but I’m trying to change now.” John opened his eyes. “I’m sorry that I didn’t realize how much anger and resentment you were holding on to. But I guess I should have, since I’m holding on to stuff, too.”
“Like what? What did I ever do to you?”
“Well, you never liked me much.” John tried a smile to signal he was only kidding, clearly trying to lighten the mood, but Wade didn’t feel light. For once in his life, he couldn’t find the light and easy. Shoving his fingers into his hair to try to ease the pounding in his head, he turned in a slow circle away from his dad, coming to a dead stop at the sight of Sam standing in his opened doorway.
He’d wanted to see her. He’d wanted to kiss her, touch her… definitely lose himself in her, but she’d been standing there listening, soaking in things he hadn’t wanted anyone to hear-
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’ve got to get back, but I came to…” She lifted a bag. “Lunch from the hotel.”
“Ah, what a darlin’,” John said kindly.
“Not hungry,” Wade said.
“But you’re always hungry.” She winced, probably because she was remembering what she just heard about his childhood, about him stealing food.
“No wonder I’m not a grandfather yet,” John said, then shook his head. “You have some serious issues.”
Wade rested his head on the door. His dad was right. He did have some serious fucking issues.
“That rudeness must come from your mother’s side because I’d never have shut the door on that pretty face. Good to know I didn’t screw you up all by myself.”
Wade felt the muscles in his jaw clench, and he hauled open the front door in time to see Sam power-walking to her car. “Sam.”
She looked up, gaze shuttered as he made his way to her. He tried not to wince but her eyes narrowed in on his ribs, though she remained silent.
“Where’s Tag?” he asked.
“With his tutor. I have to get back to the hotel. I ran out on my meeting.”
Since she didn’t move, he took advantage, taking her hand so she couldn’t escape. He looked back to make sure his dad was still in the house, and then pulled Sam a little farther away, out of earshot. They stood on the edge of the grassy bluff and looked at the ocean.
“If you’re still looking for those five minutes,” she said. “I’ve decided not to share them with you.”
“Can’t blame you.” He closed his eyes and absorbed the sun, trying to find peace. It didn’t come to him like it usually did. “I’m sorry I acted like an ass,” he said quietly. “But you should know, it probably won’t be the last time. My dad brings it out in me, and I think he’s staying. He seems to believe he can’t quit drinking without me. And though I’d love to quit him, I don’t seem to be able to just walk away this time.”
“You want to believe he’s really quitting.”
He looked into her slay-me eyes. “Yeah.”
She let out a breath. “Seems neither of us can cut our dads out of our lives entirely, even though neither of them has been much of a parent.” She surprised him by taking his hand in hers. “I’d like to believe that makes us good people.”
He nodded. “I’d like to believe that, too.”
Her mouth curved slightly as she stepped close and slowly set her head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I suppose I can forgive you for being an ass.”
He let out his own sigh and wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you.”
The waves were low and mellow today, the sun the same. Looking down at Sam’s head on his chest gave him the sense of peace he’d been looking for.
“Too bad we can’t pick our families,” she said, watching the water.
“Too bad.”
She cocked her head and looked at him, really looked, as if she could see right through him. Aware that she now knew far more about his childhood than he was comfortable with, he had to resist the urge to squirm. “What?”
“I feel for the boy you were,” she murmured. “So much. But mostly I’m glad you made it, and very proud of the man you’ve become, Wade. You should be, too.”
He let out a breath and stroked a strand of hair off her face. “You have this way of getting straight to the heart of the matter, don’t you?”
“I don’t care that you have bad days. I don’t care that you have a very busy life with lots going on. I care about the fact that all I can think about is how you said you were falling for me, or how in spite of myself, I’m doing the same. I only care that suddenly I feel like I’m hanging out here all alone because you’ve changed your mind.”
He met her gaze. “I haven’t.”
“No?”
“No,” he said firmly. “It’s just that I thought we were moving along nice and slow, seeing where it takes us.”
“Such as maybe some more elevators, bathrooms, and couches.”
He let out a little smile. “Well, actually, I’m really hoping for that bed. I’m getting a little old for that back of the car shit.”
“It’s been a little crazy,” she allowed, not committing.
Which was usually his MO, the not committing. “Yeah,” he said, wondering where this was going. “Just a little crazy.”
“And not quite the easy and light and fun you expected.”
Unease settled in his gut like a lead ball. “True.”
“Problem is, you didn’t see the fatal flaw in your plan,” she said, watching him carefully. “That nothing is easy and light and fun all the time.”
“Also true,” he admitted.
“As is the fact that you’ve never tried to manage a relationship during a season, correct?”
“Not so much as a pet snake.”
“And yet here you are with a woman looking at you,” she said. “One with an impressionable kid in her care, taking a serious bite out of the light and easy. Not to mention a father who needs your attention.”
Sam turned to face him, staring deep into his eyes. “Maybe it’s a good thing you only have a week left on your sentence, and then your biggest problem is over.”
The words tugged low in his gut. “Is that what you want? For it to be over?”
“This was never about me, Wade.” She took his hand and walked with him down to the beach. They kicked off their shoes and sat on the big rocks, hidden from the rest of the world. “Since you’re unnerved and I’m not that far behind you,” she murmured, leaning back, tipping her face up to the sun, “maybe for now we should just stick with what we’re good at.”
“Which is?”
She smiled. “It’s more of a show than tell thing.”
“Yeah?” Just her sultry smile made him feel better. It made him hard, too. “Show me then.”
She shrugged out of her jacket, leaving her in just that little tank top he loved. Her breasts strained against the material, her nipples hard. “You have my full attention,” he murmured.
She very carefully peeled his T-shirt off over his head. “Good to know.”
“Even though I was a jerk?”
“The fight’s over, Wade.” Her finger ran down his chest, his abs. “Now we’re making up.” Her mouth curved warmly. “Keep up.”
She undid him. Completely undid him.
And clearly knowing it, she just smiled. “I’m quite sure this will put us back on that light and fun and easy track.”
“Tell me more about this making up.”