didn't want to apologize now. He shrugged as well as he could shrug while handling the oars. 'Gino, hey,' he said. 'I'm new at this. I tried.'
— 36 -
'You tried. You tried? You tried? Joey, you fucking little halfass loser pissant twerp, tree million dollars onna table, and you tried? That kinda money, Joey, ya don't try. A boy tries, Joey. A man does.'
Gino Delgatto sat in the stern of the rowboat and screamed. Salt water squished through his nylon socks and out through the seams of his soft, ruined loafers. His silk jacket was full of slime and splinters. He was bleeding freely from his sliced-open finger and didn't notice until after he'd run that hand through his hair.
'I shoulda known you'd fuck it up,' he went on. 'Ha!' He slapped himself on the forehead. 'Where was my fucking brain? What was going on in my fucking head that I would leave anything up to you? I must be crazy. How long I known you always fuck things up? Always. Shit, don't I know that's why you come down here inna first place? You couldn't cut it in New York, Joey, so here you are in this pissant little nothing place.'
Gino enjoyed screaming. He had a voice that razzed like a trombone as it got louder, and it could fill a room, a house; sometimes it seemed like it could shout down everything for a city block. But it couldn't fill the ocean at four A.M., and this was a little frustrating. Also, to really crank up the volume, he had to squeeze from the gut, and this made his ribs burn as if touched with lit cigarettes. Well, tough, thought Gino. Let it hurt. His emeralds were at the bottom of the ocean and, goddammit, somebody, everybody, was going to pay.
'Yeah,' he resumed, agreeing with himself. 'You come down here because up there ya gotta do things right, and you never did. Ya couldn't even handle a bagga money without fucking it up somehow. Rough a guy up? Forget about it. You got no nerve, Joey. No balls. And everybody knows it, don't kid yourself. Pop, your so-called buddies- they all know you're worthless.' He slapped himself in the head again. 'Me, I know it. So why the fuck did I listen to you? Did I figure, O.K., I'm on your turf, maybe you're less of a fuckup here? Did I figure, hey, give the kid a chance, maybe by some miracle he ain't such a total loser anymore?'
Rowing is a very serene activity, private, repetitive, with constant evidence of slow but uncomplicated progress. So Joey rowed. He'd never done it before, and he didn't do it well, but he did it. He'd kicked off his wet sneakers, rolled up his wet pants legs, and was almost comfortable. He answered his brother softly. 'Gino, come on, you listened to me 'cause you were desperate. You were drunk as a skunk, scared shitless, and you didn't know what to do next.'
To Gino, this version of events already sounded wildly false, and if he didn't yet have a more satisfactory tale to tell himself, he'd construct one on the fly. 'That's where you're wrong, kid,' he razzed, wagging a bleeding finger in Joey's face. 'Very wrong. I woulda come up with a plan. I was already workin' on it. And it wouldn'ta been so fucking half-ass like yours. Mine woulda worked. I got impatient. That was my mistake.' He slapped his head. 'I got impatient, and yeah, I let my confidence get shook, that much I admit. So I depend on a little shitass nobody like you to pull me through. So O.K., I deserve what I got. Nothin'.'
Joey rowed. Emerald-green flashes of phosphorescence streamed out from the blades of his oars, and the whole world seemed to exhale with relief at the pause in Gino's tantrum. The stars appeared to be receding with the prospect of the end of night. When Gino spoke again, he was not yelling but seemed to be thinking aloud.
'Nothin'. No money. No stones. All I got for my trouble is this big fucking problem with Charlie Ponte.'
'Yup,' said Joey, 'ya still got that.'
Gino said nothing. He shifted on the cracked stern seat of the rowboat and watched blood congeal on his finger. Somehow the zest went out of his rage when he remembered he was scheduled to be rubbed out.
'So what ya gonna do about it?' Joey resumed.
Again Gino made no answer, and Joey, between strokes of the oars, could not resist adding, 'I mean, you said you had a plan and all.'
'I do have a plan,' Gino said by reflex. In the old days Joey might have believed him.
'Want my advice?'
Gino snorted. 'Yeah, Joey, like I want a root canal.'
'Just lay low for a while. Not long. A week, tops. Don't get antsy. 'Cause I got a feeling that things can still work out.'
Gino considered this a moment, then his temper kicked in again. 'Yeah? Like as good as they been workin' out so far?' His blood pressure rose so that his cut finger spat out its half-formed scab. His side throbbed like a drum. 'Joey, man, I cannot fucking believe you are still giving me advice and I'm sittin' heah like almost half taking you seriously. After what you did to me, you dumb twat.' He gestured off in the general direction of land. 'Joey, the fucking stones were in my hand. In my hand! Why couldn't you just leave well enough alone? I coulda been halfway to New York by now. But no, you gotta get fancy. You gotta play the smart guy. And I listen.' He smacked himself in the head. 'Joey, do me a favor, don't fucking talk to me no more.'
Joey shrugged and rowed. For a long time the only sound was the soft splash of the oars, a noise that was companionable and oddly domestic, like a cat lapping milk in the kitchen. Off in the east, in a colorless and utterly undramatic way, the sky was just barely beginning to lighten. Low stars were doused and two different shades of black were sandwiched at the horizon.
'Gino, man,' Joey said at last, 'I got, like, a suggestion I wanna make.'
He paused, waiting to see if Gino would shut him up. He didn't. It was one thing to sulk, but with two guys in an eight-foot rowboat, silences could turn truly psychotic.
'So listen,' Joey went on. 'I realize maybe this isn't the best time to bring this up, I know you're a little upset and all. But Gino, I been thinkin'. I been thinkin' it would be a good thing if like you and me could just forgive each other.'
Gino Delgatto looked at his half brother as if he'd never seen him before, as if he'd just that minute dropped from the sky and landed in the rowboat. 'Fuck you talking about?'
Joey breathed deeply but kept rowing. 'Gino, I just lost you a fortune. You were gonna be a big man, set for life, and I fucked it up for you. I could say I'm sorry, but you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm glad.'
Gino stared at Joey. He had a thought to lunge forward and strangle him but was held back by stupefaction and the fear of falling overboard and drowning.
'All my life you been makin' me feel bad, Gino. It's like either you use me or ignore me. When I was a little kid, you didn't protect me, you lemme get beat up. When I dropped outta school-'
'Joey, what is this bullshit? We're gonna sit here inna middle of the fucking ocean and drag out grudges from a million years ago?'
'Not from a million years ago,' said Joey. 'From now. 'Cause it's never changed, Gino. You don't take me serious. I leave New York. Does it ever dawn on you to wonder how I'm doin', what I'm doin'? No. When you get involved in somethin' down heah, then you're innerested 'cause then you can use me. You can take it for granted that I'll drop everything to help you out. You see what I'm sayin', Gino? You don't treat me right, but you don't lemme get away either.'
'You wanna get away, get away,' said Gino. 'Who's stoppin' ya?'
'Who am I chauffeurin' around inna fucking rowboat? But O.K., say I really do break away. Gino, my mother's dead. Your mother's a little old lady. Pop, you look at 'im close, he don't look great. He can still keep his tie straight and his shoulders back, but he's an old man. What happens when they're all dead, Gino? Are we still brothers then? Why, what for? Are we even gonna talk?'
'Sure we are, kid. Sure.'
'I'm not so sure,' said Joey. 'Why should we? I'm not gonna run errands for you. I'm not gonna make you any money. That's over. And I know you, Gino. A guy doesn't do exactly what you want, right away he's disloyal, he's ungrateful, he's an enemy. So that's how you're gonna thinka me. And that's just gonna get me more pissed at you for all the time you held me down.'
Gino slapped his knees so hard the rowboat bucked, and gave a grunt that mingled with a bitter laugh. 'Joey, this is fucking rich. You drop tree million dollars a mine inna fucking water, now you try to make it sound like I'm inna fucking wrong and that's why it happened?'
'Gino, this is the whole point. I'm not talking right and I'm not talking wrong. I'm saying that what goes on
