've never been envious of an item of clothing before.'

She just stared at him. 'You're making this up.'

His hand ran down her side, squeezed her waist. His hungry gaze followed the movement. 'You may try to hide it, but you have a hot little body I can't seem to get out of my head.'

Thinking was difficult whenever he looked at her like that, with passion and promise, but she had to try to get back on track. 'My life has been tied up in my studies. I've never taken the time for anything else.'

'Because it was easier not to.'

'Maybe.' She shrugged, and his other hand shifted to her waist, as well. 'Things changed when I went to work.'

'Changed how?'

She took a deep breath. 'Well, work was good. Great, actually. Fulfilling and all that. But the pressure was rugged, the work very intense and the schedule always grueling. My health… suffered. I-'

'Wait.' He frowned. 'What do you mean, 'suffered'?'

It still hurt, still embarrassed her, to admit this last weakness. 'We were under a lot of pressure, there were so many secrets, which are just starting to make sense, but then all I knew was that I had to work. Insanely, around the clock. I lost a little weight, was feeling tired all the time.' She shrugged again and backed from his touch. 'Then we made that discovery, one that would have revolutionized the way we handle earthquakes.' Unable to sit, she bounced up and paced the room while he watched with serious eyes. She stopped before the small dresser with the round mirror above it. Her face, wan and wretched, stared back at her. Visions of the lives her undersea system had destroyed wavered in front of her. Her fault? No. She knew that now, accepted it. But it had been her creation that had started it. 'People died, Cam. I blamed myself for those deaths.'

'No. Darlin'-'

'Wait. Let me finish, or I'll never be able to get it out. In South America, after I found out, everything suddenly felt like such an effort.'

Tension filled the air, thickened it.

'What do you mean, Haley, by everything?' His voice seemed muted, strangled.

'You know, life in general.' She shrugged, pretending a lightness she didn't feel. 'It was too difficult, it seemed, to go on. I didn't want to.' She looked at her hands and whispered, 'On the plane here, I thought about dying. How easy it would be. How maybe I deserved it.'

He lurched to his feet, pale and stricken. 'Haley.'

She smiled a little, but still couldn't meet his eyes. 'I got over it, Cam. I came here. And within a day, things had changed. I wanted to live. Quite desperately.' Now she did turn to face him, and found him standing right before her, looking ready to do battle. For her, she realized with a sweet pang. 'You did that for me,' she said softly, touching his face. 'You and the others.'

'Well, thank God for that.' He hugged her fiercely. Then he cupped her face, his eyes searching and intense. 'Promise me you got over those other feelings-the ones that made you feel you couldn't go on.'

'I promise.'

Relief came into his expression. But the worry remained. 'Haley, I'm not used to keeping my feelings inside, like you. I just can't do it. You're going to have to hear them.'

She tried to duck her head, not wanting to see his pity and disgust, but he made her look at him. Surprisingly she saw neither, just compassion, understanding, and far more emotion than she was equipped to handle.

'I hate what you went through,' he said gently. 'I know there's a lot you've left out, but you'll tell me the rest.'

'Yes.'

'I hate thinking about you sick, afraid, alone. Feeling worthless.' His eyes turned grim. 'Wanting to end it all.' He kissed her very tenderly. 'I'm just so thankful that you made it here. I can't regret that.'

He had a way of putting things, she thought, as she felt herself being enclosed in his warm, reassuring embrace. 'I'm not sick now,' she said, a little amazed by it. She hugged him close, buried her face in the crook of his neck, where he smelled so good. 'It's funny, but since I've been here, my stomach has gotten better and I hardly ever get a headache.'

'Good. We'll get through this,' he said with quiet strength.

How she wanted to believe that. She closed her eyes, listening to the rain pummel at the earth outside.

'Together,' he whispered. 'We'll do it together. And then, we'll go from there.'

Together. The word implied so much. She dug her fingers into his waist, knowing she must look half-wild as she lifted her head. 'I've been so afraid for you and the others.'

He let out a wordless sound of amazement, of remorse, and pulled her closer. 'Darlin', I can protect myself and the others.'

'I… care about you.'

His eyes went opaque. 'Say that again.'

'Cam.' She let out a little laugh. 'You know I do.'

'You don't know how it makes me feel to hear it. Say it again,' he demanded.

Still uncomfortable with the words, she rolled her eyes and said obediently, 'I care for you more than I've ever cared for anyone, but-'

'No,' he said gently. 'No buts.' He kissed her, pouring everything he felt into that one sweet connection. 'No more secrets,' he declared when the breathless kiss had ended.

'No more,' she repeated softly. Then she stole his heart when she pulled his head back to hers.

* * *

From half a world away, the shadowy figure finally got another lead.

It had been badly needed, since the last one had petered out when the call from Haley had been untraceable.

But now there had been several phone calls to the USGS-anonymous, of course. Someone was trying to get information on EVS-specifically on the deaths from the bombing-and that someone was just outside Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Dr. Haley Whitfield? There was no one else left.

Triumph surged. It was just a matter of time now.