She wasn’t watching where they were going, but his face. His mouth. It was a really great mouth. Wide and firm but not too much so. She bet it’d be heaven on hers-
“Don’t,” he murmured.
Her gaze flew to his.
“Don’t go there unless you mean it, Goldilocks.”
“How do you know I don’t?”
He shook his head. “It’s a bad idea. We’re a bad idea.”
“Why?”
“I have this thing. This no regrets thing. And while I wouldn’t regret a night with you, I’m not sure you’d be able to say the same.”
Would she regret a night with him? Hell no. But would she regret having to walk away in a few weeks once the job was done and her heart had engaged? Because her heart
At her silence, his mouth quirked and he set his chin on her head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Chapter 6
Dawn hadn’t quite broken when Cam and Stone pulled out their climbing gear and cataloged everything they’d need for a group trip later that day.
“Katie said that they added two to the group.” Stone was crouched by the ropes, going through them. “So there’ll be seven. Eight, if we bring her with us.”
Cam stopped separating belaying equipment. “We? And why would you bring her?”
“We, because stupid me, I assumed that when I told you I need help guiding, it meant that you would actually help. And we’d bring her because she wants to learn.”
“I never promised to do this.”
“No, you didn’t.” Sounding disgusted, Stone stood up. “Look, you know where the door is. Don’t let it hit you in the ass if that’s what you want.”
“Jesus, you’re touchy. I didn’t say I was leaving right now.”
“No, because you don’t say anything. You just leave us hanging.”
Cam stood up, too, brushing off his hands. “Why don’t you tell me what you want me to say. Let’s start with that, Stone.”
“Okay.” Stone tossed down the gear in his hands. “I want you to say that you’re not as stupid as you look, that it’s been a fucking year and you’re getting the fuck over yourself.”
Cam felt his gut clench and he took a step back rather than what he’d like to do, which was wrap his fingers around Stone’s neck. “And how am I supposed to get over the fact that it’s gone?”
“Snowboarding?”
“My life.”
Stone let go of a heavy breath and what appeared to be his temper as well. “Jesus, Cam. It’s not gone. Your life is still good. You just have to find something else to do with it.”
“I have nothing else.”
“Then you are as stupid as you look.”
Cam let out a mirthless laugh. “Well, hell, just tell me how you really feel.” He kicked at the gear at his feet. “Fine. I’m stupid. This is stupid. It’s stupid to be here.”
“So you’re quitting. Everything. You’re just walking away. Well, what’s new.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You always walk. You can’t board for gold, so you walk. Your relationship hits a lull and you walk there too. Mentally. Physically. Whatever.”
“I never walked from you guys.”
When Stone just looked at him, Cam closed his eyes. “Not for long anyway.” He opened his eyes, meeting Stone’s steady gaze. “I tried, but I couldn’t. Look, I know you think I came back because I was bored, or done walking the planet, but that’s not it.” He gave Stone a shove. “I’m here because I missed your ugly mug.”
“Well, it is so much prettier than yours.” Stone sighed. “We good now?”
“Good enough.”
“Good enough.” Stone gave him a little shove back and then hunkered down to continue separating the gear again. “So since when do you have a problem with a pretty girl wanting to go climbing?”
“She’s a temp.”
“And you live your life like a temp. I repeat, what’s the problem?”
“Nothing.”
Stone took his gaze off the gear and eyed Cam. “Nothing has you two sniffing at each other like a pair of horn- dog teenagers?”
“Hey.” Cam paused. “Maybe it’s true, but hey.”
“You two have a certain chemistry going on.”
“It’s called irritation. We irritate each other.”
“Well, if that’s what you kids are calling it these days.”
“Fine. She doesn’t irritate me. I don’t know what she does exactly, though it feels something close to bashing my head against the wall repeatedly.”
“And you’re going to ignore that, too, like everything else?”
Cam shrugged. “That’s the plan.”
“That’s a really dumb plan, Cam.”
“No regrets.” It didn’t escape him that both he and Katie had been through hell, though they’d appeared to come out with opposing mottos. His was better. Easier.
Safer.
Over the next week, Katie did her best to buy into Cam’s whole no regrets thing, but the problem was this: She
Not that it mattered. He was gone a lot, during which time she learned a whole new meaning for the word
She still had the nightmares, but they came more sporadically. Every other night instead of every single one.
She could get used to that.
The mornings were different from Los Angeles, too, in that the temperatures hovered right at zero, boggling her mind. Temps in the mid-70s seemed a far distant thing of her past. Nick showed her the trick of tucking her pants into her socks before walking from her cabin to the lodge, which while not at all fashionable, at least kept her feet from getting packed with snow on the walk. She’d asked him what other tricks there were to surviving the wild Sierras, and he’d told her it was a lot like the TV show
She didn’t mind that.
But Mother Nature could be finicky. There was no predicting the weather accurately, or making definite plans. So when a storm came and dumped four feet overnight-four feet!-she was the only one surprised.
Sitting at her desk, she looked out the window at the endless conifers and pines, the valley lows, the mountain peaks,
Cam was out there clearing the front path. He wore snow gear that fit his long, lean frame, and he worked endlessly, with the wild mountains behind him and the snow all around him.
He belonged.
A nameless yearning built up within her, for that same sense of belonging.
He stopped working to pull off his cap and unzip his jacket, limping to the porch for his bottle of water, and she pressed her nose to the window for a better look, telling herself she was only worried about his leg, that it had