Feisty Firefighters Bundle

have left him, how she could have tossed this amazing love away.

The whomp of an approaching helicopter crept into the silence. It grew louder, its rotors thumping as it passed over the cave. Their ride home had finally arrived. And the spurt of relief he felt was mixed with a strange reluctance.

Jordan lifted herself to her knees, looking dazed, then wobbled to her feet. Her gaze met his for an instant, guilty and grim, and then it skittered away.

And his frustration surged. What the hell did that look mean? Was she suddenly having regrets? She was the one who’d insisted.

Tired of her games, he rolled to his feet and zipped his pants. And without warning, the weight of the past ordeal pressed upon him. His body felt flayed, his stomach empty. Pain rammed his skull. His shoulder shuddered and ached.

And the futility of it all overwhelmed him, draining the last trace of pleasure from his blood. And he felt angry, damned angry. He was tired of being jerked around, sick of her damned evasions. Always wondering, never knowing. And he wanted answers now.

He turned to face her. She’d put on her jeans and bra, and had her T-shirt poised in her hand. Her gaze met his, and she paused.

His jaw hardened. His stomach clenched, and he moved deliberately closer. She stepped back. He leaned into her space, trapping her, until her dark eyes widened and her skin paled under the ashes. The scent of their lovemaking lingered in the air, stoking his anger into rage.

“So,” he said, his voice completely flat. “Just why the hell did you leave?”

Chapter 15

Jordan felt the blood drain from her face, and she froze. She stared into Cade’s furious blue eyes, her heart beating a fast, irregular rhythm against her throat. This wasn’t how she’d wanted to tell him. Not with him angry. Not with the helicopter circling outside.

Not when the most tender, exquisite experience of her life still pulsed in her nerves, lovemaking so perfect that it had shattered her heart.

Hardly breathing, she dropped her gaze to the T-shirt balled in her fist. She pried her fingers loose and shook it out, feeling suddenly exposed. Needing to regain some distance, she pulled the soiled shirt over her head and smoothed it down.

And braced herself for the confrontation. Even if the timing wasn’t ideal, Cade needed to know the truth. He’d deserved to hear it ten guilty years ago.

And she couldn’t put it off any longer.

Her stomach tensing, she forced her gaze up to his. A muscle in his cheek ticked, and his lean jaw tightened beneath the stubble.

She hitched in an unsteady breath. “When you left on that last trip, I…I was pregnant.”

He blinked. Then his jaw slackened, and for a second he looked stunned, as if she’d said the last thing he’d ever expected.

But then his expression stilled and his eyes turned blank. His wide shoulders stiffened, and she realized he’d misunderstood.

“Cade, no.” She reached out to touch his arm and he flinched back. His rejection flayed her, like a whip on her raw nerves. “I didn’t…I mean, I lost the baby. I miscarried. I didn’t-” Oh, God. “I never would have had an abortion.”

A dull red stain inched up his neck, but his expression only turned colder. And she realized she was botching it badly. Everything was coming out wrong.

She twisted her hands, then rubbed her palms on her thighs, searching for a way to explain. “I found out just after you left.”

“And you didn’t think I needed to know?”

The flat fury in his tone made her cringe. “Of course I did. I wanted to tell you right away. I was so happy and excited, and I wanted that baby so badly. But I wanted to tell you in person, to see your face when I broke the news.”

She had envisioned that romantic moment, had played it all out in her head. The music and candles. The tenderness in his sexy blue eyes. The joy.

“I thought you’d be coming back soon,” she whispered.

She searched his eyes, hoping for some sign of softness, but his hard face stayed unrelenting. And a sinking feeling filled her gut. He wasn’t going to make this easy-which was probably what she deserved.

“And then, when you called to tell me you’d gone to Alaska, I just…I felt abandoned, betrayed.” Crushed by the anger and hurt. Dazed that the man she had trusted had left her, and that her worst fear had finally come true.

She forced air into her lungs. “I started cramping after that. And I…”

She closed her eyes, remembering the panic and fear. She’d been nineteen years old and surrounded by strangers, more alone than she’d felt in her life.

She clutched her trembling hands together, then gestured, helpless to stem the old pain. “I didn’t know what to do. I drove to the hospital. They told me there wasn’t anything I could do, that I just needed to rest. So I went back to the apartment.”

She shifted her gaze to the cave’s dark wall, her mind focused on the agony of the past. How she’d lain on that sagging plaid couch, scared and lonely, afraid to move, and desperately needing Cade.

“And then…I just started bleeding and it wouldn’t stop.” She pressed her fingers to her lips and closed her eyes until the horror passed, until the shocking visions receded. Then she fixed her gaze on Cade. “And I drove back to the hospital.”

“Alone?” A muscle twitched in his cheek.

“Yes, I…They admitted me, but I still lost the baby.” Her chest wadded up with remembered feelings, that soul-numbing pain and grief. The guilt that she’d done something wrong and had somehow been to blame.

And as she’d lain there in that hospital bed, her hopes and dreams crashing down, the harsh reality had sunk in. She wouldn’t have that cozy family. Cade wanted to smokejump more than he loved her. She was alone, abandoned, just as she’d always feared.

He worked his jaw. “And you didn’t call me.” It wasn’t a question. They both knew that she hadn’t. The base would have patched an emergency message through.

“I didn’t think…” She spread her hands. “I thought you wouldn’t want-”

“To come back when my wife was in the hospital?” He stared at her, his face etched with disbelief.

A tight ball formed in her chest. “I thought you’d rather stay on the fire.”

“Hell.” The muscles along his jaw tensed, and he curled his hand into a fist, looking angrier than she’d ever seen him. “You didn’t give me a goddamn chance.”

She couldn’t deny it. She had made assumptions, big ones. And she hadn’t let him decide. “You’re right,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

His eyes narrowed in disgust, and then he turned and stalked to their bags. Despair spiraled through her as he hefted them up.

“Cade,” she pleaded.

He strode to the entry without answering, and in one furious movement yanked his fire shelter loose.

Stones fell and crashed around him, and the dog bolted to the back of the cave. Sunlight slanted through the rising dust, and he kicked the loose rocks aside. Then, without looking back, he twisted out of the opening and disappeared.

A sick, heavy feeling churned through her belly, and suddenly, like the pile of stones falling, the truth tumbled in on her, sucking the air from her lungs. She’d told herself he didn’t care, that he loved smokejumping more than her.

But it wasn’t true. He would have come home. He would have rushed to her side if she’d called him. He never