“And if the season’s really busy, they even fly us out. So we can get back on the jump list and be ready for another fire.”
“But not normally.”
“No, usually once the fire’s out, we pack up our gear and hike to the nearest road. We leave a couple of people behind to cold-trail the fire.” A fire could look as though it was out, but still smolder for weeks. So they had to go through on their hands and knees, digging out stumps, making sure it was out.
She wiped her forehead on her sleeve and wheezed in a breath. “I remember. You always stayed behind to do that.”
“Choice from the top, boned from the bottom.”
“Meaning?”
“That I didn’t have a choice. I had to stay. You’re not always first on the list.”
She blinked. “Oh, I thought…”
“What? That I didn’t want to come home?”
“Well, I…”
A stark stab of bitterness jolted his chest. Hell. “How could you think that?” Didn’t she know him at all?
“I’m sorry, I-” She cringed. “Oh, God. I assumed you were like my father, living for your job. I…I should have asked.”
“Yeah.”
And maybe he should have explained.
That thought caught him off guard, and he frowned. He’d figured she understood his world and what he did. But what if she really hadn’t?
He thought about what she’d said before. That they hadn’t talked much when they were married. She was right. They hadn’t explained themselves. He hadn’t thought it mattered.
But apparently, he’d been wrong. And suddenly, he needed to redeem himself, to make her understand. Even after all this time.
He stopped. Her dark eyes rose to meet his. “Look, Jordan.” He rubbed the nape of his neck. “I like my job. I always have. But just so you know, I didn’t want to leave you back then. I wasn’t trying to get away.”
“I know.” Her dark gaze softened. And suddenly, he saw the vulnerability in those beautiful eyes, the doubt.
And he felt like the worst kind of fool. She hadn’t understood. Not enough. And that explained so much. Her loneliness. The tears. The fights.
Feeling guilty, he reached out and tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. “I felt lonely, too,” he admitted, his voice gruff. “I thought about you all the time. And I always wanted to come home to you.”
“Cade, I…” Her voice trembled. Her dark eyes stayed on his. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I guess I needed to hear that.”
“Yeah.” And suddenly, deep in his gut, the tension eased. And the long years of bitterness began to unfurl.
He should have told her back then. It might have made a difference. Or maybe not. He would never know.
And it didn’t change anything now. She still didn’t want a smokejumper, and he wouldn’t give up his job. But at least they’d settled something, put some closure on the past. And maybe regained some trust.
His throat felt thick, his head dizzy. Then a whiff of smoke drifted past on the breeze and he pulled his gaze away. “We need to keep moving.”
“I know. Come on, Dusty,” she cooed to the dog, her voice lilting. Her gaze met his again as they started hiking. “I’m sorry I’m so slow. I know I’m holding you up.”
“You’re doing fine, really.”
“You’d be farther ahead without me.”
He couldn’t deny that. “I don’t mind the company, though.” In fact, there was no one he’d rather be with.
It was true, he realized with a start. He wanted to spend time with this woman. Somewhere in their hike across the mountains, he’d lost the urge to get away.
Which meant his resistance to her was crumbling.
And that put him in more danger than any fire.
Chapter 12
So he’d let himself become vulnerable to Jordan.
Cade battled through the thick mountain brush, that thought mired in his mind. Despite his defenses, she’d managed to suck him back in, luring him with her seductive warmth, that sense of caring. Tempting him with that relentless heat that flared whenever she was in sight.
He locked his jaw against the need to believe her. So what if she seemed sincere? He’d trusted her before, and she’d run off. Was she any more reliable now? Or was she only setting him up for another fall?
Did it matter? They weren’t married anymore. They wouldn’t need to see each other once they got off this mountain.
He blinked away the sweat stinging his eyes, and sighed. Yeah, it mattered. For some damn reason he couldn’t let go of that woman or purge her from his heart. She’d worked herself so deeply into his soul that nothing could pry her loose.
But he couldn’t dwell on that now, couldn’t let himself get distracted, not with the fire this close. He’d wade through his relationship with Jordan when they were safe.
And hope to God that by then, he could bash some sense into his brain.
He checked his watch, and the unease that had haunted him all day twisted his nerves. Even at their slow pace, they should be close to that spur ridge by now. They’d been hiking for hours.
And he felt every second of it. A jackhammer shrilled in his skull. Hunger gnawed deep in his gut. His shoulder burned so badly that nausea swelled up his throat.
And if he felt this weak, he couldn’t imagine how Jordan kept moving. That ankle had to be killing her by now. And they still had miles to go, hours battling through steep, brushy terrain with that damn fire heating their steps.
He just hoped to God that she could make it.
He forged a path around a thick stand of huckleberry bushes and a gust of smoke-tinged wind brushed his face. He looked up, his chest heaving, and glimpsed a slice of sky through the trees. So they’d finally reached the ridge. The tension squeezing his gut slacked. Maybe now he could get a visual on that fire and figure out the fastest way to the top.
Hurrying now, he burst through the last few pine trees onto a rocky ledge. One glance, and his hopes tanked. He couldn’t see anything that would help him. Douglas fir towered up both sides of the ridge and obscured his view of the clearing. Straight ahead, a smoke bank piled over the valley, shrouding it in gray.
He turned to warn Jordan as she limped out of the trees behind him. “You’d better stay back. There isn’t much room out here.” Beyond him, the rock ledge sheered off abruptly, plunging thirty feet to the trees below.
“All right. Come on, Dusty.” The dog lunged and bucked, spooked by the strong smell of smoke. Hauling hard on the leash, Jordan dragged him back to the trees.
Cade pulled his own attention back to the mountain. He searched the pines on the uphill flank, but they shielded the clearing from view. Across the ridge on the eastern slope, the trees descended to the thick haze below. Between the peaks, the dense smoke pooled around the mountain, its edges fringed with dark charcoal. Further out, it boiled up white and fluffy, like innocent cumulus clouds.
But that fire was anything but harmless. Bright orange flames flicked through the heavy smoke, like the menacing breaths of a dragon. And beneath that thick cover, the blaze moved steadily forward, shaking the valley with an ominous roar.
And he couldn’t tell where it was heading. He dragged his hand over his eyes, rubbing against the sting of burning pine, and wished to hell that his radio worked. He urgently needed an update.
Acknowledging the futility of that wish, he headed back to Jordan. She stared at the smoky valley, her dark
