The Street Where She Lives

school he’d readily given away anything he had to kids less fortunate, and there hadn’t been many. He’d followed the same path in his career, using his talents to help others by bringing their plight to the masses, forcing people to see what they might have chosen not to see otherwise. He would give a perfect stranger the shirt off his back, and had.

She eyed his naked torso. Things hadn’t changed.

“I’ll pay for all her stuff.”

“It’s okay, Ben.”

Now he just looked adorably confused. “Why?”

“Why?” She nearly laughed at his expression but instead felt the absolutely inexplicable need to hug him, which would be like hugging a resting but half-starved leopard. Not exactly good for her health. “Because you made Emily happy. You made her happy in a way I can’t seem to lately.”

She ignored his surprise because that tore at her, too. Did he think she was completely heartless? Yes, of course he did. “Why were you talking to some Agent Brewer about me, Ben?”

His easy, open smile faded, and he turned away, his sleek, smooth back tense. His shoulders lifted in a shrug before he turned back to her. “He’s an FBI agent. I was worried about you.”

She wished he’d put his shirt back on. His chest, still damp, was damn distracting. “What does an FBI agent have to do with my recovery?”

“I’m talking about the hit-and-run part of your accident.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t realize the investigation had stalled until I got here. Ever since, I’ve been after the authorities to rush it, make it a priority.”

Even here, far from work, he was concerned with justice. God, to have that drive, and the ability to see it through. She admired him for that and, as she glanced at her empty easel, wished for a fraction of his courage.

Ben was looking at the flowers on a windowsill, another gift from Adam. Sweet, even-keeled, kind Adam. She could say she was extremely fond of him, that he made her smile and was easy to be with. She could say she’d been contemplating doing as she knew he wanted and taking their relationship to the next level.

Until recently. Until Ben. She wouldn’t admit this under threat of death, but from the moment she’d seen the two men standing next to each other, one so dynamic, larger than life, charismatic…the other paling a little in comparison, things had changed.

Not that she wanted Ben instead.

Okay, maybe she did, secretly, extremely secretly. She’d have to have ice in her veins not to want him. But she didn’t want to want him, which in her mind changed everything.

“It’s time to get into town for your physical therapy appointment,” he said, checking his watch.

She hadn’t yet figured out how to get out of him driving her to her physical therapy appointments. Frustrated as they both were with the circumstances, those times alone in the car with him were far too intimate for her peace of mind. “I’m ready.” Gently, she pushed the puppy out of her lap. Her legs had fallen asleep in her stagnant position, and getting up turned into an exercise in futility and frustration.

“Hey, hey,” he said, rushing over, scooping her up when she might have slipped out of the window seat. “You can’t just do that, you can’t just move that fast, you’ve got to-”

“What? Not move? Not think? Not breathe? Well, you try it and see how fast you go insane.”

“Hmm. Grumpy again.” He carried her down the hall to her bedroom, where he sat with her on her bed, his back to the headboard. One leg on the floor, one bent on the mattress, he tipped his head up and closed his eyes, as if forgetting she was sprawled in his lap.

“I thought we had to go.”

“Yeah.” But his arms just tightened on her.

The puppy had followed them and let out a happy little bark.

“You can let me go,” Rachel said. “I’m perfectly fine-”

“Rachel?”

“Yes?”

“Please shut up. Just for a moment.”

Yes, but if she shut up, then all she could do was feel, and what she’d feel was the warm, achingly familiar strength of him surrounding her. She could get used to that, very used to that.

Too bad Ben couldn’t. “Look, you only came here because Emily called you. She said I needed you. But we both know what that was about, and I don’t think we need to discuss it further.”

His eyes were still closed, his body relaxed beneath his. “You’re right about that.”

“Damn it, Ben, I know you want out. I don’t buy the promise to Emily anymore. I don’t buy any of it, so tell me the truth. You want to go.”

He was silent.

“Ben.”

“Yes,” he admitted softly. “I want to go.”

She realized her hands were fisted against the hot, hard flesh of his chest and she jerked them loose. “Then why won’t you?”

“Because I did promise. Whether you buy that or not is up to you.” His voice was low and clearly angry. She’d insulted his sense of pride and integrity. Maybe later she’d stop to feel bad about that, but right now she needed his hands off her because they were bringing her body to life in a way she couldn’t deal with.

“Bottom line,” he said. “You do need me.”

“I have other people who could help me-”

“Like Adam,” he pointed out helpfully. “I suppose he could have helped you with your sponge bath?”

That closed her mouth.

His hands slid up her body to cup her head, turning her to face him. “I’m not going anywhere, not yet.”

Not yet. The words raced like a promise, a threat, through her mind. Not yet.

But he would go.

His thumb slid over her lower lip and parts of her body leaped to life, hoping for more. But she’d already kissed him. A huge mistake, as the memories of that particular kiss, combined with the memories of what could come after those mind-blowing kisses, were already keeping her up at night.

Ben Asher had destroyed her once in this lifetime, and once had been enough.

His eyes were on hers, letting her see his thoughts, and what he was thinking made her melt even without the kisses.

“Ben,” she whispered shakily as he lowered his mouth toward hers. “Doesn’t this terrify you?”

“You mean the way time stops when you look at me? Hell, yeah, it terrifies me. But then again, everything about you does, it always has.”

Another stroke of his thumb over her mouth, and her knees trembled. “We…can’t.”

“Can’t isn’t in my vocabulary…”

“Then I can’t.”

He froze at that. “You…can’t.”

“No,” she whispered.

“Same old story,” he whispered back. “Fine. You can’t.” With that he helped her up and into the car. The ride to and from the physical therapy appointment was interminably silent…and long.

Afterward, he insisted on helping her up to her room. He’d just helped her back on her bed, had leaned over her with a look on his face that had her hormones jerking to attention, when from below, the front door slammed, making them both jump.

Emily’s voice called out hopefully. “Dad?”

With a groaning laugh, Ben scooped up the wildly wriggling puppy who’d become frantic at the sound of her beloved Emily’s voice-and set her on the bed.

“Dad?”

Rachel closed her eyes to the happiness in her daughter’s voice, the happiness that had come from Ben’s presence, but jerked them open again when she felt Ben come close again. Hand on either side of her hips, he