Shadow Hawk

him.

She had one hand on his chest, palm open, as if she might have originally planned on holding him off but had lost her train of thought.

Or changed her mind.

He hoped for that second option. She was battling her demons, and Hawk could appreciate that because he had his own. All his life, his job had always taken priority, over family, over friends, over everything. While in Special Forces, he’d lost most of those close to him because it was hard to maintain relationships with what he did for a living.

He’d felt a little regret-but there’d always been that elusive future when he’d stop working, settle down and get serious about letting someone in his life. For now, he was still driven to ferret out bad guys. Hell, he didn’t even know how to do anything else, be anyone else. Women as a whole didn’t seem to like that, and as a result, they’d come and gone, mostly gone.

But when Abby looked at him, he didn’t have to try to downplay his life, or hide how crazy his job was. She knew, because she lived it, too.

So freeing. Slipping his fingers into her hair, Hawk kissed her again, deeper now, trying to let her know it was okay to delve as long and hot and wet as she wanted. With a sexy-as-hell little murmur, she lifted one of her hands.

Oh, yeah, he thought. Touch me. Do it. Even the thought made him hard. Or harder, because he’d been hard, painfully so, since he’d pulled her onto the bed with him.

Her hand hovered in the air, then headed toward his shoulder, touched down, jerked back, then touched down again.

At the connection, he groaned and she jerked both hands off him and pulled her mouth free, lips wet, breathing ragged, body trembling. “I’m sorry,” she gasped.

Sorry? Was she kidding? “No, I want you to-” Wanted so much he was afraid to even finish the thought. But she’d kissed him like he was better than air, like he was her lifeline, her only hope, like maybe that one kiss wasn’t going to be enough, could never be enough.

Yeah, he could live off that fantasy alone. When he’d rolled around with her on that hard ground at the ranch, her body had moved against his, all curves and softness, and he’d sent up a desperate wish that someday they’d be rolling around and not fighting for their lives.

The need had surprised him then, but it didn’t now. This thing between them had been building up for six months, six months during which he’d been frustrated and hot and bothered, and he hoped she’d been the same. Now there was nothing to hold them back.

Still staring at him with those wide eyes, Abby lifted her fingers to her mouth and slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m not ready-”

“Okay,” he managed. He even smiled, though truthfully, he wanted to cry. “It’s okay.”

“It’s just that you’re so strong,” she said very softly, staring at the width of his shoulders. His chest. The tattoo on his bicep. His belly…the tented towel. “Very strong.”

That clearly was not a compliment. “Would it help to know that when you look at me, I feel like a two-pound weakling?”

She smiled, but shook her head. Hawk sighed. He was strong. Hell, he’d spent years toning and strengthening his body for his job, they both knew that. It’d been a matter of survival after all. “I’d never use my strength against you, Abby.”

“Except, of course, if I was going to turn you in.”

At the reminder of how he’d tumbled her around in the woods, he winced. “I tried really hard not to-”

“I know. And you weren’t naked then, and I couldn’t really see…but now…” She lifted a shoulder. “I guess I’m just wishing that you were very skinny, or maybe even fat. Yeah, fat would do.”

He blinked. “You’d rather I was fat?”

“And weak. Instead of…” She eyeballed him again. “You know.”

“Wow. Okay…”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, wait. I can fix this.” Grabbing the handcuffs on the nightstand, he snapped one on his wrist, the other to the headboard.

Abby stared at him in shock. “What are you doing?”

Arm stretched above his head now, he leaned back. “Just sitting here. Not fat, sorry, but weakened. One hand only, see?” Hawk wriggled his fingers. “You can take me one-handed, and we both know it. I’m at your mercy, Ab.” He looked into her eyes. “You’re in total control.”

Something leaped into her gaze at that, gratitude, relief, and oh, baby, a whole bunch of heat that had his own blood boiling again. His fingers itched to move, to touch her, but he remained still as stone.

Well, except for the part of him that he couldn’t make go still. Beneath the towel it gave a hopeful surge.

Her gaze dropped to it.

“Okay, well that part of me has a mind of its own. But the rest of me? Just sitting here. Restrained. So do as you will, Abby. Look, touch…” Taste. “Whatever you want, I’m yours.”

Totally.

Completely.

Yours.

Obviously intrigued, she reached out to touch his chest, then pulled back. “But…?”

“But what? No buts.”

“But what happens when we’re back in the real world?”

“Now see, I sort of thought we were in the real world.”

“You know what I mean,” Abby protested. “The real world is different. We work together in the real world. We have to be professional.”

“Hey, I’m the king of professional.”

She laughed. Laughed. And it was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. Then she leaned a hand on his chest, bracing her weight completely over him as she peered into his face. “You’re going to stay just like this? Really?”

“Just like this.”

If it killed him.

Which it might.

“It’s not that I’m afraid of you…”

“I know.”

“I’m just…”

“You need the control. It’s okay, Ab. I get it.” He jangled the handcuff to remind her how much he got it. She hadn’t been sexually abused, but being stripped, helpless, had left its mark. They’d destroyed her confidence. They’d hurt her.

Now the situation was reversed.

She had a chance to be the one clothed, the one with all the power, and he was going to sit there and let her do whatever she wanted. “You’re in the driver’s seat.”

“What should I do?” she whispered.

“Whatever you want.”

“To you?”

“To me.”

She stared into his eyes, torn between wariness and excitement. Just seeing it had his body leaping.

Down boy. He offered her a smile. “Just be kind.”

“I will,” she said very seriously, as if taking care with him was of the utmost importance, and for some reason that reached out and grabbed him by the throat. In his life, he was the one who took care of others, making places safe, taking out the bad guys…

But few, if any, had ever taken care of him, or even wanted to.

There Abby sat, fully dressed, her lower lip between her teeth as she contemplated him, arm stretched above his head, handcuffed to the bed in just a towel. As he waited there, not moving, hell barely breathing, she didn’t